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Physical and verbal abuse break children and damage their self worth
View(s):By Minaza Hassan
Generations of parents believe physical punishment is an effective method, however, scientific evidence consistently proves the opposite and research shows it causes serious psychological harm, said psychotherapist Varuni Fernando.
Studies, including Sri Lankan research from the early 2000s, have found that around 70% of children have experienced corporal punishment, said Ms. Fernando.
When a child is hurt by the very people they trust, (their parents, teachers or primary caregivers) it damages their sense of safety and can lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem later in life, said Ms. Fernando.
Their bond assures them they are loved and the world is safe. Physical punishment weakens this bond, and children cannot understand that punishment is meant to correct behaviour instead, they feel unloved, said Ms. Fernando.
Repeated punishment heightens stress responses and can even alter brain physiology, as childhood is a critical period for emotional and neurological growth, she added.
Meta-analyses, which combine findings from many studies, reveal that even if a child stops misbehaving in the moment, they are more likely to continue the behaviour in the long term. In other words, corporal punishment can produce immediate compliance, but it does not teach children the skills needed to manage their behaviour, she explained.
Research comparing corporal punishment to other discipline strategies, such as time-outs or reasoning, has found that physical punishment is less effective and may even produce worsened outcomes, said Ms Fernando.
In addition, over the decades, numerous long-term studies have also found a strong link between being physically punished as a child and later developing mental health difficulties, said Ms Fernando.
Research shows that the more frequently a child experiences corporal punishment, the higher the chances are that, by around age 18 years, they may face serious challenges such as depression, suicidal thoughts or attempts, substance abuse, and even involvement in criminal behaviour, said Ms. Fernando.
Adults regularly spanked or physically punished as children have been found to have higher rates of mood disorders, anxiety, and addiction compared with those who weren’t, said Ms. Fernando.
Children who are punished physically may appear obedient or submissive in the short term, but this often comes with withdrawal and anxiety as it increases fear in children and negatively affects their concentration and learning capacity, said Shiyamalan Viyakesh, psychologist and trainer at Learn for Life Sri Lanka, a non-governmental organisation focused on socio-emotional learning for Sri Lankan youth,.
Furthermore, when children anticipate physical punishment, they often hide their actions, feelings, or mistakes to avoid being hit, which prevents open communication. This lack of psychological safety means that adults may remain unaware of important aspects of the child’s life, leaving the child feeling unseen and misunderstood, said Mr. Viyakesh.
From a psychological perspective, corporal punishment can produce behaviour change, but not in the way most people intend. It mainly creates compliance based on fear rather than genuine understanding or internalised self-discipline. Children who are punished physically may appear obedient or submissive in the short term, but this often comes with, anxiety, and taking few initiatives, as they learn to avoid punishment rather than reflect on their actions, said Mr. Viyakesh
While some people may attribute their success to being strictly disciplined, research and psychological theory suggest that these behaviours are copied or adapted from fear-based conditioning, rather than a result of healthy behavioural development, he added.
In the end, it restricts curiosity and a growth mindset. Fear-based compliance limits brain development, concentration, motivation, and academic performance, while encouraging emotional suppression and dishonesty, it masks behaviour rather than truly teaching self-discipline, said Mr. Viyakesh.
Psychologically, more effective alternatives to corporal punishment focus on motivation and positive guidance rather than fear, for instance, one approach is positive behaviour support, which helps children channel their energy and impulses in constructive ways, while another is restorative practices, which teach children to repair the harm they have caused instead of fearing punishment, he added.
Agreeing with Ms. Varuni’s and Mr. Viyakesh’s insights, another psychologist and lecturer, Anjali Jayawardena added that schools should prioritise children’s mental health rather than physical punishments, as a child’s emotional wellbeing contributes to their performance in schools.
Instead of punishment, using evidence-based strategies tailored to the child’s behaviour is ideal, however, one method may not always fit every situation, said Ms. Jayawardena.
For example, instead of corporal punishment, if a child is disruptive in class, giving them a leadership role or responsibility can help channel their energy positively and strengthen their sense of self, encouraging better behaviour without causing harm, she explained.
Furthermore, schools can introduce psychoeducational programs for students, teachers, parents, and school administrators to build awareness and support healthy emotional development, said Ms. Jayawardena.
Considering this context, Deputy Minister of Education, Dr. Madhura Seneviratne told the Sunday Times that the recent reforms that were proposed to amend the Penal Code focusing on ending corporal punishment for children had been misunderstood and poorly communicated.
It aims to strengthen child protection and to empower teachers with new and more effective discipline tactics while addressing all forms of physical and verbal abuse towards children, said Dr. Seneviratne.
The goal of the reform which is now in pending and under consideration is to reduce violence against children in every setting which includes schools, homes, orphanages, state institutions, and faith-based organisations, recognising that such violence goes beyond the classroom, said Dr. Seneviratne.
The deputy minister explained that teachers in Sri Lanka are already guided by Circular 2016/12, which bans corporal
punishment and promotes non-violent discipline.
Following global trends, the ministry simply considered introducing a “positive disciplining” framework that focuses on guidance, communication, and understanding instead of fear and punishment, he said.
This approach is a scientific, evidence-based method that fosters empathy, dialogue, and collaboration among teachers, parents, and students to build responsible behaviour without causing harm.
There are guidelines for students and teachers, covering areas like school attire, punctuality, and behaviour. It helps teachers address rule violations in a structured, non-harmful way by engaging with students, explaining the issue, and promoting awareness of acceptable conduct instead of using punishment, said Dr. Seneviratne.
Teachers would be empowered to identify and refer students who display repeated antisocial or concerning behaviour to counsellors or psychiatrists, rather than resorting to punishment, said Dr. Seneviratne.
This system is intended to prevent psychological trauma, while ensuring that behavioural issues are handled through support and guidance instead of harassment, said Dr. Seneviratne.
Educators and parents often fall back on corporal punishment, or verbal abuse because they are unsure how else to discipline children effectively, he said.
Many teachers and parents are unfamiliar with what positive discipline actually entails, so their instinct is to rely on physical or mental forms of punishment to manage behaviour, he explained.
As this approach to discipline is relatively new to society, the resistance and fear are natural, said Dr. Seneviratne.
To address this, education and public awareness of non-violent discipline methods is needed along with a clear framework and structure within schools for teachers, parents and children to follow, said Dr. Seneviratne.
This policy also aligns with Sri Lanka’s commitments under the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child, he added.
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