A Chicken Soup without Chicken and an Everything without Nothing
View(s):Yesterday, during dinner my daughter Esther requested for more food even when she already had some food remaining in her plate, she did so as she was very fond of the meal that was served. Then, we advised her that she must first happily consume what she already has in her plate and then request for more if needed. As a youngster I was exactly the same as this. It was a difficult task to make me happy as I constantly seemed to see what was missing instead of what was already in hand. Contentment is one of the most powerful and most essential ingredients in the soup of happiness. Being discontent is similar to making a chicken soup without chicken. Connecting with your current reality is known as the present, it is the most crucial aspect in achieving contentment. My daughter Esther deviated her mind away from the present and placed it in the future. It might be because of the fear that the food might be over.
However, that fearful thought circuit robbed her from experiencing the maximum pleasure of what was in her plate as her mind began focusing on the future. Focusing on what is yet to come will rob you from tasting what is in your plate currently. Only the present could be tasted, in order to be content you must taste the present to its fullest. I am currently driving a Harrier and people keep encouraging me to buy a better jeep, so, I tell them that I do not feel any gap in the level of my happiness. As I attain the maximum pleasure from the existing drive. Therefore, I do not see any need for another. What they view as better is not applicable to me. As for me, I am driving the best. Best or better is defined on how happy you feel with what you have and to what extend it has the ability to serve the very purpose that you expect from it.
Many marriages end up in separations because they tend to perceive someone better in a few years, than the person whom they once said was the best of all before marriage. If you train your mind to seek only for the deficiency, your mind will ignore the beauty of sufficiency. The mind that focuses on deficiency will always live in the future whereas the mind of sufficiency will constantly be happy in the present moment. I have seen rich people living miserable lives as they do not have chicken in their chicken soup. Once a very wealthy businessman told me “Philip, I have everything, but I don’t have anything”. His saying led me to write the article “Having Everything and Nothing at the Same Time”. You may possess everything yet not have a life. And also you can have something and everything when you have contentment. I wish my readers would share these articles with their children so that the next generation will lay a strong foundation for their lives rather than seeking for treatment once everything is messed up.
Being honest to yourself is another fundamental element that is required to be content. The most critical swindle takes place the moment you cheat yourself. I had been lying to myself over a period of time, as I was unable to understand the reality of who I was. I had a bogus picture of myself, just as a person who has a high level of sugar believes that everything is fine and medication is not required. The moment you lie to yourself you automatically shut the doors for correction and development. Just as you are content with what you acquire in your possession, it is of great importance to understand yourself so that you will not be disappointed. When you are aware of the pace you can run then you will be content with the place you achieve. When you know the effort you have put in then you will certainly be happy with the weight you can lift. Acceptance to contentment is like salt for the soup. If you have not trained your mind to accept yourself then you will never be able to master the art of contentment.
The moment I approached my wife back then whilst she was my girlfriend, I told her everything about myself including my history of drug addiction, sexual immorality in my younger days, my bad temper and every other bitter truth about me. I felt it was better to be rejected by sharing the truth rather than being accepted for a short period only to eventually be rejected forever which will certainly become a massive damage to my life. Being honest to yourself will make you feel content and satisfied as honesty always produces self-appreciation. You would ultimately not gain anything if you have not gained satisfaction about yourself.
Recently, whilst I was taking a walk down my lane in just a casual short and my rubber slippers, one of my neighbours told me that he has high regards towards my simplicity. My children happily enjoy coconut sambol and rice just as they would enjoy an international buffet. Never ask your children comparative questions such as how do you feel about your birthday this year compared to the last or how is this new car compared to the previous one or any other similar questions as it is not needed at all. Instead, teach them to be happy with whatever they have at a very specific moment of time. Instead of observing things in the comparison mode you can encourage them to look at it with a growth mindset. The same idea could be expressed differently. One could say “I am blind, please help me” or “It’s a beautiful day, I can’t see it”. Challenging your fears would help you to reach the full potential of yourself and once you have reached your fullest potential then you are sure to have gained sufficient self-confidence to face the world. I was even afraid of speaking to anyone whilst looking at his/her face, as I thought that I do not amount to anything. Yet, the more I challenge myself the more I grow and the more I grow the more self-confidence I gain, the more self-confidence I gain I begin to love myself more and the more I love myself I become more content of myself and would not seek external validations as I have already validated myself internally.
For Comments and Corporate Training, Personal Coaching and Business Consultation enquiries – 0774 88 5656 / for online purchases of the Book “The Art of Bouncing Back” www.philipnehri.com / e-mail: philipnehri.m@gmail.com
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