Tales from Pigdom
By Plato's Girl and Average Joe

Hello, cinizens, we are back after an exhausting trip to Pigdom, the land of the free pigs, where all pigs are equal but some pigs are more equal than others as George Orwell would say. Here's what we learnt from the pigs and their books on human beings (their former masters).

Apparently there's something called 'equality' in the world of humans and it is universal, meaning all human beings are equal. What our friends in Pigdom didn't know is that this misconception is nothing new to us humans. It's been around for centuries.

The American Declaration of Independence asserts that 'all men are created equal.' Maybe they think Iraq is inhabited by aliens in disguise. Anyway, going by that logic even a malnourished child of a convict in the wildest part of Africa is equal at least in theory to the dim-witted hypocrite called Bush who thinks he rules the world. Yeah, right.

Closer to home, our very own constitution states that all persons are equal before the law and are entitled to the equal protection of the law and no citizen shall be discriminated against on the grounds of race, religion, language, caste, sex, political opinion, place of birth or any such grounds. Politicians talk ad nauseam about peace and equality on TV everyday. The less said about what they do to uphold equality the better.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights by the so called "United" Nations says that all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights and are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood. Nice theory… looks great on paper. Delusions of grandeur, anyone? Nah… 'course not.

So, when you feel you are not being treated equally, and being sidelined or discriminated against it is must be because, by definition, the other party who treats you thus doesn't consider you human enough. Ouch.

But let's get back to Pigdom. Pigdom is home to a big bunch of pigs - one billion to be exact; pigs that freed themselves from their human masters. Equality for all is the law of the land and Pigmalism, the state religion, preaches that treating other pigs equally is the highest virtue above all else. King Pig Push, supreme leader of Pigdom is the personification, or should we say, piggification, of this virtue, at least according to their media.

In Pigdom there are the big pigs like King Pig Push and his Pigisters, living in the lap of luxury and the small pigs living in the smelliest pigsties imaginable.

They're coloured too - pink (the pure), white (the clean) and black (the wild boar). They fought among themselves a couple of times over who should be king, the plebeian and the slave, but that was settled once and for all when the then King Pig, Mr. King of Kings proclaimed that the purest race would be kings, the clean the working class, and the wild boar the slaves…to hell with equality…

The wild boar grunted in protest but it went largely unheard. There was an uprising once, but that was vanquished. They are black after all, and not like the others, so, no, equality doesn't apply to them, the King Pig is said to have told his faithful Pigisters, who, of course, had wholeheartedly agreed. From then on, the wild boars were made to work even harder. That was centuries ago, though. The valiant efforts of many wiser pigs have ensured that at least in theory, all pigs are equal. But discrimination is yet to completely disappear.

More and more grunts are being heard today, and the pinks and whites cannot pretend to not hear them. When we left Pigdom, they were getting ready to elect their next king. And one of the favourites to win is a wild boar. There is talk of change and revolution. And the wise pigs of all colours are studying the methods of their former masters: us, humans. Bad idea! But pigs are headstrong creatures, aren't they?
Here's wishing them success and all the luck in the world (they're going to need it).

Have a nice day!

(Mail your thoughts to: cynicsil.mm@gmail.com)

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