5th Column

My dear Lal,

I thought of writing to you when you became the focus of attention after your recent public comments, firstly about departed comrade Nandana and then more generally, saying that if anyone takes to politics and attacks you and your party, they should expect the same treatment in return.

I admire your honesty and for saying it as you see it. You once said, “I’m just Lal”, implying that what you see is what you get. Not many politicians can make that claim. Not even Chamara Sampath, who said, “I don’t know English, I don’t know International Relations,” because we all know he is a rascal.

Among the maalimaawa chaps, you have also mastered the art of getting your message across in as few words as possible. Maybe you should conduct tuition classes for others in your camp. There are plenty of people who should attend: the two Sunils, Nalin, Lakmali, TB Sarath, even Ananda Wijey!

There were signs that you would be controversial even before the last big elections, Lal. That was when you said that, under the maalimaawa, judicial powers will be devolved to the village level. Your rivals criticised you, saying the sahodarayas are planning to dispense justice under the shade of trees.

That almost boomeranged on the maalimaawa, and we heard nothing controversial from you during those elections again. One wonders whether orders went out from Pelawatte that careless talk costs votes. If it did, the same orders need to be issued again, not to you, but to many others in your camp.

After the election you were back in your element telling farmers that they were ‘free’ to act against monkeys who harmed their crop. Environmentalists were up in arms. You got away then saying you only wanted to create an awareness of the issue but we did end up doing a ‘monkey census’!

Recently, you again provoked people after Ranwala’s car accident, when he went from hospital to hospital before being tested for consuming alcohol. Many were aghast that this chap was allowed to go scot-free once again but you said, ‘Ranwala is a good man, I pity those who don’t know that’.

We still wonder whether you were being sarcastic or you meant what you said. We will continue to do so for a long time, maybe as long as it takes for Ranwala to produce his certificate. Bimal told us last week that even he thinks there is no certificate. So, you were being sarcastic, weren’t you, Lal?

You created a greater controversy thereafter, speaking of a person roaming the jungles of Mihintale. We all know who that comment was directed at. If the cap fits, put it on, some said, but Nalinda sahodaraya had to quickly do some damage control saying you didn’t mention anyone specific.

You seem to be enjoying these controversies, Lal, because when your former comrade Nandana passed away, you generated debate again. You gave him ten marks for rebuilding the party and deducted ten marks for betraying the party. So, you said, to you he amounted to ten minus ten, zero.

In saying that, you even ignored the courtesy of not speaking ill of the dead. Many will criticise you for that. Others will say you were only being honest and saying what you truly felt and not trying to sugar coat your thoughts just because Nandana sahodaraya had passed away. Still, it made headlines.

As if to clarify all these sentiments, last week you told us that if someone enters politics and criticises your camp, they should expect to be attacked, even with what you called ‘foul shots’. You also told us that it doesn’t matter whether they wear ‘the black coat, the national suit or a monk’s robes’.

Again, Lal, you leave it to us to figure out who they are. There are plenty who wear the national suit who frustrate the maalimaawa. It is also clear that some attorneys who generally wear the black coat and some monks from Mihintale, Balangoda and Galagoda-Aththa are now getting under your skin!

Still, people say you missed an important category, those wearing business suits, even when they are importing Rolls Royce cars without paying the prescribed taxes in the fist instance. Is that because they claim they are not engaged in politics or is it because they are old friends from Rajarata, Lal?

However, in that same speech, you did acknowledge that although the maalimaawa had gained full control of government, it hadn’t gained control of state power. You couldn’t be more accurate. A fifth of your term is already over. That is what you should be saying bluntly to Anura sahodaraya, Lal!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: When you say that if you are in politics, you must expect criticism and your attire does not matter, does that apply to your own camp too? Can you be as harsh to those wearing the saree, double-pocket shirts, and perhaps most importantly, to those who wear shirts with sleeves folded at the elbows, Lal?