Appreciation
View(s):Strong, compassionate and caring, she always had a zest for life
ELEANOR NALINI MACINTYRE
Eleanor Nalini MacIntyre was born in Sri Lanka on September 21, 1937 to Julius and Nirmalam Mather (nee Chanmugam). She went to school at Ladies’ College Colombo (batch of 1954) and then to university at Peradeniya, where she met my father, Ernest. He tells me he fell in love with her at first sight.
She told me many riveting stories of university life, where she made lifelong friends, including Gillian Ondaatje and Monica Ludowyk. She became Godmother to Gillian’s daughter Shaan, and Gillian to her son, Amrit.
She was indomitable, strong, ethical and principled. She was a fixer and a helper of others. She was not personally ambitious, despite her formidable intellect and getting the university medal. She could have pursued a high-flying career with a prestigious scholarship to Cambridge that she received as the university medallist. But she chose to focus on her family, following her new husband, who was posted in the UK while in the Sri Lankan Air Force.
She studied at the University of Leicester which was closer to his Air Force posting than Cambridge, and then returned to Sri Lanka with him. She had her two children soon after, Amrit and me, and in 1964 was recruited by principal Mabel Simon to teach at Ladies’ College Colombo
Later, she was Vice Principal of Ladies’ College. We lived in a flat on the school grounds, at the end of a row of classrooms, with the whole grounds as our playground on weekends. She took a keen interest in her students, and encouraged them to excel. She loved LC, came to Sri Lanka for the school’s centenary, and even visited Ms Simon and another former principal, Ms Hitchcock in the UK many years later when we were in Australia.
She had a full social life in Colombo with her friends, her extended family and many cousins, and the Stage and Set theatre crowd that my father was involved in. She collaborated with my father in the theatre over many decades, with her theatrical debut in 1967, playing the role of Natella Ababashvili in Bertolt Brecht’s Caucasian Chalk Circle.
Her brother Ronnie was a scientist in Australia, and sponsored us to migrate to Australia in 1973. There, she built a new life for us, and provided the strength and stability we needed to make the transition. Our house was a hub for visitors from overseas, both from Sri Lanka and Sri Lankan friends living around the world. She did some teaching in Sydney, did a Masters in Education at the University of Sydney and had her longest and final career at the University of Technology Sydney, until she retired in 1998.
She maintained a rich and active social life with family and friends, an extensive network of Ladies’ College old girls and Peradeniya University alumni. There was also the drama club established by my father, comprising a large group of drama enthusiasts and amateur actors who were part of their social circle.
Every Sunday night, family and friends would gather to eat a huge spread that she had cooked. The intellectual stimulation from these social gatherings was the backdrop for our childhood and young adulthood, with an amazing brains trust of smart and talented people in their social circles. Just listening to their conversations was enriching
Classical music was also a constant backdrop to our lives, as she always played her favourite symphonies, piano concertos and operas at home. When my kids were small, she used to read to them, sing to them, play them videos of her favourite operas such as The Magic Flute, and engage them in literature and music. When she was in hospital during her final illness, I walked into the Emergency Department and found my daughter sitting by her, her phone on my mother’s pillow, playing The Magic Flute to her nanna.
She was a strong woman, but also a kind, modest and compassionate person. I never saw her resentful, bitter or malicious. She was always positive and content. Many people turned to her for advice and counselling, and many tributes to her mention how she provided support to so many people facing hard times. So many of her Ladies’ College students kept in touch with her, even 50 years after she left the school. Work colleagues in Australia visited her 20 years after she retired. This tells me she had a lasting impact on the lives of people she touched.
She was also a prolific donor to charities, something I did not know until she moved in with me in 2018, and I started collecting her mail for her. She donated regularly to charities for cancer, medical research, food relief, children, the homeless, and so many other causes. She knew well the teaching found in the Gospel according to Matthew that “When you do good deeds, don’t try to show off”.
She had a determination and zest for life that stayed with her, even after a series of serious health issues later in life that would have plunged other people into a state of depression. She remained positive, happy and interested in everything around her. She was enthusiastic about the 125th anniversary of Ladies’ College, one week before her passing. She was too unwell to attend, but I attended and said some words on her behalf.
She leaves behind her soulmate, constant companion, intellectual sparring partner and husband of nearly 65 years, Ernest, who will feel her absence most intensely. She leaves behind her children and grandchildren, in whom she has instilled her values and moral compass. I was blessed to have her in my life for 61 years, and comfort myself knowing she is resting in peace with God.
Raina MacIntyre
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