Michael Jackson's private suffering was revealed in the Conrad Murray trial today as jurors were shown the incredible array of drugs stashed at the singer's home and listened to audio of his slurred voice explaining how he felt the pain of abandoned children because he never had a childhood himself.
The quantity of drugs, displayed by the Deputy District Attorney, David Walgren, was almost as shocking as the eerie recording from beyond the grave, in which the King of Pop told how important it was to him that his planned comeback concerts at London's O2 Arena were a triumph.
'Elvis didn't do it. Beatles didn't do it. We have to be phenomenal. When people leave the show, when people leave my show, I want them to say, "I've never seen nothing like this in my life",' he said.
He said he wanted his fans to hail him as 'the greatest entertainer in the world.' The recording was made by Jackson's personal doctor, Conrad Murray, on his iPhone using an iTalk application and prosecutors claim it was taped while the star was under the influence of the hospital anaesthetic Propofol.
'My performances will be up there helping my children. I love them I love them because I didn't have a childhood. I had no childhood. I feel their pain. I feel their hurt. I can deal with it,' Jackson said in a slow, faltering tone much different to the star's famously high voice.
'Heal the World, We Are the World, Will You Be There, The Lost Children. These are the songs I have written because I hurt, you know, I hurt,' he added.
The recording was played during the testimony of Drug Enforcement Agency forensic computer expert Stephen Marx, who analysed data on Murray's iPhone. It was recorded on May 10, 2009 - just six weeks before Jackson's death.
Jackson told how he planned to take the millions he would make with his 'This Is It' tour to build the 'biggest children's hospital in the world' with a game room and a move theatre.
'Children are depressed in those hospitals because there is no game room, no movie theatre. They're sick because they're depressed.
'Their mind is depressing them. I care about them, them angels. God wants me to do it. I'm going to do it, Conrad,' he adds. The lights were dimmed in the courtroom while the recording - a snippet of which was heard during the prosecution's opening statement - was played in full.
'Don't have enough hope, no more hope,' he said. 'That's the real generation that's going to save our planet, starting with, we'll talk about it - United States, Europe, Prague.
'My babies. They walk around with no mother. They drop them off, they leave -- a psychological degradation of that. They reach out to me -- please take me with you. 'I want to do it for them. That will be remembered more than my performances. My performances will be up there helping my children and always be my dream.'
Asked by Murray if he was okay, Jackson says: 'I am asleep.'
Murray, 58, has pleaded not guilty to causing Jackson's death on June 25, 2009, by administering him with a fatal dose of powerful Propofol, which is only supposed to be used in a hospital setting.
If he is convicted of involuntary manslaughter, Murray could be jailed for up to four years.
© Daily Mail, London