Appreciations

Our annual October pilgrimage to Badulla to greet our mother on her birthday is over. Two weeks short of her 97th birthday she passed away peacefully.

Her last letter to her sons and daughters, sons-in-law and daughters-in-law was dated April 2006. The letter began quite legally, stating that her mind was clear. In the next sentence she thanked us for being her children. Before she ended the letter she gave the menu for her dane (almsgiving).

The seven-hour journey to Badulla, gave me time to think of our childhood and our home. We are a large extended family and our ties are strong. Most of my cousins at one time or another lived with us, our friends too made our home their home. My parents welcomed them, but it was my mother who fed and cared for us all.

Every night my mother went to bed making sure there would be enough food for at least three people who might drop in during the night. She had no fridge and other modern conveniences.

Amma, remember the times we fell off trees, strange we never broke our bones? Remember the time when one of us nearly got drowned at Kurunduwathawe, the time that one of my brothers was almost gored by an angry bull or the time when everything came to a standstill at Liyangawela when a little three-year-old went missing?

Then there were other times when childhood diseases invaded our home, whooping cough, and mumps, and Diphtheria and everything in-between. You handled them all, with coriander for simple colds, and 'dummala' from the 'dummessa' for simple wounds. Dhammi is the one who got this treatment most often.

How did you manage it all and still keep your cool?

You were a good seamstress. During World War II you bought white sarees with the coupons, so you could make our school uniforms. You crocheted all our curtains. Kamali has inheritted this talent from you.

I have never known you ill-treating or favouring anyone, not even our helpers. You cared for all my cousins and all our friends the way you cared for your own children. There was no place for jealousy in our home.

You were someone very special to your grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Our son called me from Hong Kong, wanting to talk to you. Thank God, I was able to get him to speak to you on Jana's cell phone. This was a week before you passed away. One grandson cried his heart out because you would not be there to bless his child, and he is not even married. "There is no one who strokes my head the way my grandmother did," he said.

You gave us, your children and in-laws the opportunity to care for you, to feed you, bathe you and joke with you. Our cousins Pearl and Ethel were with you most of the time — we thank them for caring for you. Two days before you passed away Sitha invited two monks to chant Pirith for you. The day you passed away Rupa fed you the 'kenda' that Sepali made. Srinath and Vinitha were always with you.

A gentle smile creased your lips as you crossed over. Perhaps Thaththa, Sonna and Jayanthi were there to welcome you.
Farewell Amma, and thank you for the memories.