A tall tale of two Talon-ted leaders
View(s):For me, the week gone by was dominated by two leaders. One, the dashingly energetic leader of a Serendipitous Island Republic (SIR, for short). And the other, the democratically elected leader of the World’s Undisputed Sole Superpower (WUSS, for better or worse). Both of whom, for entirely different reasons, made the headlines seem hotter. At least, for the media shelf life of the week’s local newspapers, international TV reportage, and underground or ubiquitous online blogs. (Now don’t stop reading because one word in the last sentence had five syllables, dears!)
To SIR, with love
In Serendip the weirdest trends emerge, hover blithely, and land with great panache. The absentee leader who flew in a hurry, ostensibly to avoid a lady crusader of global repute, returned. And not, as his critics expected or anticipated, with a whimper – but a bang… or was it a thud!? Anyway, even the ranks of Tuscany could not forbear to cheer when he got back to basics and showed he means business with a capital D. D, for Democracy? D, for Demagoguery? No no, D for Definition. After all, leaders are those who, among other things, define reality for the rest of us, their followership.
He did it in style. His style up to now has been a sort of suaviter in modo, fortiter in re. Or, if you skipped Western Classics or snoozed in the back of the Greek and Roman Civilizations class, an iron-fist-in-a-velvet-glove approach. On some days, he smacks smiling infants on their cheeks. On others, he smacks smarting insurgents on their butt cheeks.
He raps errant knuckles, pats backs encouragingly, palms off blame like it was poisonous belladonna, and hands out encomiums to sycophants who toe the line. You have to hand it to him. He is a politician in the better sense of the word…
And this time round, he did it with a resounding definition: “A dictator is a ruler who does not conduct elections,” he announced to an admiring electorate, a bemused media community, and flabbergasted detractors. We all know what that means. SIR is not simply living in denial, it is defining – no, redefining – the way the game is not only played, but named and tamed. Dare we point out that many a despot has trod the primrose path of dalliance to tyranny through a bed of populist roses and witty apothegms?
Stop being such a WUSS
On the other side of the world, a once-favoured democrat or Democrat fell from grace in the eyes of the watching world when he ordered his warships to steam into a beleaguered Middle Eastern war zone. Funny captions had a field day. “They bombed themselves first, so I’ll bomb them second.” Or words to that effect. But Syriaously, folks!
One thoughtful commentator provoked a flurry of responses by asking: “Can a Nobel Peace Prize laureate retain his laurels by declaring war?” Well, it wouldn’t be the first time that a world-class hooligan hitched a ride to the stars on the back of the peace prize wagon. Hitler had a nomination once. So had Stalin. An erstwhile US Secretary of State even manufactured a war out of media sentiment at home and shuttle diplomacy overseas to secure the 1973 nomination. And now the conventional wisdom is that the leader of the WUSSes has out-Kissingered Kissinger.
Redefining reality
But what does this have to do with being at my wits end? Well, for starters, it underlines the truth that powerful people can define reality so well that it makes sense even to one’s previously most vociferous critics. Hagiographers (five more lovely syllables) crawled out of the woodwork to sing SIR’s praises. And it wasn’t just the usual suspects. More and more moderates are beginning to see the light. Which is to say, the way the wind is blowing.
And those who watch WUSS with an eagle eye would have realized by now that Uncle Sam is yet another incarnation of the Old Bald Eagle whose empire once stretched from Ultima Thule off Britain’s ancient shores to the Indian borders of the Parthian waste lands.
Call it Babylon, Wicked Kingdom, or Holy Roman Empire; the Caesars are all of the same ilk. Whether Tsar, Kaiser, or Shah, the most insidious dictators are those who redefine the meanings of words and make them mean the opposite of what common sense dictates.
That SIR seems to be no exception to the rule is rather a cold comfort, as even its staunchest allies are well on the way to finding out. Just wait until the next elections are faked, fixed, or fiddled. Or the first polls are postponed then eventually cancelled in the name of democracy.
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