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I am still walking, but without you
Yasothera Balabaskara

My dearest aunt, I am now walking down a long path, but this time not holding your hand as we used to do when I was a kid, but down memory lane, recalling the lovely days I enjoyed with you and my dearest Uncle, and Shankari, Gajen and Rabin, your most precious children.

Can you remember the days my brother and I used to gather at your home and decorate the Christmas tree, pinning cards on the curtain and wrapping presents? You used to make us lovely puddings and sweets. You made a lovely dress of the same design for me and Shankari and gave me the one with the better hue! I recall the lovely books you used to read to us when we were young, and how you would question us and laugh at the funny answers we gave. Those were memorable days in Nugegoda, when life was easy and when we used to go for walks, especially during Vesak, admiring the beautiful lanterns and pandals. What a joyous time you shared with us.

The interesting plays we used to act together still linger in my mind. Your sense of creativity triumphed with a beautiful tail you made for Rabin, stuffing a sock when he acted as an animal. And then what about the Chinese checkers we played together! You always used to support me in any game, wishing me to win. These were the lovely childhood days we spent as one family.

When I was going to do my degree, you told me several times that I should pass with Honours. I achieved this, just as you had wished, obtaining a Class. I tried many a time to tell you this, whenever I visited you in your room, but you were already in the last lap of your final sleep that lasted many years. I was so keen to tell you this, my dearest aunt. However, God has allowed me to convey this news to you in this appreciation. How can I ever forget what you have done for us?

I still have a question, which I ask the Almighty in my prayers: Why do You make the good suffer? After much effort, I realised that we cannot in any way balance our books of accounts without taking into account the Brought-Forward Balance. We have to somehow use it in some way and credit it before we take the Carried Forward Balance to our next athma.

So, you are now on a long journey towards a beautiful destination. I am still walking, but without you. I hope to see you some day at the same destination, where we can share the rest of our jokes. My eyes are misty when I look up at the skies during my walk, but brighten to see the sunshine in your eyes, as you have ended all your pain and suffering and are now in happiness.

Your loving niece

Shivanthi

 
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