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30th August 1998

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Bananas and Cream

The Creme de la Creme of our Society Lasses steamed out recently in their special train for a fun day at a blue watering hole. Much of their pre and post prandial frolic centred round a banana game, the highlight of which was what best they could do with this succulent fruit.

The winner of one competition peeled and ate her banana with such excruciating delicacy, that one of the male Executive types present was heard to comment wistfully on what he would give for a brief inappropriate relationship.

And they were singing all the way back to Colombo the Afrique Simmons popular number "Gimme that Gimme that Banana.

DIG for hire

A leading Communications Agency in Sri Lanka, was given a demonstration of Dale Carnegie in reverse last Thursday.

The patriot Agency, situated in Barnes Place, was hit by a scud missile fired by a resident female employee of an Embassy that has just slammed Sudan and Afghanistan the other day. Some DIG of ours and she have made an odd couple and together they have now laid the ground rules for parking of the agency's vehicles down the cul de sac.

If 'diplomacy' is the art of saying and doing the nastiest things in the nicest way, this Ms. is certainly good for the first half of that! And DIGs for hire should be fired, me thinks.

Take away party

The green boys are in search of the green bucks, what with talk of elections very much in the air.

Their leaders are packing their bags to journey to Uncle Sam's to get our expats cough out the dollars.

But back home a Rs 1000/- a plate dinner was organised at a five star hotel this week by the newly set up Resources Committee for the Business Community.

Sixty eight turned up - 100 were expected 45 were invitees. It turned out to be a dead loss but organisers feel they can get their money back. The businessmen were given 50 cards (50X1000) to be sold to others as take aways.

Several leading UNP businessmen did not want to be so publicly identified. Many others who have already got themselves identified were not invited. Now it seems, the split in the UNP political wing has extended to its business wing as well.

To be wise

If the government's Daily Noise has changed its fourth editor in four years, the Presidential secretariat has fared no worse.

The President's Press Secretary has been sent to Siberia - or the 'Ice' corporation as they used to call it for giving gratuitous albeit wise advice.

He ventured to complain that the newly set up Press Club at Transworks House was a watering hole for all and sundry except the Press. That it was a dump of a joint in the heart of Fort which no pressman wanted to visit.

He was transferred forthwith. For he ought to have known the pub is run by a buddy of the Consultant and that ignorance is bliss and it's folly to be wise nowadays.

Jungle Telegraph

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