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19th July 1998

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Kenny's WorldKenny's World

All in the mind

Recently, I read a play written by a friend of mine that had a really cool concept. It was about a four-way conversation between two people and their minds. I had some difficulty grasping the concept at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I was intrigued by the possibilities. Imagine if your mind had a "mind" of its own and spoke out aloud whenever it felt like it.

People rarely speak their minds all the time. Although it is a rather spineless and chicken dung route, it's definitely the healthiest course of action in the long run. I'm not saying people should never say what they are thinking. But imagine if you had a mind that could talk, and did so whenever it felt like it? The possibilities for disaster are endless. Just imagine.

While taking his morning jog Bill Clinton is confronted by the media. "Did you have an affair with Monica Lewinsky?" they yell as the secret service makes sure they don't get too close. "No comment!" he yells back and keeps jogging. But Bill Clinton's mind, who fondly calls himself Willie, (From "William Jefferson Clinton) comes jogging along a few minutes later. The media shouts the same question at him.

Fancying himself to be somewhat of a brain, Willie decides to take on the media and give a little impromptu press conference of his own. "Ladies and gentlemen, I assure you that no impropriety ever took place between my body (Bill) and Ms Lewinsky. Bill would deny these allegations himself if not for a rather delicate situation he's gone and got us into. You see, before all this trouble started he had bragged to his golfing buddies that he was having an affair with Ms Lewinsky. It was a lie of course. After all, we know how guys like to brag about these things. Anyway, as you can see Bill is keeping his mouth shut because he can't decide which is worse letting the world think that he's a skirt chaser, or admitting to his golfing buddies that a White House intern wouldn't give him the time of day"

But forget US presidents, imagine how difficult talking minds would be on the ordinary teenage relationship. Let's say Dave and Sonali have been going out since February. They decide to meet up for a date at a movie. The movie, "Hemorrhoids from the deep" starts at 4:00 PM. Dave arrives at the cinema early with his mind "David" in tow. Sonali has not yet arrived, and they decide to wait for her in the lobby. David comes and sits next to Dave, "So you think she'll show up?" he asks. "Of course she will," Dave replies rather startled by the question. Afraid that David would start to put ideas into his head he decides to add a, "Shut up David" for good measure. Just to show David how confident he is that she will show up, he buys two tickets. David buys his own.

4:00 PM comes and goes. Still no Sonali. Dave is getting worried. David is pacing up and down, "She's not coming. Lets go in, we're gonna miss the show." "You go," says Dave "I'm waiting." Just then Sonali bursts in looking very red in the face. David is indignant "Where have you been?" "I'm sorry I'm late, we got held up in traffic." "No we didn't," says "Sona", Sonali's mind, following her in. "Actually, she had a bet with me to see if you'd wait for her." "Well I did wait for you. And it was worth it you look great" says Dave. "She spent hours trying to decide which colour lipstick to wear," says Sona. "This bright red looks great on you," says Dave. "You look like a tart," says David.

"How can you say that to me Dave, after everything?" cries Sonali dramatically. Dave tries to calm her down. "I didn't say anything it was David." "Well he's your mind isn't he? You were thinking it although you didn't say it. At least he has the guts to say what he thinks." "I told you he was a loser," says Sona chipping in. "So you think I'm a loser do you?" Dave asks Sonali. "I didn't say that." "No, but you were thinking it."

"So fine I was thinking it. Sue me." "I'll do better than that" says Dave and storms out of the Cinema. Sonali watches him leave as if she's not quite sure what just happened. When it does suddenly hit her she rushes off to the bathroom with great drama. David watches her go, and then walks up to the seat where Sona is doing her nails, and sits down. "So do you come here often?"


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