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The Fifth Column

5th April 1998

Steroid test for politicos

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My Dear Wije,

I thought of writing to you when I heard that the greens had wanted the Leader to decide your fate next week.

Now, Wije I think we all agree with one thing - you were the unlucky one that couldn't get away. Of the three of you who were charged, Chandra is no more; Paskey is living it up in England - and will no doubt return some day - but you got caught.

As to what happened, well, if they were willing to give you good land at four rupees a perch, why should you refuse? And, you were not the only one who benefited, were you?

And being the good chap that you are, you went before the Commission and said that if they thought it was wrong, you were willing to give it all back. Can you be more reasonable than that?

I know Wije, the saddest part is not what they are doing to you but what your own fellows are trying to do to you.

Do you remember what your chaps did to the Old Lady? Then, when the Blues brought a motion in the House pardoning her - rather, saying she was never guilty - what did your chaps do? They abstained, in deference to Anura B. But now, when the Blues are tightening the screws on you, what do they do - they want you out, so they can keep their "reputation"!

Therefore, Wije, I think you should fight the good fight, even if you have to go. We all know it doesn't need a Commission to decide whether buying land at four rupees a perch is wrong, but the law should be equal, isn't it? Then, all those who did that should be punished, you can argue.

Then, Wije, you can remind your Leader how he was a 'Podiyen' in seventy seven and you were a minister, even then. Then, when Preme appointed him as Leader of the House over you, you never complained but remained loyal to the Party. Of course, you can also remind him that you lost your son too, trying to be of service to the Party.

But one thing is certain, Wije. Next time around, when the Blues go out and the Greens get in, there will be so many commissions probing so many issues that the Blues did, while they were in power. Remember, the political legacies of the Old Fox are always hard to discard! Even Satellite has realised that now.

By the way, Wije, if the Leader asks you to go just ask him one question what happens if the Batalanda probe finds him guilty of some thing? Will he too resign?

Yours truly
Punchi Putha

PS - It's a pity that they have this civic rights business to disqualify politicians, isn't it, Wije? Instead they should have steroid testing for politicians. That way, if you want to disqualify someone, it is not this difficult.

All you do is slip in some steroids to somebody's urine, and that does the trick. You know what I mean, don't you? If you don't, ask you-know-who!

Rajpal Abeynayake's Column

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