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Space for thought

As part of a 16 day campaign to create awareness on gender based violence the Women and Media Collective set up a blog which served as a platform for an interesting exchange of views.

Moving stories—some real and some fictional, evoking poetry, powerful photography, an informative video and opinions, are what the Women and Media Collective (WMC) generated by their 16 days of online activism against gender based violence (GBV) campaign.

Participating in the 16 day activism against GBV by Rutgers, which extends from November 25 (International Day Against Violence Against Women) to December 10 (International Human Rights Day), WMC set up a blog hosting contributions that crossed a range of mediums. The following are excerpts from the blog

They tell me you’ve been listening to women’s problems (True story)

“They tell me you’ve been listening to women’s problems.” She repeats anxiously. I nod. “Don’t write down my name. Don’t tell anyone.”

Now, I am intrigued but am unsure as to what she thinks my role is. “When he drinks he changes. He breaks my head, my arms and legs. When he leaves, he is fine but when he comes back… I have taken on all the responsibilities of the man of the house. My four children work as domestic helpers in Colombo. You must do something to stop the sale of alcohol in the lines.”

I am bewildered. She plucks at the hedge we are standing against, crushing the leaves between her green-stained fingers. A nervous memory that rests only in her hands after the hours spent plucking kolanda (tea leaf).

“Will you tell them about how the women here suffer? Please do not write my name. Women suffer in the field and the house. We do not even have the freedom to eat. There are other women selling alcohol in the lines, they do not see our pain. If they do not sell alcohol in the lines, our men will not
drink. They will not go into Tientsin to buy alcohol because they are afraid of the police. Can you bring the police?”—by Vindi

Skin and Bones

If I say ‘Violence’
You expect big revelations
Bloody bruises
And black eyes
A chipped tooth
A dislocated jaw
or tell-tale scars
You want the evidence
of a crime scene
blood on the dancefloor
smears on the bedroom sheets
Broken plates on the kitchenfloor
But she has none of that to display
Only a corpse buried inside
A momentary plea in her eyes
Now you see it, now you don’t
He never touched her skin and bones.—by Dilly

The Illusionist (Short story)

Her name was Maya. She was a makeup artist. It didn’t start out as a hobby. It started as a way of making her mother feel better. When she had asked Maya to apply foundation over the deep red welts on her back, she obliged. As the years passed, they grew-welts, bruises and sometimes even cuts- and
so did Maya’s ability to cover them up successfully. She would figure out how to achieve exactly the right shade to make the marks disappear, the right way to brighten up anguished eyes, and lift a drooping mouth.

She never understood why her mother tolerated all that abuse from a man, why she continued to love him. But what she couldn’t repair inside, she fixed outside. Today she was famous for her talent, sought after. And when they asked her about how she got there, she would truthfully answer “My mother encouraged me”. – by Thushanthi de Silva Women Are People Too (An opinion)

While domestic violence is a huge problem for the women in Sri Lanka, it is not the only way in which they experience gender-based violence. Sri Lanka needs to recognise marital rape. Sri Lanka needs to allow safe, legal abortions at least for women who have been raped or subject to incest. Currently, the law does not permit this. Victims of rape and incest are victimised again, by draconian laws that are several centuries old. Women make up the majority in the industries that bring in the most foreign remittances.

While policymakers are quick to crow about the money coming in, they seem to take for granted the safety and well being of the workers, especially the women, who are going out. Everyday we hear of women who have been beaten, raped and abused, who make the headlines for a day and then get buried with the rest of the old stories. Instead, we have policy makers who propose we double the amount of people we send out, so that we can make more money, without proposing any safeguards to protect those who go out.– by PP

GG writes about a friend’s experience (True story)

Last year, someone known to me was flickering with ebullience and oomph that she was going to get married. She was gracious enough to let my eyes run through her gifts of velvet cased jewellery and other apple polished frilly elegance. She also told me the guy was 23, fluent in his English because she wasn’t and hadn’t asked anything in terms of dowry from her. I understood, she was happy at this prospect.

Then when she handed her invitation card, I took it. Read it. And splashed a smile in order to be nice. As I was holding the card, I shrunk in fear. Was she doing the right thing? Is she going to come through and get better without any sort of academic hand to surrogate if she fell? She was only 18 after all, stopped by 8th grade but a brilliant student during those 7 years. She maybe in her magical thoughts, but what I knew was that she would only smile into her character and pat my back saying that I was thinking way too far like she had always done if I had brought these questions out to life.— by Gadget Girl

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