Columns - Double Take

Mrs. Anumaana has a problem with New Year resolutions

Mrs. Anumaana was never one to take New Year resolutions seriously – either her own or those of other people. But this year Sunil’s resolution has been a cause of some concern to her. It is not so much his resolution as his reasons for setting his sights on his chosen goal that have led to her misgivings. He has resolved once again that his career goal is to become a Member of Parliament.

Sunil has been talking much about contesting the upcoming local government elections with a view to making an entry into national politics. But this talk has been of the most superficial kind. His real interest up to now has been most intensely focused on just one object – that of procuring a duty free vehicle permit for himself at the first opportunity. Sunil has now fast-forwarded to the most agonizing decision of his life – should he go for a Land Cruiser Prado with CD, DVD, Bluetooth, TV, 3-way camera, leather seats and sun roof, or should he consider the latest model full option Pajero?

Sunil says that already at least six of his friends are waiting in line with offers to purchase the duty free permit off him, once he gets it. Now this has posed a new dilemma. Should he go for the vehicle of his dreams, or make a killing by accepting the highest bid for the permit from among his friends? Many a sleepless night has he spent of late, weighing the pros and cons of the options that will fall open to him once he becomes an MP.

Not that Sunil is entirely selfish in his goals. He has many plans for the betterment of the nation and its economy. For instance in keeping with the latest trend of importing exotic beasts he intends to make a proposal for the import of Polar Bears.

He says the bears would be housed in a special Polar Bear Park set up with imported snow and ice, and would serve to attract more tourists from the Arctic. Another proposal is to import giraffes and rhinos to make African tourists feel more at home and perhaps some duck-billed platypuses to encourage the Aussies.

Sunil intends to secure a cabinet post soon after becoming an MP. This would not pose any difficulty he says since most MPs in this government end up with portfolios of one kind or another. If they cannot think of one for him, he will invent one. One way or another he says he will make sure he gets a ministry with a lot of “potential” – whatever that means.

Sunil can’t understand why his mother is so negative about his innovative ideas. She had rolled her eyes in horror and left the room in a huff when he mentioned his plan to appoint her as his Personal Assistant, once he became a Minister.

This was only so that she could accompany him on his foreign travels at state expense, he explained. Sunil just couldn’t understand his mother’s moods at times. Why did she have to go ballistic at this suggestion? After all he was only trying to be nice to her.

What with Sunil’s ambitious schemes for 2011, the subject of New Year Resolutions has become a somewhat explosive topic in Mrs. Anumaana’s house. Most visitors have found it safer to avoid this area of conversation and just have a piece of kiribath, wish them a ‘Happy New Year’ and depart.

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