Columns - 5thcolumn

Look for the right one-who’ll keep your promises
By Rypvanwinkle

My Dear Southern Voter,

I thought I must write to you because the attention of the entire country will be focused on you next week, especially about what you will decide next Saturday, although most seem to think the result is a foregone conclusion.

I really don’t know, dear voter, why people are so interested in an election that elects representatives for a council that may not last for long if the so-called ‘political reforms’ that everyone is talking about so eagerly are implemented soon.

But I know you don’t mind because everybody who is somebody is literally at your doorstep these days promising to make the South the most prosperous region in the country and offering thousands of jobs to anyone who needs one.

But, dear voter, even without any of these promises I am sure you would welcome the elections because it has provided you with plenty of entertainment by actresses who speak with an accent and ‘bad guys’ who go about bad mouthing everyone including even Mahinda maama!

Why, with that Muthu chap around and the manner in which he speaks his heart out taking swipes at Mahinda maama’s security personnel, one wonders whether Dr. Mervyn will soon lose his job as the court jester...

Then there are presidential advisors who have suddenly landed in the South after failing to take off with an airline and also the local boys who have been holding the fort for many years who are furious at this invasion of political parachutists. You, dear voter, are certainly spoilt for choice!

Now we are told, dear voter, not about winning, which the Blues seem to have taken for granted, but all that is left to be seen is what percentage of the vote they will get. Why, some are even suggesting they will get a record ninety per cent at Hambantota, Mahinda maama’s home base.

I am sure you must be wondering why these percentages are so important when it does not really matter. I am told they are important because Mahinda maama has his eye on the big elections due next year and he wants to get re-elected as soon as possible. Now, in that contest, percentages do matter because he escaped with the thinnest of margins four years ago!

Then there is also the tussle to become the chief minister with everyone saying ‘mamai maha amathi’. If I were you, dear voter, I wouldn’t get too excited by all these claims because we saw what happened in the Western province where a dark horse and a fair body builder vied for the post and the job went to Captain Cool’s brother who was not even considered to be in the running.

But dear voter, spare a thought for the others in the contest, as well. The Greens have been beaten fair and square in all the provinces they have contested and are now resting their hopes on forming a grand alliance.

Through all this, Uncle Ranil has managed to grin and bear it and they should be given some consideration, not because they really deserve it but because any country deserves a strong Opposition just as much it deserves a strong Government.

Then there are the Reds who are really fighting for survival. After all, the south was once their stronghold but now they don’t seem to be able to muster even a five per cent slice of the vote. But of course, one must admire them for they are never short of slogans, protests or demands-they are only always short of votes!
As you can see, dear voter, although you have a wide choice before you, I can’t see you gaining much through this election.

That is because you have to choose between a bunch of hooligans who are fighting among one another, another bunch who cannot manage even that and yet another lot of humbugs who only talk big! So, you will surely have a hard time deciding whom to vote for...

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS-Dear voter, if you have decided to cast your vote based on the promises that are made these days, I would advise you to check with the people of Uva because they too went through a similar experience recently-and it would be interesting to find out how many of those promises have been kept!.

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