Columns - 5thcolumn

He seems to accomplish nothing but headlines!
By Rypvanwinkle

My dear Avamangala,

I thought I must write to you since you had also written to all members of the blue party alleging that there was a huge conspiracy within the party. Quite frankly, Avamangala, apart from getting you a few headlines the following day, I cannot imagine what you would achieve by all this.

You had said the blue camp was now made up of racists, political opportunists and other undesirables and it was veering away from the ideals of its founder.

Considering some of the people who have now joined the blues-and their alliance-I would tend to agree with that to some extent, but I am sure there would be those who would want to ask you whether you too are a political opportunist!

We can remember how you sided with Satellite in those glorious days when she was having a running battle with her brother the Crown Prince for the leadership of the blue party after Queen Bee. And isn’t it strange that in that little battle, Mahinda maama was firmly with Crown Prince?

Then, when Satellite became all powerful you were her mouthpiece on more than one issue. Why, you held all those important portfolios such as Ports and Aviation, Posts and Telecommunications and even the Media ministry.

Then, when the tide was turning we saw you slyly change your loyalties from Satellite to Mahinda maama. That was when Crown Prince-bless his soul-was aspiring to become the contender for the battle with the Green Man. Needless to say, your intuition was correct and Mahinda maama won the contest-and not without a little help from you, because you were instrumental in getting the Tigers to organise that boycott in the areas they then dominated.

It was thereafter that it all started to go wrong for you, Avamangala. You thought Mahinda maama would run into disaster after disaster and got together with Crown Prince and Sripathi and staged a little rebellion of your own.

Unfortunately for you, both Crown Prince and Sripathi are no more and we are all left wondering whether you are the only member of the party you claim to have formed.

And that is why we are intrigued by the fact the Green Man so desperately wants you to partner him in this so-called grand alliance that is supposed to contest Mahinda maama and his blue camp. Even more surprising is the fact that some of them are even willing to sacrifice the elephant symbol, just so they can have you with them!

We do know that you command a few votes in Matara but we are not so sure how popular you are outside that region, Avamangala. And that is why a section of the green party is furious with the Green Man for trying to accommodate you.

Considering all this, my advice to you would be to let bygones be bygones and mend your fences with Mahinda maama before the animosity becomes too much for you to return to the blue camp. After all, being the political animal that you are, you would agree that right now, the Greens don’t have much of a chance of returning to power while Mahinda maama is being hailed by former greens-no less-as the king for the next so many years!

Who knows, you may even get a cabinet portfolio-you certainly qualify more than the alleged murderers in charge of Cultural Affairs or goons in charge of the labouring types!

Think about all this, will you Avamangala, before you make your next move? And while you do so, make sure that Seeni Bola is not on the same side-he has now set his sights on being the next Green leader, and you wouldn’t want to get in the way, would you?

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha

PS- I must also tell you, Avamangala, how hilarious it is to see you now championing the cause of democracy and media freedom. Our memories may be short but we do vividly remember how you cast disparaging remarks at being able to buy over scribes ‘with a bottle’ and how you helped Satellite in her crusade for criminal defamation!

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