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Bonding upheaval in the making
Spotlight on Lankan project at global conference on sexualities in South Asia
B.R. Srikanth
Tiger Thackeray and his Shiv Sainiks would certainly not be pleased with this one. Nor would they be able to stub out the girl and girl or boy and boy items - like they did Girlfriend - that are slowly happening and growing in far-flung villages and tribal settlements in India.

A global conference on "Sexualities, Masculinities and Cultures in South Asia" has thrown up amazing truths on same-sex relationships burgeoning far and away from urban upper and middle-class areas usually thought to be the breeding bowl of such bonding.

Health experts, sexologists, activists and psychologists who participated in the conference said such relationships defied barriers of custom and caste and breached the perception that the influence of western cultures was the root of such bonding.

"I have interacted with and identified a number of women with hidden relationships in Rajasthan, Madhya Pradesh, Uttar Pradesh, Jharkhand, Gujarat and Delhi. These are relationships that cut across communities and income groups in rural areas," said Maya Sharma, an activist who has researched on working-class lesbian women.

"In one case, a Muslim woman got her partner married to her brother so that they could continue the relationship. In another case, the partners moved to different towns but that did not affect their bonding."

Sharma said the phenomenon was catching on so rapidly that soon there could be activism for same-sex relationship rights even in remote rural areas. Such bonding was a sign of rebellion against patriarchal society and oppression of women, she said. "For many women, the friendship goes beyond sex."

Sharma's research effort was for Maanjal, a society for empowerment of women in Noida, and Vikalp, another organisation in Baroda. Of late, she has been associated with Parma, a body for single women.

"Through the group, our effort has been to identify and reach out to rural and tribal lesbian women (in Gujarat). Our group has been meeting the women individually to break their silence.

"Our long-term objective is to turn this into an activism for same sex relationships with a demand for payment of medical allowances for our partners as well as the right to share of property and insurance claims," she said.

The conference, which brought together experts from countries like Canada, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka, discussed relationships involving the "LGBT" (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) community and related issues like stigma and discrimination, queer activism, health care and media depiction.

In Bangladesh, where religion does not provide room for such bonding, several NGOs have been working for sex workers, male sex workers, men who have sex with men (MSM) and transexuals.

"We have one called Bandhu that deals only with MSM cases. We have recognised the LGBT factor as part of our efforts to contain the number of cases of HIV in our country," said Nazrul Haque, programme manager, Bangladesh Centre for Communication Programmes, Dhaka.

Haque said adolescents, who constitute 25 per cent of the population, did not as much as mention such relationships during an adolescent reproductive health programme. Either fear of religion or lack of knowledge could have held them back, he said.

In Sri Lanka, the Women's Support Group, Colombo, has organised workshops on sexual rights and sexual health for rural women. It has supported transexuals through legal aid, mental health services, employment and living arrangements, according to "The Clotheslines Project", a paper sent by Roshani Wijewardene to the conference.

Douglas Sanders, professor emeritus at the University of British Columbia, Canada, and professor (International Business Law) at Chulalongkorn University, Bangkok, Thailand, said activists for alternative sexuality and transexuals in Asia had a long road ahead.

Speaking on "How Queer will Asia be", he said: "I have identified some longstanding differences that will not go away for a long time (in Asia). The attitude towards transgenders is very different here than in the West.

"It is not only economic development, but cultural differences will hold back the transformation. All societies must understand that they (lesbian/gay legitimacy) exist and not see them as a pathological condition."

Same sex marriages have been legalised in the Netherlands, Belgium, three provinces (British Columbia, Quebec and Ontario) of Canada and Massachusetts in the US. In Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, France, Germany and Hawaii, such partnerships are legal, Sanders said.

- Courtesy Telegraph, Calcutta, India

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