Blame Game will Steal Your Beauty Today
View(s):Every time I failed in life, I habitually blamed my mother for leaving me. Similarly, whilst I was suffering in prison camps and drug rehabilitation centres, I constantly blamed my friends for offerings me drugs. Furthermore, every time I attempted to escape life, I took a turn to blame the society for its unjust. The wealthy and powerful politicians bring down heroin and live lavishly out of it.
Yet, the poor youngsters and their parents suffer to the depth due to this drug menace. Similarly, every time I was treated as a mentally ill person at the hospitals, I made it a habit to blame my ex-girlfriend for leaving me, whereas, I believed that she should have not left me when I was at my lowest.
Blaming others or playing the blame game about my failures was a temporary pain killer that I used to take on every time I failed or I was rejected, ill-treated, cursed or isolated. I was not aware that what I was doing further worsened my wound as I was scratching it with my blame game rather than attempting to overcome from the low start I was in. I also realised that there are a countless number of youth who are orphans, yet they do not even chew a piece of betel, even though their childhood has been miserable.
I have also realised that almost all successful personalities have had extremely bitter histories yet they have never chosen to blame their past nor their parents like I used to. Instead, they have fought hard in the present to transform their past wounds, thereby they have reinvented for the future. I was not moving an inch forward, I was rather moving backwards whilst I was blaming others in order to justify failures. The more I played the blame game, the more disastrous the wounds of my life became, it worsened as I was not treating it, I was rather arousing it more and more.
Just as all successful people have bounced back courageously at times of trial, one blessed day I realised that I was responsible for my failures and that no one ought to be blamed for them except myself.
If all the children whose mothers have left them are not consuming drugs, then it is not my mom who has to be blamed for my addiction, I am responsible for myself.
There are so many successful people who are highly contributive towards the world amidst the corruptive and selfish system. Then it is clear that the society is not to blame and it is only thyself who has to take responsibility for thy own failure. When there are people who have lived with worse friends than mine, but do not even smoke a cigarette, then it is not the friend who is to be blamed for my wrong decisions but purely myself.
I am so glad that I was brought into my conscience and that I realised the truth. Unless, up to date I would have been begging on the streets blaming others for my stupidity and the unwise decisions I have taken in my youth, purely due to my overconfidence, blindness, arrogance, ego and pride.
When a person is in the blame game he becomes entirely blind to self realisation. When you are blinded towards yourself you would not be able to see your own wounds that need to be treated. When you do not give your mind the treatment or ought to have been given, you are further becoming mentally ill and heading towards depression, just exactly how it happened to me. That is the reason why spending time with yourself is highly important so that you will be able to understand who you are and what treatment you need, so that you can live a successful life.
I never attempted to listen to the advice I was given by my parents, elders and teachers as though I knew better than them. Instead of realising who I was through them, I began finding faults of those who advised me. Just as we pay a visit to the doctor to analyse the condition of our physical body, we ought to consider the advice of the wise as a diagnostic tool that reveals our inner selves.
Excuse orientation or the blame game prevents us from implementing strategies for the future, as we become so busy in justifying our failures rather than deploying an action plan for the future.
What we need is a plan that can be implemented and not a blaming self justification. There are victorious women who have been severely abused during their childhood.
What do you think would happen if they continued blaming those who have abused them rather than moving forward with their own lives? There is a world renown social activist who had been sexually abused by her own father.
Further after her marriage her husband left her while she was pregnant and married their neighbour pushing her into complete darkness. Instead of stagnating in the misery of blaming her dad or her husband, today, she lives a beautiful family life with high yielding children who serve many across the world. You will never reap the fruit by blaming the wild elephant who destroyed your plantation. You can continue to complain, blame, murmur and grumble until the next season, but you will never reap a single fruit from a farm that has been destroyed.
The next worst thing about holding onto a blaming DNA is that it prevents you from seeing the beautiful prospects of life as you have already turned yourself into the ugly side of life. If you wore a pair of blue glasses, everything you see will look blue. Just as a trained cop dog always runs after drugs, your mind will crave for excuses as that is what you have trained your mind over a period of time. When I face challenges, I make it a point to weigh the blessings I have received in my life on one side, and on the other side I weigh my challenges. That makes me realise that seeing the beauty of the rose is far more important and beautiful than complaining about its thorns. It is high time that we recalibrate our perspective in life.
The moment I shifted my perspective on my past, releasing my greatest enemy was none other than my own self.
Henceforth, life became extremely productive and I began to climb greater heights. Even today, I am very keen on finding out the areas that I need to improve. The more I work on myself the more productive I become. It is similar to how you prune a tree and treat them towards further growth. Furthermore, the people who complain do not live in the present.
They are either worried about the past or fear the future. Every time someone complains about a bad experience then that person is investing his or her full energy in the past.
They are completely ignoring living in the present. The moment you ignore living in the present, then that present joins the past as yet another unproductive yesterday.
Many unproductive yesterday’s will again create many fearful tomorrows. Therefore, constantly cultivate in your garden of life today.
The blame game will only steal your beauty today. It is indeed sad to see the number of children who are always so negative due to the DNA of complaining that has been passed down by their parents.
I am sure you do not want your children to suffer just because of your patter of thinking. What would happen to a person who ignores visiting the hospital to treat his wound that was caused by an accident and keeps on arguing with other parties just to justify who is right and who is wrong whilst he is bleeding to death. This is exactly the state of mind of the people who opt to complain about everything in life. I am wholeheartedly in agreement that we should bring certain things into notice of the world for the betterment of others as a justification of the hard earned money we have invested on a product or a service. It is your duty to bring to the notice of the toothbrush manufacturer that the toothbrush is of poor quality, yet you must continue to brush your teeth, if not it is not the toothbrush manufacturer’s teeth which will have cavities but yours.
For comments: philipnehri@chandanalepa.lk /
phone – 0779 526 496
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