Appreciations
View(s):Farida Rahim
Breathe easy now mum, don’t worry we’ll be fine
A year has gone by since my mum Farida Rahim bade final farewell. In retrospect, she was always there for me and my brothers. As a mother she always took her role very seriously and never wavered, come what may.
As the saying goes “Life breaks everyone, but some people heal stronger in the breaks.” My mother was one of those people who healed stronger in the breaks. Despite many obstacles which included lengthy bouts of illness, she bounced back repeatedly. With such experiences behind her, she inculcated in us – her children – “never to give up” which has helped me and my brothers to achieve our own successes and be where we are today.
I believe my vocabulary of superlatives in describing her falls far short of what it should. She was generous, kind, loving, sweet, caring, honest, elegant, strong, resilient, thoughtful, hopeful, selfless. For sure, she possessed all these qualities and more. Throughout her life she took time off to help people who needed it despite having so little herself. There were times we had several other people living in our home with us for months at a time.
Mum was a petite woman, but there is nothing small about her legacy, or the impact she had on others. It is a strong, beautiful, vibrant, legacy. Despite dad’s stern but gentle ways, she gave us the freedom and space to do things that would make us happy. Thank you mum as it meant a lot to me. Thank you for making our humble home beautiful in every way. Thank you for shielding me from dear dad when I was upto all types of mischief in my younger days. Thank you for pushing me through school even though many did give me little chance of success. Thank you for teaching me how to be compassionate.
Mum, you were our rock, our anchor, and our true North.
Be carefree now mum as you never could be in life. Breathe easy finally. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine as I am sure you will be keeping an eye on us as always – even now, from your heavenly abode above. Say hello to dad and Hussain. As a truly religious person, I am sure you have Allah’s blessings in Jannah.
- Branu Rahim
Padma Maharaja
The perfect host in good times and bad
It’s almost three months now since she departed from our company. And how she is missed by all, be it at a social gathering or otherwise, her presence cannot be filled or duplicated. Always the epitome of elegance, Padma made a statement wherever she went.
I was as close to her as were her other closely knit friends, and in her was a caring, concerned human being always checking on me as to how I was doing, and that I should move closer in to Colombo, do better and more useful things with my retirement and so on. It is just unbelievable to even think she isn’t amongst us. I had the privilege of seeing her in hospital before I left on vacation to the United States and I pleaded with her to fight back as she always did on her previous visits to the hospital. But this time round, she was beyond exhaustion.
As I embarked on my flight on July 18, I received the dreaded text messages informing me of her passing, and I literally cried all the way through till I reached my destination. I thought she would fight back once again though in my heart, I knew she had given up.
Padma as many would endorse was the perfect host to anyone who walked into her gracious home. Here she was after returning from hospital and treating her visitors who came to see her with freshly fried Ulundu vade, patties, cutlets, a choice of fresh juices and the list goes on. That’s the way she was. How many special impromptu dinners and lunches would she organise and invite us over for when a mutual friend arrived in the country? Her January 1st brunches were eagerly looked forward to and what a way to start the year…she spared nothing. From an elegantly set table, a lazy Susan that had all the typical Jaffna yummy dishes both vegetarian and non-vegetarian, and a delightful sweet treats corner in addition to her own kulfi ice cream which she did to perfection.
Her clothes store had the most beautiful handpicked items to gloat over, purchase, or simply try on! Semi-precious jewellery was her latest line and she loved pursuing this as it just up her street as she admired beautiful jewellery and only came out with the best.
If we were sick, she would somehow advise us to go see the right doctor or what to do next. She opened her doors to me when I was in Colombo doing my run-arounds and I was able to shower there and probably accompany her if we were going to the same function somewhere. As I walked in she would order me my favourite cup of strong tea with hot milk and no sugar and call for Daya to make it for me. Of course it came accompanied with a piece of cake which I would refuse most times!
So that was Padma to us, gracious as always. I miss her calls “Yassie – can you talk now?” Be it early morning or at night. I really do.My apologies to Shobhana whom I constantly bothered for updates as Padma’s condition worsened…because she was the one always around all day and all night. I pray her children, grandchildren, loved ones and siblings will stay brave and strong and carry on the legacy she left behind. You are indeed dearly missed Padma.
- Yasmin Cader
CHRISANTHA ARSECULERATNE
I write to heal the void I feel
My brother Chrisantha crossed the great divide exactly a week short of his 67th birthday, on September 17, 2013. He lived a life which, in the minds of those who knew him closely, justifies what Mark Twain said: “Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry”.
Though he was two years older to me, for all practical purposes he treated me as the elder, even during our childhood. This was strengthened when after our father’s death, I found employment at a very young age. In two years he joined me at work at the same office. As a young man, he loved life and fun. He enjoyed rugby matches, attending dances and an occasional drink and smoke with friends.
Even when he decided to tie the ‘knot’, it was to me he said “Malli, find me a good Christian girl”. And as in all things, I carried out this assignment too. I share with his loving wife and adoring children their grief.
In the early 1970s his life went through many changes. First, the company he worked closed operations due to labour unrest and he joined the unemployed. By then I had left this company and joined a bank. Up to this time he was not a very religious type, he rarely attended Sunday Mass. The greatest and most remarkable change in him occurred when he met Dr. Arul Anketell who was then working at Aniyakanda Hospital, Kandana. He struck a strong and lasting friendship with this doctor, who himself was a very young man at that time. I remember Dr. Anketell with fond memories and gratitude for the great spiritual change his association brought about in the lives of my brother and my mother.
My brother became a totally a different man thence. His fun activities of rugby, dancing and drinking dropped. These were replaced with Bible reading, prayer times, privately and in groups. This totally changed man lived so until his death. Death is not the greatest loss in life, the greatest loss in life is what dies in us like compassion, integrity, brotherliness, charity, kindness etc., when we are yet alive. We, his loved ones and friends are comforted that Chris’ life manifested these qualities until his death. Life ends in death in diverse ways, but it is how one lived that truly distinguishes one man from the other.
Words are hard to describe my feeling, I have always been better with images.Yet writing down how much I miss my brother, seems to give me more tranquility.
What I write in this appreciation does nothing at all for my brother – who is in a place where earthly accolades are meaningless – it’s meant to spur the rest of us on to lead better lives and to console ourselves.
- Nihal Arseculeratne
Dagmar Lavinia Attygalle
Thank you for all that you were to us
Dagmar Lavinia Attygalle – was Veena to her family but Daggie to all of us at Newstead College, Negombo.
Daggie, I felt I had to pen a few lines about you, because you were so special to our family.
It was only a short time after our family got to know you that we lost our father. And at that time you became an Akka to my four brothers and me.
Daggie spent that Sunday with us and my father took her back to the hostel and proceeded to the Negombo esplanade to witness an exciting football match, where two of my brothers were playing. In the midst of the match, my father suffered a heart attack.
Daggie joined the Newstead staff as a Home Science teacher. She had been to England on a Scholarship, then had completed her training at the farm school for girls in Kundasale.
Daggie you fitted in not only into our family, but Newstead as well. Although you were a devout Buddhist you were a Christian at heart, maybe because you had your education at Ferguson High School, in Ratnapura. You loved music and singing and so you found yourself singing Christmas Carols, as a choir member at the Methodist Church, Negombo.
Daggie was involved not only in her teaching, but was a House Mistress, Guide Mistress and ending up as a Girl Guide Commissioner. She was highly respected and much loved by the students of Newstead.
She left Newstead and joined the Department of Agriculture and served as the Principal of the Walpita Farm School and retired from Bindunuwewa.
I remember even at my engagement she was there like my Loku Akka attending to a lot of work. When I had my first-born too she was by my side.
At the weddings of my son and daughter, she was there and was a Grand-Aunt to my grand-children.
It was only a day before her passing that a group of past pupils of Newstead called on me and we were talking about Daggie.
Daggie dear, thank you for all that you were to our family. Good-bye till we meet on that golden shore.
- Lucky Mawala nee de Silva
CHINTHANA JAGATH ABEYDEERA
The livewire among friends and family
It is with deep sorrow that I pen these words after the sudden death of my nephew Chinthana Jagath Abeydeera who had just completed half-century in the game of life and left us suddenly on that fateful day (July 31, 2016) leaving a big vacuum among our relations and his friends.
Chinthana was born to the late Piyadasa Abeydeera (PM – Naotunna – a devout Buddhist) and Daisy Samarawickrema (Matron, Co-operative Hospital Matara) of Walpala in 1965 on December 8. After completing his studies at Rahula College, Matara he joined Speedmark Transportation Ltd. in 1988 as an executive and worked there until his death.
Chinthana met with a serious road accident in 1998. There he lost one of his best friends and he had been rushed to the National Hospital, Colombo. After two weeks thanks to the medical team and their great dedication he recovered. It was a miracle.
He was a livewire among the family and his friends. He used to spend his leisure with his friends and relations. He was always concerned about his wife Asitha, daughter Sanduni and son Ravindu. He was also concerned about his only sister Dilupa and visited her often. He had a good set of friends around him at the office and neighbourhood as well and he was truly proud of them as they were true and genuine. I personally know how devotedly all of them looked after him during the period of his last battle.
He enjoyed his job at Speed mark Transportation Ltd working for 28 years with genuine commitment. He was loved by his office mates and was known for his ability to organise their get-togethers, picnics, parties and any office events.
He was a loving, caring husband and father to two children, and wonderful brother, nephew, cousin and a faithful friend to all his friends & colleagues.
Chinthana, may your journey through sansara be short until you reach supreme blissful Nibbana.
- Uncle – Richard Abeydeera
Gajaba Perera Gunawardena
Despite his busy schedule Gajaba always had time for his alma mater
It is nearly six months since Gajaba Gunawardena died of a sudden heart attack. It was usual for me to call Gajaba mostly in the mornings and discuss matters of mutual interest. Gajaba was the senior vice president of St. Servatius College, Matara, O.B.A Colombo Branch and I was a past president and patron of the O.B.A. Talking with Gajaba was always stimulating as he possessed a vast knowledge on a multitude of subjects.
After his initial studies at St. Servatius College, Matara, Gajaba entered the University of Sri Jayewardenepura to follow a degree course in public administration. He was very active in the student union at the university and was the secretary.
After graduating he worked as a Sub-Editor of Attha newspapers and later worked for the World University Service. A thirst for excelling in academic studies saw Gajaba enrolling for a MSc in Management learning at the University of Lancaster U.K. After completing his post graduate studies he joined the N.I.B.M. where he was a popular and versatile lecturer. He was also a lecturer for the M.B.A. programme at the University of Colombo. Leaving the N.I.B.M. after nearly six years Gajaba found employment as a consultant for the fisheries sector development project and later worked as a consultant to the Road Development Authority. He was also a consultant to the Chinese funded Port City Project.
Gajaba was headhunted by many professional training institutes and was a popular trainer at Mcquire Wren and Jones Training Institute.
Despite his busy schedule Gajaba had time to help his alma mater. He never failed to attend the O.B.A. committee meetings where he would recall his student days where he generously hosted his school mates at his sprawling ancestral residence adjoining the Polhena Beach in Matara.
Gajaba was a loving and caring husband to his wife Indrani who retired as the director of the Ministry of Agriculture and Livestock Development.
Their young daughter Harini a student at the Centre for Professional Studies looked upto her father as a role model.
May you attain the Supreme Bliss of Nibbana!
- Padmasiri De Silva
Daya Abeywickrema
He took the message of family planning far and wide
Morawak Korale, in the distant past, was known as a typical rural plantation area, deep in the South. A clan of descendants known as Abeywickremas, with a reputed literary laureate named Simon Abeywickrema being one of its chiefs, in the more recent times, brought Morawaka to the social, political, academic and economic limelight.
In more recent times, among some of those, who kept the Abeywi-ckrema flag flying were Keerthi, Sumanadasa, Jayatissa, Parl and Anil, the last of them being Dayananda Abeywickrema (popularly known as as Daya Abeywickrema), who passed away recently, at the age of 83 years.
In his last assignment, Daya served as Executive Director of the Family Planning Association of Sri Lanka (FPASL) for 28 years, before he retired in 2003.
Daya had his early education at Richmond College, Galle. Following excellent results at the Advanced Level Examination, teenager Daya proceeded to America for higher studies. His childhood dream of entering the marketing field, which, he witnessed as a youngster being dominated mostly by foreign agents for sterling companies at the time, he fulfilled by obtaining a business degree with a class in Marketing. No sooner he returned home, he was absorbed by Elephant House, and designated Deputy Director – Marketing. Within a couple of years, Daya’s skills as an all round marketing strategist became known and the Dawasa Group of Newspapers lost no time in recruiting him as their Circulation Manager, which position he served in for many years.
In 1975, Daya came across an advertisement inserted by the Family Planning Association (FPA) to fill the newly created post of Executive Director (ED). When this writer asked Daya why he sacrificed his high salary, perks and prestigious position in Dawasa Group for a post, at that time, in the hardly known, and highly controversial FPA, unlike the popular Dawasa, his answer was amazing. “Look, I am from the village, I have seen how poor villagers suffer economically and healthwise, due to unmanageable family size. This is the situation in all rural families of our country. There is nobody to guide them. I believed that as the ED of the FPA, I would be able to do something about it.”
Very true to his aspirations, the FPA achieved many pluses under his stewardship, the most important being, helping the national scope of every government during Daya’s 28-year service period to take Family Planning (FP), to both rural poor and urban middle class families, promoting messages on safe motherhood and spacing child birth. He strongly maintained that FP is not limiting the size of any family, but spacing the births, with an eye on the health of the mother and the capacity of the parents to exercise proper care for all their children alike. He guided the FPA to promote those concepts and to demonstrate how they could be achieved with FPA support and services.
Daya encountered various difficulties like changing the perception of FP among groups of people, raising adequate funds, developing competent staff etc, which he tackled with his well judged vision and skills in meeting challenges. Being an expert in communication, he ardently promoted awareness-raising, through family and reproductive health education among men’s and women’s organisations, youth and adolescents clubs, schools and training colleges, estate and industrial sectors, and non-governmental and community based groups, to name a few. One of his outstanding successes was pioneering the FPA Social Marketing Programme (SMP), to deliver FP material, such as contraceptives, through an islandwide point of sale network, which also helped the FPA to raise a part of the funds necessitated to implement its many projects. The extensive and the remarkable success of the SMP, mainly due to Daya’s background in Marketing, was considered a distinct achievement of the FPA Sri Lanka, set for emulation by over 150 member associations of the International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF), the global body of all FPAs.
Daya had immense respect for and trust in volunteerism, which he supported at all levels. The popular ‘Praja Shanthi’ Project, he launched to attract the rural communities towards FP, had over 60,000 trained volunteers carrying FP messages from house to house at grassroots level. Daya conceived the “Youth to Youth” Project to train young people and adolescents to discuss Reproductive Health issues with their peers in youth clubs, societies, and communities, mostly in outstations.
Recognising the leadership Daya gave to the FPA Sri Lanka , IPPF honoured him with several awards in the presence of all member FPA audiences, at gala functions held in London. The IPPF International Award 1985 and the IPPF International Vision 2000 Award presented to him were significantly unique.
Daya’s glorious moment was when the FPA celebrated its Golden Jubilee in 2003. With his organising capabilities and dynamism, he guided the Jubilee Celebrations Organizing Committee, which included the FPA volunteers and the staff, helping with the planning, programming and execution of every single activity with pinpoint precision. The Golden Jubilee Celebrations of the FPA Sri Lanka became the talking point, not only within the country but even in the IPPF family of worldwide FPAs, adding many more laurels to the indefatigable Daya Abeywickrema. His name will be engraved in golden letters in the books of history, as the family planner of the village, who showed the way for a happy family life, for thousands and thousands of, mostly, the rural population of the country.
William Shakespeare wrote: “Some are born great; some achieve greatness through their work: and some have greatness thrust upon them”. To those who knew Daya closely, he was, undoubtedly, all of these mentioned.
- Lal Hewapathirana