5th Column
New Year teeming with old woes
View(s):My Dear Avurudu Kumaraya,
I thought I must write to you this year because you must be having difficulty in deciding what gifts you should bring as you usher in the New Year. As I see it, there are some who have got their gifts already but there are others who really need a gift or two.
Take Mahinda maama, for instance. He already has a port, an airport, a stadium, an airline and a theatre named after him and nothing he does seems to go wrong. Don’t even try to find him a gift because what could you give the man who has everything?
I don’t think you can find a suitable gift for the Green Man either. Now that might seem strange because he has been in the opposition for so long but then, if that is where he is happiest-as he appears to be-why bother anymore?
In contrast, the Green Man’s party certainly needs an avurudu gift. The best gift you can give them is an undisputed leader regardless of whether it is the Green Man himself or the young man in a hurry. Or else they will soon get a different kind of gift-defeat at yet another provincial council election!
As for the General, one would think that he too has got his avurudu gift early because his political party was recognised recently but he desperately needs more gifts-the restoration of his civic rights and a few other politicians to stand by him in the long run instead of deserting him after some time.
Then we have the Reds, who also appear to have got their avurudu gift early. Their Boss has suddenly realised the impermanence of everything and said that he would be retiring. That might be a blessing in disguise for them because he didn’t achieve much except for a split in the party, did he?
Then you need not worry about avurudu gifts for young Malaka as well. The Attorney General has already played the role of the Avurudu Kumaraya and dropped all charges against him, so there is no need to visit the Silva household this year.
You need not visit the other Silva household as well because the Attorney General may soon bring a similar gift for young Duminda. This would make Maithri jealous because only his son had to face the music-but even he has received his gift because that matter has been referred to a mediation board!
Another group who do not need avurudu gifts is our cricketers. Despite India treating them like pariahs by telling them where they could play and where they could not play, they have gone there to earn a few million dollars after sacrificing their country’s self- respect, so why should you bother?
And talking of cricket, why don’t you do all of us a service and give our cricket authorities a boss who can run the game with professionalism and integrity, instead of the Palas and Dasas who seem to think it is their birthright to administer the game in this country?
Then there are those who desperately need some avurudu gifts from you. Take our own Iron Lady, for instance. She took a stand despite the consequences she had to face and she is still paying for that. She could really do with an avurudu gift such as getting her old job back, for instance!
Another group who could do with an avurudu gift or two is the Bodu Bala Sena. Why don’t you give all their members air tickets to Chennai as avurudu gifts? Then, I am sure, they will channel their considerable energies into taming Jayalalithaa instead of throwing stones at shops at night.
Jayalalithaa herself could do with an avurudu gift, I think. She is acting as if she runs India only because she is not sure of her support in her own state. If you can ensure that, maybe she will shut up and mind her own business instead of trying to teach us what we should be doing.
But your best gifts must be reserved for those of us in this country. I am not talking about new airports or highways, staging the Commonwealth Summit here and inviting the Queen, or even Commissions probing mass graves-but simple gifts that we could all enjoy.
I think what most Sri Lankans would dearly like is a less expensive New Year where the price of parippu, pol sambol and paan is reasonable and where the electricity bills are affordable-with an assurance that there is an uninterrupted supply of electricity instead of unannounced power cuts.
If you can give us that-and a peaceful New Year where shops are not attacked at night and where ministers’ children behave as children instead of hooligans disregarding the law, I think most Sri Lankans will be happy. If you could do that, Avurudu Kumaraya, you would have done your job well.
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-Sri Lankans being Sri Lankans, they are happy with what they get. If you can get them an additional holiday for tomorrow-or a win at a cricket match-they would perhaps forget everything else and be content with that too!
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