Five rupees short is hardly the crime of the century. But I later got the feeling that, given the right opportunity, that nimble checkout clerk at my local supermarket could pull off the next Great Train Robbery. First, the insolent smile that would put Sean Connery to shame – inviting me to part with my [...]

The Sundaytimes Sri Lanka

Olympic swindlers and Sunday rogues

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Five rupees short is hardly the crime of the century. But I later got the feeling that, given the right opportunity, that nimble checkout clerk at my local supermarket could pull off the next Great Train Robbery.

First, the insolent smile that would put Sean Connery to shame – inviting me to part with my money with glad heart and no questions asked, thank’ee kindly sir! Then, the Donald Sutherland-ish swagger as he checked out my purchases and reached for the proffered banknote – as if he was handling precious gold bullion, and not paltry greenbacks.

Lastly, the slick palming of change and casual saunter away from the counter before I could gather my bags and my wits… and Bob’s your uncle – with mister smooth-operator supermarket-swindler richer by ten grand a month (at an estimated five quid a customer, into a hundred fall guys a day, spaced over four weeks of street-smart work).

Most of the best local swindles pale in comparison to the crimes perpetrated by a rash of Olympian cheating in London during the ongoing 2012 games. The latest imbroglio is that of gold medal Olympic swimmer Cameron van der Burgh, who admitted to cheating in his 2012 world record win. After winning in the 100-metre breaststroke, the self-confessed cheat claimed that some 99 per cent of Olympics competitors break the rules. The games are rife with loopholes, the swimmer intimated, confessing that greed for gold left him and fellow athletes with little or no choice if they wanted to ‘bite metal’ (a curious winner’s peccadillo) on the podium.

The international media are going to (London) town, reporting gleefully and not with a smidgen of shame on an outbreak of Olympic scandals. In their desire to set the bar or better their own or their rivals’ timings, a plethora of athletes at the 2012 Summer Games are bending – if not breaking – the rules. While cheating seems to have made it possible for the likes of van der Burgh to win his event, the Olympian swimmer maintains that he is not ashamed of what he did. If his claims are accurate, it would transpire that cheating, stealing glory, and lying about a lot of things is a non-traditional tactic which has become par for the Olympic course.

Cameron Van der Burgh poses on the podium after the men’s 100m breaststroke swimming event at the London Olympics. Van der Burgh, has admitted to cheating during his victory at the Olympics, which came in world-record time (AFP)

Athletes across the board indulge in it – ostensibly to give them an edge…In his case, Van der Burgh is seen (based on underwater footage) using at least three dolphin kicks in his 100 metre breaststroke. But a lack of cameras to monitor the actual live race gives swimmers an opportunity to cheat their way to victory. On the three-tiered podium, guilt and shame are as far from these Olympians’ minds as the correct change is from my local store’s cashier’s heart. In the aftermath of his record-breaking win, van der Burgh told the media: “If you’re not doing it [cheating, that is], you’re falling behind. It’s not obviously – shall we say – the moral thing to do, but I’m not willing to sacrifice my personal performance and four years of hard work for someone that is willing to do it and get away with it.”

The cheating swimming victor’s sentiments have all the appeal of five rupees on the never-never for moralists, purists, and goody two-shoes types. But the thinking that it has got to the point where “if you’re not doing it, you’re falling behind” is catching on in virtually every circle of national life. There is a sense where you’re deliberately setting yourself at a disadvantage if you’re not pushing the envelope in some way in a milieu where everyone is tweaking the rules and twisting the regulations. All kinds of folks – from funny-minded store clerks, to savvy fiscal managers of national economies and state treasuries – are also seemingly of the mutual opinion that “if you’re not doing it, you’re not trying hard enough”, as van der Burgh would say.

The pity of the matter – both home and abroad – is that impunity prevails. More and more competitors are speaking openly about breaking the rules at the Olympics – or, at the very least, violating the spirit of the ancient and glorious Games. For instance, a champion British cyclist who confessed last week to staging a crash so that his team could position itself again for a better start may well believe that there is little any authority can do to strip the Brits of their eventual gold. In several other imbroglios, officials appear unwilling or unable to instigate and conduct an investigation. Perhaps worse, some experts estimate that only 10 per cent of Olympic cheats – rule-breakers, playing-field tilters, and goalpost-shifters (to say nothing of self-dopers) – ever get caught.

While cheating may be the new way of winning at the Olympics, it is more than an embarrassment to elected officials at national level. When a supermarket clerk cheats me, I can complain to the manager and rescue my ailing bank balance by having that missing-in-action five bucks restored to its rightful place in my wallet. But when ministers of the state seal a dirty oil or hedging deal (for e.g.) and mandarins benefit from importing fuel that breaks down car, bus, and train engines, shouldn’t they be stripped of their medals?




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