There are many reasons as to why I am proud of where I come from. But one rather curious reason for my national and/ or cultural pride is our everyday use of the hand-held (or other) bidet. For something that has existed so long in the human bathroom culture, its use has spread at a shockingly slow rate, especially in America. As we know, it is used in abundance in Asia, the Middle East, Latin America and certain parts of Europe (such as Italy, Greece and France) but many thousands of people in the world today remain closed to the very idea of it. Recent research shows, however, that more and more people (celebrities, in particular) have suddenly begun to treat the ancient cleansing ritual surrounding the bidet as a luxury!

You may not consider it so, given the fact that you've grown up with it, but what ever the case may be, here are some little known facts about your friendly neighbourhood bidet – if you live with one, you might as well get to know it: First off, did you know that the bidet is an invention of French furniture makers as early in the day as the 17th century A.D.? You think that's an interesting fact, but how about this one - the word 'bidet' is French for 'pony.' Go figure!

Also, would you believe it if I told you it is generally acceptable to use a bidet to wash your feet? Well, it's true. Look it up in one of those strange toilette etiquette books. I was surprised to read it myself. Though I certainly would prefer not to wash my feet in a bidet, it is good to know that I can. You never know when the day will come when there's a gun to your head and you are left with no choice but to do it like the French do.

Over the years (it almost goes without saying) the bidet has been subject to truck loads of misunderstandings, particularly by those unfamiliar with the sight of it or by those adverse to the use of it. Exhibit A: The average American. For those who have never seen a bidet before, bidets have been confused as commodes, urinals, drinking fountains, and even as baby baths. There is, reportedly, a (video) documented occasion on which a person drank water from a bidet assuming this was its purpose. I grieve for that unfortunate soul.

But with the wisdom that has come with age, and the wisdom that has come otherwise, I have come to understand that this world is one big juxtaposition of extremes. On one side of the spectrum there is America, which sends people to the moon without much trouble but still can't seem to wrap its gigantic head around the benefits of something as straightforward as the bidet. And then there is Japan – America's neighbour from across the pacific pond. Talk about being ahead of the game – Japan has begun to combine Western-style commodes with bidets – i.e. Japanese commodes have bidets in them. It's a two-in-one deal. These are installed in more than half of Japanese households and are commonly called 'washlets.' These are extremely classy, high-tech gadgets which even I am sure to be scared of, if I see.

Having said all this however, it is only fair to make mention of the fact that since of late more and more Americans (slowly but surely) are installing combination bidet toilets in their homes. Their experts claim this is more sanitary than the mere use of toilet paper and also adds "a touch of luxury" to one's everyday life. This is certainly a step in the right direction, as far as I am concerned. Will Smith, for one, has a fancy Japanese bidet in his home which he calls "a gift from heaven." It is quite the highlight of his life. Dear, sweet, Mr. Smith certainly makes me feel like I am among the privileged minority of the world.
So my (long overdue?) conclusion is this – life isn't all gloom and doom down on the island of Sri Lanka. We may have our troubles, but at least we all have access to this "gift from heaven," in one form or another, in our everyday lives.

My final bidet fact is a little outlandish and is admittedly a terrible way to end this article, but I can't help it – an obviously bored and very creative man called William Bruneau actually took the time to write "The Bidet Book," which is a 90-page guide on everything you ever wanted to know about your bidet. This book is often referred to as the Bible of the bidet industry. As fascinating a fact as this may be, I have spent many lonely moments of my day wondering how in the world a person could write 90 whole pages about a bidet. The only way to find out how is to read it myself. But that might take me from being a jobless person to being an extremely jobless (even sad and pathetic) person overnight…
Sounds like a plan!