Knell of the wedding bells
So tell me do you hear the knell of the wedding bells loom nigh? If you do, read on. If you don't, read on anyway. I'm sure everyone's aware that there are but a few universally acknowledged truths; taxes, death and marriage in your 20's! Not too familiar with the latter? Well I'd have been just as bewildered if I'd have not known any better but, unfortunately I do and believe you me, my tale of woe is not what you think it is... hear me out.
Am I in my 20's? Yes. Am I enjoying my life? Yes. Am I 100% sure where I'd like to be in 10 years time? No (but, is anybody?). Would I like to meet (as clichéd as this might sound) the man of my dreams and "settle down" someday? Maybe (if such a man actually exists that is). Am I capable of determining for myself how my future should take shape? I should think so! Evidently not as cut and dry as that it seems. Why? Well, let's find out shall we?
Our beloved parents... sometimes you just can't do with them yet, you can't do without them either... so what do you do then? Most often nothing much. Because especially in eastern cultures such as ours, we grow up with full scale 'emotional blackmail' virtually inscribed on our foreheads! We are constantly made to feel (sometimes intentionally, sometime due to our own volition) that it is our duty as children to adhere to our parents' wishes, irrespective of what we believe. It's the least we can do for them, considering how much they've done for us over the years!
Don't get me wrong, I think my parents deserve a 1000 gold medals for bringing us up the way they did. Trust me, raising three girls ain't no "walk in the park". And I'll forever be indebted to them for all they've done for me. But, to expect me to live out the rest of my life according to what they "think" is best for me??? That's one tough ask if you ask me!
I mean, I realise they're my parents and in all likelihood they would know me inside out but, does that automatically give them the licence to decide on what's best for me? Is it some sort of biological phenomenon beyond my simple reasoning or a severe case of parents being unable to cut off the umbilical cord? Can you blame me for leaning heavily toward the latter possibility?
Although, this type of parental instinctive knowledge of their offspring is not merely restricted to the field of marriage, I feel that in lieu of its significance and finality, it ranks quite high in the priority list of complaints. I'm always up for a healthy discussion/debate with my parents, on my chosen partner (if and when I decide to do so) as I do very much value their opinion. However, once views and concerns our exchanged (and hopefully put to rest) parents should have enough faith in their upbringing skills to know that we will in fact choose wisely. The fine bottom line being, that at the end of the day, it is very much our future. Nobody will be living it for us but, somebody could very well be accompanying us through it. If we don't get to have a say in who that might be, what's the point?
Parents must be able to differentiate between what's in the best interests of their children and what's in the best interests of themselves under the guise of their children's best interests. There's no way anyone can take on the responsibility of another's future, even if they are your own flesh and blood! There's a vast difference between voicing your opinion and ensuring that it's voiced loudly and frequently enough to be adhered to even under duress.
I understand what it must be like for parents who've toiled and sacrificed so much just so their children could have a better life than they had, and then having to just let them go, not knowing what the 'big, bad world' has in store for them. It's hard. Very, very hard I'm sure. But, accepting that experience (both bad and good) is the best teacher, that they'll someday discover true happiness in the strangest of packaging, that they will always find their way back home and that they know there's always two people watching their backs!