‘I stand as a woman with a multifaceted identity’
A single choice can change everything.
My story began when my biological mother made the difficult choice to terminate her parental rights and handed me over to Mother Teresa’s Home as a newborn.
I was under the care of Sister Aroha and was adopted at the age of three months by Australian parents who had migrated from Sri Lanka. Due to strict migration laws, I didn’t arrive in Australia until the age of two. An incredibly long and costly battle for my parents. Soon after my arrival, I was diagnosed with a profound hearing loss—an unexpected challenge that became part of my journey.
Adoption can be a bridge : Adrika with her adoptive parents in Australia
Yet, those early obstacles did not define me. Instead, they shaped my resilience, strengthened my sense of identity, and fuelled my determination to create a life of purpose. Today, I stand as a woman with a multifaceted identity —an adoptee who has walked the line between two worlds, carrying with me both the love of my adoptive family and the heritage of my biological roots.
What follows is my story. A story about adoption, stigma, challenging the traditional meaning of ‘family’ and how the power of love can transcend boundaries.
This November, as we mark Adoption Awareness Month, I share my story to celebrate the beauty of unorthodox families. I strongly believe every child deserves to grow up knowing that they are chosen, cherished, and loved for all they are.
I grew up in a home where my adoption was celebrated and my biological mother was respectfully spoken about. Due to my parents’ high level of honesty, I was allowed to imagine something different—something deeply personal. I dreamed of a family where both my adopted and biological families could exist in harmony. An unorthodox family, not just in name, but in the values we share.
At the time, it felt like an impossible wish. Society didn’t talk much about adoption in ways that made space for both families. It often felt like a choice had to be made: one or the other. But because of my parents’ liberalism and transparency, I believed that love wasn’t limited to biology or legal ties. I believed that somehow, both parts of me could come together—not just within myself, but in the people I loved.
My life is a tapestry woven from two families, each with its own unique threads. My adoptive parents gave me safety, guidance, and unconditional love. They appeared in my life when my future was uncertain and built a foundation I could proudly stand on. After reuniting with my biological family at the age of 18, they gave me closure and a deeper understanding of where I come from.
Both sides have given me roots and history—essential to who I am.
It wasn’t an easy ride; it took several years. There were challenges—navigating relationships, healing from past traumas, creating trust across unfamiliar lines. But what has emerged is something incredibly beautiful: an unorthodox family built not just on shared DNA or legal documents, but on mutual respect, compassion, and a deep desire to do what’s best for each other. It has allowed the next generation to not only get to know each other but also be there for each other’s triumphs and challenges – birthdays, baby showers, graduations, weddings, and even during times of grief.
Adoption, for me, wasn’t about replacing one family with another. It was about expanding the definition of family altogether.
For generations, adoption in Sri Lanka has been surrounded by stigma. I have sadly experienced it first-hand. Too often, I would witness individuals speak of it in hushed tones and I have seen the detrimental mental health impact it can have on children when their truth and the topic of adoption has been hidden by relatives with no respect given to the adoptee’s biological ties. I can understand that families fear judgment and may have many other fears that come with truth telling, however it’s often the child that sometimes has to carry the burden of a story that was never truly their own.
While children are considered blessings, societal norms have sometimes prevented an adoptee to define their own story, although, on a positive note Sri Lanka has made strides in reforming its adoption framework. Governed by the Adoption of Children Ordinance of 1941, the legal system emphasises the best interests of the child. However, even with these legal implications, are Sri Lanka’s attitudes and cultural hesitations evolving to reflect the best interests of the child? Are our unconscious biases still fuelling the stigma associated with adoption?
Adoption can be a bridge, not a barrier. It can create families that are messy, complex, and absolutely beautiful. It can be an act of profound love that brings people together in ways no one could have imagined. I now live in a world where I have three sides and I refer to them as biological, amma’s and dad’s. As an adoptee, getting to this stage was a struggle. But would I do it again?
Yes.
The love, appreciation and respect for my parents’ post reunification have only grown ten-fold because this journey would not have occurred if it was not for their openness.
If you are an adoptive parent, an adoptee, or someone considering adoption— know this: it doesn’t have to be either/or. With time, effort, and open hearts, it can be both. Love will always make room.
I dreamt of a combined family dynamic. Today, I live in that dream – and it is even more beautiful than I imagined.
Searching for an ideal partner? Find your soul mate on Hitad.lk, Sri Lanka's favourite marriage proposals page. With Hitad.lk matrimonial advertisements you have access to thousands of ads from potential suitors who are looking for someone just like you.