5th Column

My dear Ramith,

I thought of writing to you because everyone is talking about how you ‘gave the finger’ as you left court this week. We know ‘giving the finger’ is an obscene way of showing contempt and saying ‘I don’t care’. Still, I can’t understand why there is such a fuss about your actions. Let me explain.

You had just been charged in court with failing to show how you acquired assets worth over 290 million rupees in less than two years when you were your Papa Keheliya’s Private Secretary. As you left court, you ‘gave the finger’ not just once, but three times. I am not surprised at all, Ramith.

Remember, Ramith, when you were 17 and still a student at Royal College? You were accused of breaking into the school office and stealing files which allegedly had details about the assault of another student. The school’s principal suspended you from extra-curricular activities for a month.

At the time Papa Keheliya was a minister in Mahinda maama’s Cabinet. He used his influence to have that suspension withdrawn. The motto of Royal College is ‘Learn or Depart’. You didn’t learn, nor did you depart, you went on to captain its cricket team. So, in effect, you were ‘giving us the finger’!

Then there was that time 12 years ago, when you were with the Sri Lanka ‘A’ team flying from Grenada to London on a British Airways flight and tried to open the emergency exit at 35,000 feet before being stopped by officials and airline staff. The allegation was that you were intoxicated.

What happened next was hilarious. Sri Lanka Cricket said that you had mistaken the exit for the toilet because of ‘dim cabin lights’. When asked about it, Papa Keheliya had a ready explanation, saying you suffered from ‘sleepwalking’. Again, Ramith, you were ‘giving us the finger’!

Maybe sleepwalking runs in your family. That is why Papa Keheliya slipped and fell from a balcony while he was Down Under in Melbourne. That did not matter because all his medical bills were paid for by the President’s Fund, which is by us taxpayers. That was his way of ‘giving us the finger’!

To return to your antics, Ramith, 9 years ago you crashed your car into a tree at Independence Avenue in Colombo, allegedly under the influence of alcohol. Then, too, Papa Keheliya laughed it off saying it was ‘not the first accident in the country’, so in a sense, he was ‘giving us the finger’ again!

You didn’t learn a lesson from that because a couple of years later, you were arrested on charges of assaulting two university students and drunk driving. For some strange reason, the students withdrew the assault charges so your run of good luck continued – or else, you were ‘giving us the finger’ again!

While you have this track record of ‘giving the finger’ many times, Papa Keheliya had been busy too. That is why he is being charged with several misdeeds, including allegedly substituting a cancer drug with saline when he was Health Minister. That was another way of ‘giving us the finger’.

The Bribery Commission would have much less work if not for Papa Keheliya. He has been charged with ‘employing’ friends and relatives and then allegedly drawing their salaries and allegedly using public funds to pay his personal mobile phone bill. So, he has been repeatedly ‘giving us the finger’!

Then, your entire family including your mother, three sisters and brother-in-law have been hauled before court for allegedly amassing illegal assets and on charges of money laundering. So, ‘giving us the finger’ appears to have become a family tradition in the Rambukwella household too.

When your Papa Keheliya was challenged on the issue of importing low quality drugs, resulting in deaths of patients, with a no confidence motion in Parliament, he wasn’t ruffled. In fact, he declared that this is why undertakers locate their business close to hospitals, ‘giving us the finger’ once again.

What was more interesting was that your Papa Keheliya survived that no confidence vote with ease. 113 parliamentarians, or a majority of MPs, supported him. Only 73 voted against him. Collectively, this 113 were ‘giving us the finger’!

That was one of the compelling reasons, Ramith, why voters flocked to polling booths in two major elections last year and had a different finger – the little finger – painted after voting to oust Papa Keheliya and those who were with him then. It was, in a sense, their way of ‘giving you the finger’!

This is also why, Ramith, I said that I am not at all surprised at what you did in court the other day. There was nothing new in that, it was what you, your Papa Keheliya, your entire family and many others in the party that he was with were doing all these years and that is why it is not news to me.

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: Still, I worry about you, Ramith. There was another ‘R’ from Kandy. He played rugby while you played cricket. His father was an influential minister too. He too had a string of similar shenanigans to his name. Alas, he is no more now. Be careful, Ramith, we don’t want you following his footsteps.