5th Column

My dear Mahindananda,

I thought of writing to you because you hit the headlines last week, being sentenced to 20 years of rigorous imprisonment, no less. Although there was all this talk about ‘horu allanawa’ or catching thieves, I must admit the news about you – and your partner in crime Nalin – came as a bit of a shock.

Of course, you were never a quiet chap. You liked being the centre of attention, be it in public rallies, Parliament or while wielding your ministerial powers. Yet, I am quite certain you wouldn’t have relished the attention you got last week, being led away in handcuffs to spend a long time at Welikada.

You always had something to say, and you didn’t shy away from controversy, Mahindananda. That is why when you were Sports Minister and we lost the cricket World Cup final to India, you accused Sangakkara’s team of fixing the match. Last week though, as you were led away, you said nothing.

We also recall that you once famously said that the day you will sleep well is when Uncle Ranil is behind bars. Those words have come back to bite you today because the question today is whether you are sleeping well, now that you are behind bars while Uncle Ranil remains very much a free man. 

In fact, you made amends with Uncle Ranil months ago, despite those harsh words of yours. That is why, at the last election, you dumped Namal and supported Uncle Ranil and his ‘gas cylinder’. Ah, what better example of politics having no permanent friends or enemies, only permanent interests?

There is a sense of déjà vu about what happened to you. You got into trouble distributing carrom boards and draughts boards to sports clubs. Remember, Mahinda maama’s secretary Lalith and his sidekick Pelpita also got into trouble similarly for distributing ‘sil redi’ to various temples?

There is one factor common to all of you: all of this was to try and get Mahinda maama re-elected 10 years ago. History will record that all of your efforts were in vain because the four of you ended up in jail while Mahinda mama was also inexplicably beaten by the unfancied Aiyo Sirisena!

I don’t know whether you realise it, but the irony is that while you and Nalin, as well as Lalith and Pelpita, all did jail time for trying to win Mahinda maama his election, he remains untouched. Why, the rathu sahodarayas, for all the noise they make, can’t even send him a letter to leave his house!

Meanwhile, some ‘telephone’ party chaps are trying to take the credit for your plight saying that the case against you was filed during their ‘yahapalanaya’ days. That is true, but your classmate Harsha was truthful enough to say some credit needs to go to the rathu sahodarayas for these latest events.

We know that your case was indeed filed during the ‘yahapalanaya’ time but was then swept under the carpet. Both Nalin and you went from suspects to becoming Cabinet ministers under Gota maama. Somehow, it seems the change of government co-incided with your case reaching a quick conclusion.

All that the maalimaawa chaps have done is to facilitate investigations by the Bribery Commission and not interfere with proceedings in court. To suggest that they did anything more than that would be an insult to Anura sahodaraya and his government. Still, some rathu sahodarayas don’t realise this.

That is why we heard Harshana proudly ask, “Do you think this would have happened under any other government?”. Is he implying that under any other government, the verdict would have been any different? And he is Minister of Justice too! Ah, why can’t that reshuffle happen any sooner?

The only take on your verdict that was worse than Harshana’s came from Dilith. Ever the entrepreneur, he argues you only distributed the ‘stolen’ goods and didn’t use them yourselves. So you should not be punished because there are ‘bigger’ thieves, he argues. I wonder who he is thinking of?

Mahindananda, if I were you I would be annoyed with Namal baby too. He said ‘catch me if you can’ to the rathu sahodarayas and challenged them to match their election promises with action. That has begun. That is why many ‘pohottuwa’ chaps are renewing their passports before they get a travel ban.

Your only comfort maybe the fact that Lalith and Pelpita were later acquitted in their case; but yours is a Trial-at-Bar and the processes for appealing such a verdict is very different, I hear. So, I am sorry, I cannot honestly wish you and Nalin the best of luck because justice must take its rightful course.

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: 20 years is a long time in prison. Still, you and Nalin have Keheliya, Duminda, Chamara, Pillayan, S M and Mervyn to keep you company from time to time. So, why not start a new political party there? I am sure its numbers will grow and you could call it the ‘Welikada Eksath Peramuna’!