5th Column

My dear Gota maama,

I thought of writing to you when I heard that you had celebrated your 74th birthday this week. Oddly enough, it was only mentioned in passing and not announced with great fanfare. Still, considering where you were one year ago, it must be a relief that you were able to celebrate it at all.

We all remember how you had to flee through the backdoor of President’s House while mobs were at its gates. Even after leaving the country, you couldn’t work out a ‘safe passage’, having to first fly to the Maldives, then to Singapore and then to Thailand before finally returning home again.

That was after people had set up camp outside your office for several months, calling it ‘Gota go gama’. They had a similar station outside Mahinda maama’s office which was called ‘Mynah go gama’ and Basil was being taunted with cries of ‘kaputu kaak, kaak’ wherever he went.

Looking back now at those uncertain times, you must be relieved that you are in your motherland for your birthday, and that there were at least a few people who attended those celebrations, because there was a time when we couldn’t find 69 people who voted for you, leave alone the famous ‘69 lakhs’.

It is not surprising that your birthday was celebrated at a temple. It is even less surprising that the ‘sermon’ for the occasion was delivered by the same monk who once advised you that you should rule the country ‘like Hitler’.

Around this time last year, the message from the masses was ‘Gota go home’, not ‘Many Happy Returns’. For those who wanted that, their wishes have come true, but the year that has passed must have provided you – and us – with ample time to reflect on how fickle peoples’ loyalties are in politics.

Does it surprise you, Gota maama, that Uncle Ranil who succeeded you is still running the country with almost the identical Cabinet that you appointed? The only exception was GL who was booted out by Uncle Ranil for the crime of nominating Dullas to run against him in that contest in Parliament.

Hardly any of those ministers turned up at your birthday celebrations last week. They who sang your praises and fawned on your every word less than a year ago, now don’t even want to be seen with you, probably because they feel that associating with you will hurt their chances at the next elections.

I think Uncle Ranil must have a similar feeling. That is why he is using every excuse to delay giving Cabinet portfolios to those who were closest to you like Mahindananda, Rohitha and Johnston. Uncle Ranil probably thinks that if he does so, he too will hurt his own chances at the next big election.

Right now, it is no secret that some ‘pohottuwa’ chaps are not very happy with Uncle Ranil because he is not doing what they want him to do. As a result, they are complaining that it was they who got him the votes to get the top job and now he is carrying on doing pretty much anything he wants to do.

What these chaps should realise is that they chose Uncle Ranil not because they loved him. They chose him because he was the only one who guaranteed that he wouldn’t dissolve Parliament earlier than required and also protect the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps from being dragged before the courts for corruption.

Uncle Ranil has kept his promises at least on those two counts. However, I don’t think you or the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps should expect him to be loyal to you for very long. He too has an election to think about by the end of next year – and he seems to be laying the groundwork for it in typical Ranil style.

I am sure Mahinda maama and Basil, as well Namal baby, are aware that some of the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps working with Uncle Ranil are saying what a great boss he is. They are talking of him as the next candidate from the ‘pohottuwa’. Stranger things have happened, so we can’t rule that out, can we?

We hear such noises from Prasanna, Bandula (of yoga with the umbrella fame), Kanchana and Lanza – yes, the person Mahinda maama visited at home when he was the big boss after Lanza’s home was raided by the Special Task Force. So, you can reflect on their loyalties now, Gota maama.

People who write to you and visit you now may be less, but you need not worry, your place in history is already assured, Gota maama. That is as the only person not to hold any public office before becoming President and the only President to resign, but we hope you will enjoy a better 75th birthday!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: Many think history’s verdict on your time at the top will be ‘Sir, fail’. Still, you can console yourself with the fact that, with the exception of Dearly Beloved’s short term as boss, after each President, we felt his predecessor was better. In time, it could be the same for you too, Gota maama!