Columns - 5th column

We’re never safe from being ‘shocked’ till we’re dead
By Rypvanwinkle

My Dear SB,

I thought I must write to you because you are in the news once again, jumping from the Green side to the Blue, just before yet another election. Of course, SB, considering what you have done in the past this is hardly surprising but still, the manner in which it was done left many people in shock!

I suppose SB, by now we should not be shocked at anything that you do. After all, we still remember how you were Satellite’s closest advisor and right hand man at one time. Why, it was you who helped her to rig that infamous election at Wayamba that was a disgrace to anyone who respects democracy!

Then, you fell out with Satellite and crossed over to the Green side and then in true Sri Lankan style she sent helicopters to photograph the ‘palace’ you had built at Hanguranketha and we were all wondering how you had managed to build such a large house in so short a time!

Your defection brought about the downfall of Satellite’s government and the Greens won the next election but we all remember how Satellite refused to swear you in-because, I suppose, although she could tolerate all those Green chaps, she couldn’t tolerate you…

You somehow became a minister thereafter but your big mouth got you into trouble once again when you criticised the highest court in the land and was sent to prison. Most of us thought that they were a bit harsh on you but then, that doesn’t seem to have mellowed you one bit…

Why, it was the Greens who supported you and agitated on your behalf when you were in jail even though it was Mahinda maama who eventually pardoned you. And, we all remember how you pledged to work to ensure a Green victory on your release from jail…Of course, SB, we know you were always complaining that you were not given your due place among the Greens but don’t forget that you were the National Organiser of the party and you were given the chance to contest the central provincial council elections which you did-and lost…

All these years we have also heard you sing the praises of Uncle Ranil, explaining to us why he is the only person capable of taking the country to prosperity. Now, suddenly, he is the worst enemy this country has and you are quite liberal in the amount of mud you sling at him…

Correct me if I am wrong, SB, but in those ten books that you had written while in prison which you published recently, there are chapters and chapters that praise Uncle Ranil and hail him as a great leader. What will you do to all those books, SB? Add some new chapters on Mahinda maama, perhaps?
What really surprised us was your rapid change of stance this time, SB. Why, only a few days ago you were heaping praise on the General and calling him the ‘Man of the Match’ who was not given his due place in the team. The next day, you are saying only Mahinda maama can save this country!

Of course, we know that you wanted to contest from the Greens and you were annoyed that the Greens endorsed the General. Had you contested, you would have probably lost but you could have staked a claim to lead the party-and that is what you wanted. I suppose Uncle Ranil was too sharp for that!
When we heard you say that you had ‘given up’ your ambitions to become President and you will be Mahinda maama’s humble servant, SB, we didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. Of course everyone is laughing at you for what you did but we must cry because this is the type of politicians we have today!

Anyway, SB, unknowingly you have done the Greens a big favour. Without you around to create a rumpus, most of them now hope to rally around Uncle Ranil. On the other hand, we hear that some in the Blue camp who want to be PM-the likes of Maithree and Nimal, for instance-are now sharpening their knives against you, so be careful!

So, what else can we say, SB, except best of luck? We can only hope that when you leave the Blues and want to join the Greens once again, they will have the courage to say ‘no’ to you. But then, politics being what it is in this country, we know that it is asking for too much…

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha

PS-I am told that you were given hopes of becoming the PM which is why Mahinda Maama came all the way to Hanguranketha and invited you. Since you were talking of the ‘Man of the Match’ being left out, SB, don’t be surprised if, after the election, you are made the ‘twelfth man’ and cannot find a place in the team!

Top to the page  |  E-mail  |  views[1]
Other Columns
Political Column
Attacks on media: The story unfolds
5th Column
We’re never safe from being ‘shocked’ till we’re dead
The Economic Analysis
Will the spectre of inflation reappear?
Fleas and dogs: The irony of sleeping with the enemy
Focus on Rights
Would you want our votes, Mr President?


Reproduction of articles permitted when used without any alterations to contents and a link to the source page.
© Copyright 2009 | Wijeya Newspapers Ltd.Colombo. Sri Lanka. All Rights Reserved.| Site best viewed in IE ver 6.0 @ 1024 x 768 resolution