Columns - 5thcolumn

The wine and the song, like the seasons have all gone now!
By Rypvanwinkle

My Dear Satellite,

I thought I must write to you because you seem to be in the news these days, even if it was for all the wrong reasons. After all, few people must be writing to you or wanting to be associated with you in any way, after all those damning verdicts against you coming from Hulftsdorp.

Looking back, Satellite, you must be regretting the day you dissolved the Green government. Who knows, had you not done that the Greens may have still been in power and even though you would have had to retire, you probably wouldn’t be hauled up before the courts of law in this disgraceful manner.

I do recall you saying that you had made three mistakes during your reign, and dismissing the Greens was one of them. You had also said that entering into an agreement with the Reds was another mistake. That certainly appeared to be true because they held your government to ransom but You-Know-Who has got over that hurdle by dividing the Reds into two camps, so that doesn’t seem to be that much of a problem these days!

Isn’t it funny, Satellite, that all this had to come about because of JR’s constitution which you called the ‘bahubootha viyawasthawa’? Remember, when you first took office, you even promised the Reds that you will abolish that system of government within six months and as a result, the Red candidate withdrew from the contest?

In hindsight, Satellite, had you kept your promise and done just that, you would have lost your ‘immunity’ and then you would not have done what you did with ‘Waters Edge’ and that would have saved you from prosecution. Justice in this country works in mysterious ways, doesn’t it, Satellite?

And, speaking of justice, Satellite, it must be particularly galling for you to realise that those who are sitting in judgment and condemning your actions and imposing fines on you are those you chose over the head and shoulders of those who had already made their mark!

But then, Satellite, I must say that eventually your choice seems to be rather a good one because almost everyone agrees that the supreme judiciary and particularly its chief are the only saving graces in this country now even though it means that they have to direct traffic, decide on school admissions and even regulate electricity tariffs among their other more onerous duties!

Satellite, after all this fuss about being found guilty of abuse of power, you must surely be wondering what you would do with yourself in the near future. Well, you can safely bet the 224 acres at Waters Edge that no one-not even Avamangala-will want you anywhere near their platform now. I am not sure whether even good old Bill will want you in his Foundation, so it is finally time to consider retirement, don’t you think?
And while you are pondering about your future and reflecting on your past mistakes, I remember you saying that you won’t reveal what your ‘third’ mistake was. Now let me guess, Satellite: if you hadn’t given the ‘peon’s’ post to You-Know-Who, I think you wouldn’t be in this mess today. Had you, for instance, given it to Kadi, the poor chap would probably have been alive today and you wouldn’t have suffered this fate either!

But at least, we now know that the boast that the only thing that couldn’t be done with the ‘bahubootha viyawasthawa’ is to turn a man into a woman is not true, after all. Why, it cannot even protect former leaders from paying up, if they had done something wrong!

So, Satellite, my advice to you is to let bygones be bygones and spend the rest of your days in silent, solitary retirement perhaps away from our shores just like Sir John did, when he lost the reins of power...
Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS-If you want to look at the brighter side of things, the learned lords at Hulftsdorp did say that the immunity for our leaders granted by the constitution will not be valid if they act against the public good and that this would apply to leaders of the‘present and future’. Now you know who must be a worried man, don’t you?

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