Mirror Magazine

 

Are you first past the post or an also-ran?
If 20 people of equal ability toe the starting line together, are you the first to streak past the post? Last? Or just another also-ran?

There are 50 people pursuing the same job and they all have the right credentials. Are you the one who wins it? Shortlisted - but still a loser? Never seriously in the running?

Do you have that magic ingredient, the winner's factor that lifts some people out of the crowd and turns them into high fliers?

This quiz will tell you. And if the answer is "no", you may pick up a tip or two that might just move you up the ranks.

1. How do you tackle what you have to do each day:
(a) make a list and do as many items on it as you possibly can, in order of importance
(b) try to at least finish all the jobs that are urgent before you stop work and relax
(c) start with the job you think of first. Then pick another at random
(d) do only what you know you cannot really put off another day?

2. If you had the loan of a magic wand to wave over your favourite youngster, would you wish them:
(a) ambition
(b) energy
(c) contentment
(d) luck?

3. In your experience, which of these expressions has most truth in it?
(a) fortune smiles on those who help themselves
(b) the early bird catches the worm
(c) easy does it
(d) it's not what you know, it's who you know that counts?

4. Would you be most inclined to spend a holiday:
(a) doing something to increase your physical fitness or learning a useful new skill
(b) on a leisure activity
(c) on leisure inactivity, like lying in the sun
(d) at home? To go away is to risk inconvenience, discomfort, and a waste of money?

5. How much planning have you done for the future:
(a) you have defined a series of goals and a timetable for reaching them
(b) you always have a clear idea of the next milestone, though not really beyond that
(c) you yearn to reach one target one day, but you change it to something else the next
(d) it is a waste of time. Things never work out the way you expect anyway?

6. If you won a large sum of money, would you:
(a) put it to work in a series of business ventures and postpone the splurge until the returns start to roll in
(b) splurge a little and divide the rest between a very safe investment and something riskier
(c) spend some and give some away to people worse off than yourself - and probably be surprised when it ran out
(d) be delighted you need never work again... and start spending?

7. You are tackling a difficult job and concentrating well when a friend or colleague tries to interrupt. Do you:
(a) say you'll get back to them later
(b) keep the interruption as brief as you can
(c) break off and hope to get back to the task later
(d) stop? It probably wouldn't have worked out anyway?

8. When you have influenza, do you:
(a) refuse to give in and go to bed unless you become incapable of standing
(b) go to bed but take the phone and keep your finger on the pulse
(c) go to bed with a good book and make the best of your enforced idleness
(d) go to bed and wallow in your symptoms?

9. You have always dreamed of seeing the pyramids of Egypt or the Taj Mahal in India. You cannot afford it. Do you:
(a) start cutting back on everything you can to save and vow you will do it, however long it takes
(b) start saving what you can spare
(c) get all the travel agency brochures and books you can and settle for enjoying them at second-hand
(d) forget it - they'd probably not live up to your expectations anyway?

10. Someone is fired from a job you badly want and it is offered to you. But you feel they were sacked unfairly. Would you:
(a) take it and watch your back
(b) take it only after you have made your feelings known
(c) turn it down - you don't want the worry of being that vulnerable
(d) take it, but look around for something safer?

11. When something you have planned goes wrong, do you:
(a) see what you can learn from it, then forget it
(b) wallow in regrets for only a short time before you put it behind you
(c) feel very dragged down by it
(d) not be too surprised - you accept setbacks as a part of normal living?

12. Do you fly off the handle:
(a) never - except deliberately, for effect
(b) rarely
(c) quite often
(d) very often

13. How much does it matter to you what people think of you:
(a) not at all
(b) slightly
(c) quite a lot
(d) a good deal

14. If you are given a difficult job to do, how much information do you feel you need to collect before you can start:
(a) a fair amount - what can be got together quite quickly
(b) as much as possible, even if it takes a lot of time
(c) not very much
(d) little or none - you can find out what you need as you
need it?

15. Do you start things but fail to finish them:
(a) almost never
(b) not often
(c) often
(d) all the time
- Asia Features

What your score means:
Mainly (a)s:
You are the one most likely to land life's glittering prizes. For you understand that winners make their own luck and you are prepared to work hard at getting what you want. So, if it has not all come together for you yet, keep plugging away. You are on the right track.

Mainly (b)s:
You could be in with a chance, but you have a few flaws in your campaign plan. To put your finger on your vulnerable areas, look again at the "a" answers above. Of course, you may decide when you see the "a" equivalents to your answers that being a pusher is not for you. Maybe you like your leisure too much or cannot bring yourself to be quite ruthless enough to beat the competition. On balance, you may decide you do not want a winning streak.

Mainly (c)s:
You are too much of a dreamer to have much hope of winning. Of course, there is always an outside chance - like winning the football pools or a lottery. And perhaps your dreams give you as much pleasure as winners get from their prizes anyway.

Mainly (d)s:
You do not need a winning streak because you are not giving yourself a chance in the race. If you want to shorten the odds on yourself, the first step is to get on to the starting line. You seem to be under the mistaken impression that anything you want should be yours for the asking, or that it is not worth entering the race because you will never win. Whichever is your hangup, it will have the same effect: you won't get anywhere. Be a devil... risk trying for once. You might get to like it.


Show that you care with a hug
By Shiroma Benaragama
It's so much easier to express anger than love. The minute you see your child doing something out of line, you don't hesitate to tell him/her to stop in a firm voice, or to lose your temper. Most of us are able to shell out feelings of frustration and indignation at the drop of a hat. But when it comes to looking at our loved ones and telling them how deeply we care, we draw a blank.

Have you hugged your child today?
We mean really 'hug', not just playfully tickled him/her or kissed him/her on the cheek. Have you held him/her close to your heart for a few moments so he/she feels your love without you having to say a word? We're just talking about the good, old-fashioned bear hug that generates nothing but warmth, affection and a feeling of acceptance.

Make hugging your child a daily ritual. In fact, stop for a moment and think - "Did I hug my child today"? And if not, why not? What held you back? Pure thoughtlessness, or was the thought "give a hug, spoil the child" running through your mind? Surprisingly, a large number of parents shy away from being too affectionate with their children because they believe their children will be spoilt. If you fall into that category, can you honestly say that you'd rather your child have low self-esteem than an ounce of overconfidence? Yet others feel that too much physical affection may make the child grow up into letting his/her emotions take charge. He/she may grow up to be someone who thinks from the heart, not the head. Not True. Hugging people doesn't stop them from using their mind any more than being rational doesn't stop them from being emotional.

The benefits of a hug
Several studies have been conducted to conclusively prove that human touch heals and increases one's life span. Human touch is essential for human growth and development.

Hugging is healthy for the body and the soul. Hugging is hygienic. Hugging won't give you AIDS and it won't increase the population. It boosts self-esteem and brings about a sense of security in a way no word can. Hugging reaches inside and touches your soul. The world may heal a bit if hugging increases, so do your bit. Get your body into action. Start hugging. After reading this article, give your child a hug. Then hug your spouse tight. Open your arms wide and, that's right, give them a hug.

Everybody loves a hug
Hugging can do wonders for a relationship. Watch your bond with your children strengthen as your hugs increase. Everybody loves a hug, not just your children. Extend your hugs to other family members as well. Remember, the person who is the hardest to hug is usually the one who needs it the most.
Try this out:
* Say good morning with a hug
* Say good night with a hug and kiss
* Say thank-you with a hug


My comfort first
By Laila Nasry
"You get into bed and lie down... you are up the next minute adjusting your pillows... lying down again... up the next minute re-adjusting your pillows, punching them in the right or wrong places, God knows, fluffing them... lying down again... turning over... curling up, pulling the covers right under your chin... grumbling it's warm... throwing the covers off, moving right under the fan... going aaaaah (a satisfied aaaaah)... and finally, finally falling asleep."

That's my sister's slightly exaggerated version of me hitting the sack at night. Her grouse is that all the tossing and turning to get comfortable makes the bed creak and groan in protest under my weight and her conclusion is that to share a double bed with me is to have nightmares even before one shuts one's eyes.

We've had this conversation a zillion times. But I win all the time because even she has to grudgingly admit that comfort is everything.

And every time it ends with me winning that comfort is everything. funnily enough I have bedtime stories to my defence. Goldilocks, the Princess and the Pea. The exaggerated version in the Princess and Pea where even a hundred mattresses did not do the trick.

It reinforces the thought that comfort cannot be compromised at any cost. Then I began to ponder on what importance we give to comfort, Not just me, anyone for that matter. Often it is the hardly dwelt upon but hidden hand which rules most of us.

If there is any word that goes without saying it has to be 'comfort'. Let's face it; practically all of us are suckers for those 'come get me' type of sink-in sofas, bouncy beds with soft pillows, better still your bed with your pillows, 'home clothes' (the faded, stretched, out of proportion after numerous washes and spin drying types), hot showers, a neck rub... everything that oozes comfort and makes you sigh in satisfaction.

And to think about it, every time I've tried to compromise on it I've landed in a spot. Like when I let vanity take precedence over all that is comfortable. Refuse to buy stilettos and I just don't get the logic, if there is anything elegant, dressy, classy and kinky all rolled into one it would be -stilettos right? Teetering on them and trying to act graceful has been a lifelong problem. My friend opts for a rather flat pair of shoes because she can dance better without having to worry whether she would trip or the heel would snap in the middle under her weight.

I remember the time I was asked to be a flower girl for my cousin's wedding. The prospect thrilled me because in my mind it involved a lot of dressing up and at that age believe me it makes you feel like you are the bride. But on the big day I was miserable. Here I was in an extremely beautiful dress... all that I imagined it to be and all I could think of was getting out of it as fast as possible. The lining was itchy, the sash around my waist somehow told me I cannot stomach the fabulous wedding buffet. Of course the old aunts pinched my cheeks and told me I looked really sweet but that was no consolation at all.

A friend of mine, I'm sure he means well, but somehow has an uncanny knack of making me feel uncomfortable. I used to go 'out of my way' literally so that our paths wouldn't cross. There are some people who instantly make you feel uncomfortable. So far he has not proven to be the painful opinionated, suave, smug sort... if you haven't met them believe me you've lived a good life.

Forget uncomfortable people I seem to have an uncanny knack of getting into uncomfortable situations-like the one time someone struck up a conversation with me in totally broken English. Initially I replied in English and then felt that maybe I made that other person feel really uncomfortable. So then I thought I'd strategically intersperse my conversation with a couple of Sinhala words from time to time and gradually switch over to talking in Sinhala altogether. I did just that but somehow the transition in language was not mutual. So while I continued to speak well-formulated sentences in Sinhala this other person quite happily went on massacring the Queen's English. At the end of it all I don't know who felt more uncomfortable but what I did know was I was having a splitting headache.

Let me do my own thing...

Of course the downside is once you get comfortable you get complacent, you are averse to change.

I've been stuck in a chair for over an hour writing this story. Comfort huh? Funnily yes. Because that's what being me is all about (not the stuck in the chair part, but the writing part) and if I'm not comfortable with that, God help me!!!


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