5th Column : Ryp VanWinkle

Just call Seeni Bola to help you, Mr. Bush
The Green Man was meeting Uncle Sam in the house that is white. This is a secret recording of what actually transpired...
"Hello, Hello, I'm sorry I'm late, but my officials told me to be at least two hours late because you chaps are always late..."
"No, no, that's not me, that's the lady..."
"Sorry to keep you waiting, then. So, how have you been?"
"Well, you know how it is; fighting terrorists on the one hand and trying to appease the people on the other hand..."
"Ah, yes but I thought you were talking to them and not fighting with them..."
"And that is exactly my problem..."
"Why is it a problem? Talking to them would be much easier than fighting them..."
"Ah, yes. But firstly they are not talking to us yet and then, because of that, the people are all becoming very, very anxious..."
"I see. So, what can I do to help? "
"Now, these chaps are banned in your place..."
"Yes, that's what they tell me. One of your chaps charmed Madeleine into banning them..."
"We want you to continue that ban..."
"That's not a problem; we'll just let it be..."
"Yes, but that should be done even if we ourselves lift the ban on those chaps over there..."
"Why would you do that?"
"Or else, they wouldn't talk to us at all..."
"But that would be quite embarrassing for us, won't it?"
"That's not a very different situation to what it was earlier..."
"Why do you say that?"
"Why, earlier we were calling them terrorists and you were calling them rebels or freedom fighters; now you are calling them terrorists and we are calling them rebels..."
"But everything changed with September eleventh, you know. When they start blowing up planes and buildings we have to call them terrorists..."
"Well, these guys blew up our planes and part of our airport a few months before that and there were people who still called them rebels..."
"Alright, then. But what do we tell the media?"
"Oh, we issue the usual statement saying we discussed bilateral issues and that you endorsed everything I was doing..."
"That's alright then; I was expecting you to ask me to blow the place up like we did in Afghanistan..."
"Not just yet, but we might if all else fails..."
"We'll be happy to do it, if those chaps were to crash a plane and kill some people here in the US, for instance..."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yes, of course, that's the best way to maintain my popularity here..."
"So, for the moment we say that all is well..."
"Yes, of course. By the way, I too have a request..."
"What's that?"
"You know how it was during the last election; there were all those recounts and that Gore chap was breathing down my neck..."
"Yes, I do remember..."
"I just want to avoid that kind of situation when I seek re-election and I'm told that you chaps are the experts..."
"I'm not; but I can send you someone who is an expert..."
"But who is that chap? I do have trouble remembering your long names, you know. Why can't your politicians have names like Bush, for instance?"
"Ah, yes our names are longer than that but we do have a politician under every bush..."
"So what's this chaps name, then?"
"Well, if you don't like long names, you can call him Seeni Bola for the moment..."

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