5th Column
RypVanWinkle
23rd December 2001
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Too many cooks may spoil the soup

"Thaaththa", Bindu Udagedera asked, "what do you think about the new Cabinet?"

"Why," asked, Bindu's father Percy, "why are you worried about that?"

"Why thaaththa, there are so many ministers…"

"No, Bindu," Percy reassured, "there are only twenty-five ministers…"

"But thaaththa," Bindu said, "there are ministers; then there are ministers who are not ministers and then, ministers who are neither ministers nor non-ministers…"

"What do you mean?" Percy was puzzled.

"Why, thaaththa," Bindu asked, "there are cabinet ministers and non-cabinet ministers and then there are deputy ministers…"

"Ah," said Percy, "a minister by any name is a minister, Bindu…"

"But then, thaaththa," Bindu said, "there will be a problem…"

"What is that?" Percy wanted to know.

"Why, thaaththa, then there are sixty-two ministers…"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Why, thaaththa, these are the people who were complaining about forty-four ministers…"

"That doesn't matter," Percy said, "as long as they do their work…"

"But can they do their work, thaaththa?" Bindu asked.

"Why do you think they can't do their work?" Percy queried.

"Why thaaththa, a lawyer has been asked to be the Minister of Defence…"

"Lawyers win many battles, Bindu…" Percy assured.

"And another lawyer has been asked to be the Minister of Finance…"

"But lawyers are famous for earning money…" Percy observed.

"But thaaththa, most of the ministers are already saying that they don't 

know the subject they have been allocated…"

"What do they mean by that?"

"Why, thaaththa, an engineer is the Minister of Health and a dentist is the Minister of Lands…"

"So," Percy asked, "are you suggesting that a ministry has to be handled by someone who knows about it?"

"Yes," Bindu said, "wouldn't that be better, like for instance, a doctor being the Minister of Health…"

"Then," Percy argued, "we would have to find a fisherman for the Ministry of Fisheries, a Buddhist monk for the Ministry of Buddha Saasana and maybe 

a bus driver for the Ministry of Transport…"

"Still," Bindu persisted, "I think someone who knows his subject would do better…"

"I don't think so…" Percy argued.

"How can you say that?" Bindu asked.

"Why, we had a General as the Deputy Minister of Defence and it was a disaster; then we had a Professor of Law as the Minister of Justice and that too was nearly a disaster…"

"So, you think there should be people who are total strangers to their subjects?"

"Not always," Percy said.

"What do you mean?" Bindu wanted to know.

"Why, we have the most suitable man as the Speaker of the House…"

"How can you say that?" Bindu asked.

"Why, he has seen it all before; the fights, the suspense, the intrigue, the backstabbing and even the glamour, fame and fortune. Why, he knows best that it is not real and that everyone is merely acting for the sake of us, the audience, and playing their part…"

"Why, thaaththa, what was he before?" Bindu asked.

"He was the manager of a cinema hall" Percy said.

Bindu didn't want to argue with that.


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