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Are you missing those red flags?
View(s):How healthy is your relationship? This Valentine’s Day, take some time to talk to your partner, to understand each other’s needs and wants, likes and dislikes, and together, agree on how you want your relationship to be.
Relationships are hard work. True as this may be, there could be indicators that your relationship may have become, or always was, toxic.
Sometimes it’s easy to tell if you’re in an unhealthy relationship. For example, if you’re in a physically abusive relationship, you know it’s toxic. Some relationships may not be so obvious but can still be toxic. These relationships are just as dangerous.
A recent study conducted by the Department of Census and Statistics together with UNFPA and the Government of Canada showed that one in four (24.9%) women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence since the age of 15 by a partner or non-partner in Sri Lanka.
Not sure how to tell if you’re in an unhealthy relationship? Here are 5 red flags you may have missed…
1. Control – Your date / partner may not let you hang out with your friends, access social media or spend time with your family. Your partner may also keep checking on where you are at all times and often may even get angry if you don’t answer your phone. Remember, every relationship needs space to grow!
2. Excessive jealousy – You may find that your partner gets obsessed with who you work with, hang out with and even how you dress. Your partner may keep checking your phone or laptop, or even threaten to share private pictures and images in public. Remember it’s not proof of love – it’s an invasion of privacy!
3. Extreme negativity – You may find that your partner is always criticizing you, the way you dress, the way you cook etc. Some will say “things will get better in time” or “don’t worry your partner will change” but remember that so much negativity could make you lose confidence in yourself. To be in a loving relationship you must start by loving and respecting yourself. You deserve better!
4. Your friends and family have strong objections about your partner – You may find that your friends and family are disapproving of your partner. Take some time to assess the reasons for this. Most often your family may know something that you are overlooking or are in denial about.
5. Inequality in the relationship – Relationships are a union between equals. It takes a lot of love, give and take, and commitment to make it work. This includes constant conversation and discussion before any key decisions are taken. But if you feel like your partner is always making decisions on behalf of the relationship and if your partner is always expecting you to ask permission even to step out of the house, that’s a red flag. Remember, dominance or demanding power is not the language of love!
Recognize some of these signs? Do not be in denial if you see these red flags. Call 1938 – the National hotline, 0775 676 555 – the Women in Need helpline or talk to someone you trust.
For more information on the study please visit: https://srilanka.unfpa.org/
(Content provided by the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) and Women in Need (WIN))