Appreciations
View(s):Love was the enduring gift
My mother gave to me
Bali Arulpragasam
My mother Bali, was born between the two world wars, when people instinctively knew that life was more about giving than receiving. She was a giver of her time, her kindness, her help and her hospitality. In time she came to possess everything she freely gave away. To her four children she gave her unconditional and unstinting affection.
Her enduring gift to me has been love. She placed no expectations on either of us her children and did not value us for our ability but instilled at our very core, that her love would always be greater than our achievements. She supported us equally in any mundane preoccupation of childhood, frivolous social activity of our youth and later mediocre or academic pursuits. I never knew her to be harsh or critical towards us, nor did she compare us to each other leading to sibling rivalry or intra familial competition for her love or attention. She mirrored the mothering she received from her mother Mrs Lolita Cooke which was one of effortless affectionate, affirmation and patience that allowed us to become who we were meant to be.
As I sat beside her during the final days of her life and reflected my view of her being a very good mother her natural response was ‘Are not all mothers good?’ showing that she carried no pride for being complimented on the scale of motherhood and for being the loyal, faithful, caring mother she had been to me. She was always welcoming and sociable towards our friends, insisting they come back for a meal. Many enjoyed her warmth and overflowing hospitality in our homes in Jaffna, Kandy and Colombo.
I cannot weigh up my mother’s life by career, qualifications or prestige none of which she claimed to have had. But if life is about relationships then my mother knew what was required based on the depth, breadth and impact her interactions have had on others. No one truly dies until they are completely forgotten and by that measure my mother will live on in the hearts and minds of her remaining friends, family, our school friends and the domestics who supported her for a long time.
After losing my father she grew in her Christian faith, firmly believing that with God’s forgiveness she could become better than herself. She tried to make amends where she had failed and believed that she deeply mattered to God. In the eve of her life she came to realise the certainty of the words of Martin Luther King who said ‘In life I have held many things in my hands and have lost them all, but that which I placed in the hands of God, I still possess.’
My mother died on April 3 this year, after a short illness. Even though she was the great grand daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister, wife, mother and the grandmother of doctors, she never needed the attention of a doctor herself until the last two months of her life. She died at the National Hospital where her stay was short, but the care they afforded her was excellent. The nurses were competent and professional and even though they knew my mother was dying, they acted as if she would live. She would have been pleased that she died close to the ward where my father once worked. For someone as loyal as my mother such things mattered very much as she always found meaning in small things. Sixty two years ago I was born her daughter by chance but I came to love, respect and honour her out of choice. May her gentle soul now rest in peace.
Dr. Ayesha Muthuveloe
We will hold onto precious memories you left behind
Dr P.H.D. Hemachandra De Silva
Thathi, we remember your loving smile, your caring heart and your thoughtful ways. Selflessly, you gave your best to the community and to us. You made the time to stop and be there for anyone who needed a helping hand. You taught us to be humble with greater professional success. You nurtured us throughout our childhood into adulthood, to ensure that we would both make it in life. We are who we are today, because of the foundation you and ammi together gave us. We witnessed how you nursed ammi, your soul-mate, into good health, like a father in times of illness. We learnt commitment, dedication and loyalty from you.
We will forever remember the values and principles you taught us and the love you gave us, the way you know how. We will miss your wisdom, your kind words, your medical advice, and most of all your precious laughter that would echo through the house. Your loving cards bridged the miles between us, communicating your warmth. We will cherish you in our hearts and hold the wealth of precious memories you left behind.
May the Noble Triple Gem Bless You.
May you attain Nibbana
Padmalal and Amani
A first cousin, neighbour, hostel mate and buddy who will always be missed
Chitrasena Ananda Rodrigo
Senior planter, excellent human being, devout Buddhist, family man, jovial friend and great company best define Chitrasena Ananda Rodrigo who passed away four years ago on June 18, at the relatively young age of 67.
He had his primary education at Trinity College in Kandy and secondary education at Ananda College in Colombo. His father Wilmot Rodrigo himself a Trinitian and proprietary tea planter moved the son to Colombo in the hope of improving his chances of entering university so that he wouldn’t have to depend on family wealth to make a living. Wilmot believed that in the wake of the spread of the Communist doctrine across many countries and notably in China, Ceylon too would become a Communist or Socialist state devoid of private ownership of plantations and other capital assets. He said that only doctors and engineers will be able to enjoy a reasonable standard of living and acceptance in society. He was right to the extent of the nationalisation of plantations, land in excess of 50 acres, bus companies and many other enterprises including petrol import and distribution.
Chitrasena, Chitto to his friends in the plantation industry and Sena to his school friends and his cousins, did not take studies seriously despite the move to Ananda. From the age of six Sena was in the Trinity College hostel with his elder brother Janalal.At Ananda he was again in the hostel although many of his colleagues travelled to school from Panadura where his parents lived. His elder brother continued for some more years at Trinity.
Sena had two first cousins, of roughly the same age, Deva Rodrigo and Chandrasiri Jayaratne (CJ) in the Ananda hostel. This was great for fun but did not augur well for studies and three years later, his father moved him out of the hostel to bring him up at home under his close supervision. About the same time Deva was expelled from the hostel and CJ was also taken out to go to school from Panadura. In the same year for quite different reasons Janalal was brought to Panadura from Kandy and admitted to Sri Sumangala College which produced excellent results at University Entrance examination.
If the three cousins in the hostel at Ananda were a maleficent combination for discipline and schoolwork, at Panadura they became a troublesome syndicate of four with Janalal. We coalesced as buddies and stepped into adolescence. These were some of the best years in the lives of the four of us.
His home Sirvilasa on Gravets Road, Panadura soon became a centre of attraction to Janalal’s friends from Sri Sumangala. Sena, CJ and I were accepted by them as equals. Every evening the badminton court at Sirvilasa had to accommodate about ten of us. Experiences and best kept secrets of adolescence were shared with each other whilst waiting for our turn on the courts. It was on the steps leading to the kitchen wing of this enormous house that we plotted bicycle rides to all corners of the Panadura electorate and the neighbourhood including Bandaragama and Piliyandala; what film we should watch; how to get permission to go out and what mischievous adventure we should embark on. Cycling was a great way of exploring rural life, paddy fields, the shrub-lands and waterways including the Bolgoda Lake that bordered about a third of Panadura from Hirana to the Panadura River that flowed out to the sea at the ‘Moya Kata’.
A few years later after our GCE (Ordinary)Level examinations Sena’s father encouraged the two sons to obtain their driving licence and allowed them to take the car out with friends on Vesak day or to watch cricket matches. The boys couldn’t have asked for more and nothing could have spoilt them any further.
When we were in the senior forms at school, Sena’s mother and father went on a long European tour by ship. His sister Janaki was boarded at the house of one of our aunts and his youngest brother Kamalsiriwas also given in charge to her. That released the house to Sena and Janalal with a few domestic helpers. That was a period of intense play followed by drinks, baila sessions and chats on the veranda of Sirvilasa. Those who indulged over the limit could recover on a bed overnight. Friday evenings were special and that went past midnight till stocks lasted.
After our failed attempts at the university entrance examinations Sena and his brother were packed off to the plantations to train. They were paid only a ‘Sinna Dorai’s’ salary but were allowed to occupy the magnificent proprietor’s bungalow at Kabaragala. One of their maternal uncles, a former officer in the Army was the estate manager and he understood the youthful life of the two teenagers. Sena and his brother had a great time at the estate bungalow. So did his cousins and the innumerable friends who visited them.
The boisterous years ended and Sena sobered up after his marriage. He was fortunate to find Dilani Mendis from Moratuwa, an attractive and accomplished girl from Ladies College. She changed his life but allowed (or had to allow) him to party with his friends the way planters knew best. Dilani gave him the greatest gifts; daughter Diluka and son Preveen.
Sena was the Superintendent of Gallella tea plantation in Maturata when the estates were taken over by the state. With the blessings of his father he joined the State Plantations Corporation where he held progressively responsible positions. He was a cluster director at SPC when the plantations were privatized. At that point he was absorbed by Aitken Spence Plantations and thereafter by James Finlay & Co., where he was employed as a Superintendent of some of their finest plantations. Delma Group in Halgranoya, Duckwari Estate and Madulkele Estate were among the tea gardens he managed with splendid efficiency.
What gave Sena a sense of great achievement was Diluka’s and Preveen’s success at examinations and in their places of work. He lived to see the day his daughter was admitted as a partner of the prestigious law firm Julius & Creasy and his son found employment with Millenium IT as a Systems Engineer. Sena lived to see the birth of his granddaughter Aheli, who filled the last two and a half years of his life with immense happiness. She remembers him to this day with fondness and still refers to him affectionately as ‘Seeya Boy’.
Diluka by her marriage to Ranil Angunawela gave Sena a new friend, her father in law, Brian Angunawela. Their attitudes, traits and interests were a perfect match and they became an inseparable pair.
The additions to Sena’s family and the new friendships enriched his retirement.
On coming back to reside in Colombo Sena rekindled his interest in the Rodrigo Family Friend in Need Society Limited, established in 1838, and served as a vice president until his death. Today there is a fund established in his memory at this society to educate children as he did when he was still amongst us.
He reactivated his connections with Rankoth Viharaya, Panadura where his father and grandfather had been key Dayakas. In conversations with the erudite chief incumbent Venerable Prof. Kahapola Sugatharathana Thero he enhanced his knowledge of the teachings of the Buddha.
Before long he was in the shoes of his father as the first point of contact for all needs of the temple. He led the teams that repaired the roof of the 100 year old Dharma Salawa (Hall) and re-laid the floor of that building. In 2005 and 2012 he persuaded his first cousins to shoulder the responsibilities of the Vassana Pinkama to look after the monks during the rainy season of four months and to attend to all their needs. He was thus, for many years before his passing, a devout Buddhist and a spiritual man.
He gave generously to those in need and helped them in innumerable ways. I was myself a beneficiary of his munificence many years ago when I was building my house. He lent me a large sum of money without hesitation and without interest. He provided for his mother until her death at the age of 90.
His untimely death following a month in hospital unable to recover from a stroke that affected his brain stem was a great loss to many friends and relatives. As a first cousin, neighbour, hostel mate and buddy he was special to me. I miss him deeply.
Chitrasena Ananda Rodrigo was a wonderful man.
Deva Rodrigo