Columns - 5th column

Astrology becomes mind candy for them!

By Rypvanwinkle

The astrologer was famous for making accurate predictions, especially during the past elections. Now, he had a steady stream of visitors and they all wanted to know who the next Prime Minister would be…The first to visit him was Nimal Siripala.
“Why do you think you should get the job?” the astrologer asked.
“Why, I am a senior party member and I am now a President of the World Health Organization, so am I not suitable?” Nimal Siripala asked.

“But,” the astrologer said, “they say you couldn’t even control the dengue epidemic…”
“That is not my fault,” Nimal Siripala said, “so, tell me whether I will get the job…”
“All I can tell you is that the next Prime Minister will have at least part of the name of the present Prime Minister…”
“Then,” Nimal Siripala said angrily, “I won’t get the job...”
“Don’t panic,” the astrologer said, “don’t you have ‘Siri’ as part of your name?”
“Ah, yes, so that indicates I will get the job” Nimal Siripala said and went away happily.
The next to visit him was Maithripala Sirisena.
“Why do you think you should get the job?” the astrologer asked.
“Why, I am the general secretary of the party and I have been so loyal to Mahinda maama, so am I not suitable?” Maithripala asked.
“But,” the astrologer said, “they say they couldn’t control the price of rice because of your involvement in that business…”
“That is not my fault,” Maithripala said, “so, tell me whether I will get the job…”
“All I can tell you is that the next Prime Minister will have at least part of the name of the present Prime Minister…”
“Then,” Maithripala said angrily, “I won’t get the job...”
“Don’t panic,” the astrologer said, “don’t you have ‘Siri’ as part of your name?”
“Ah, yes, so that indicates I will get the job” Mathripala said and went away happily.
The next to visit him was S. B. Dissanayake.
“Why do you think you should get the job?” the astrologer asked.
“Why, I am the most capable among them and I was general secretary of the party before any of the other contenders and I have been Mahinda maama’s friend from my student days, so am I not suitable?” S. B. asked.
“But,” the astrologer said, “they say you left the party and that led to the fall of their government once…”
“That was the correct thing to do at that time,” S. B. said, “so, tell me whether I will get the job…”
“All I can tell you is that the next Prime Minister will have at least part of the name of the present Prime Minister…”
“Then,” S.B. said angrily, “I won’t get the job...”
“Don’t panic,” the astrologer said, “don’t you have ‘Nayake’ as part of your name?”
“Ah, yes, so that indicates I will get the job” S.B. said and went away happily.
The next to visit him was Di Moo Jayaratne.
“Why do you think you should get the job?” the astrologer asked.
“Why, I am the most senior party man alive today and in fact I should have got the job the last time they chose a Prime Minister. I have even got a suit tailored for the occasion, so am I not suitable?” Di Moo asked.
“But,” the astrologer said, “they say you were about to join the Greens at one point…”
“These are all baseless allegations spread by others aspiring for the post,” Di Moo said, “so, tell me whether I will get the job…”
“All I can tell you is that the next Prime Minister will have at least part of the name of the present Prime Minister…”
“Then,” Di Moo said angrily, “I won’t get the job...”
“Don’t panic,” the astrologer said, “don’t you have ‘Ratna’ as part of your name?”
“Ah, yes, so that indicates I will get the job” Di Moo said and went away happily.
Hearing that Nimal Siripala, Mathripala, S. B. and Di Moo were all claiming that they would get his job, Ratnasiri walked in.
“Why do you think you should get the job?” the astrologer asked.
“Why, I already hold the post and I have done nothing to prevent me from doing the job again,” Ratnasiri said.
“But,” the astrologer said, “they say you should now retire and give someone else a chance…”
“Why should I retire when even the Elections Commissioner is not retiring, and besides, Methini was a year older than me when she last took up this post” Ratnasiri said, “but I hear you have been telling several people that they will get the job…”
“Don’t panic,” the astrologer said, “I only gave all of them one piece of advice…”
“And what advice was that?” Ratnasiri inquired.
“That the next Prime Minister will have at least part of the name of the present Prime Minister…”
“But I have the entire name of the present Prime Minister…” Ratnasiri said.
“Yes, you do…” the astrologer said.
Ratnasiri smiled and went away happily.

Top to the page  |  E-mail  |  views[1]
SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
 
Other Columns
Political Column
Basil frontrunner for premiership
5th Column
Astrology becomes mind candy for them!
The Economic Analysis
Central Bank indicates conditions for better economic performance
Lobby
Not issued with this week
Focus on Rights
Different sides of an ugly coin

 

 
Reproduction of articles permitted when used without any alterations to contents and a link to the source page.
© Copyright 2010 | Wijeya Newspapers Ltd.Colombo. Sri Lanka. All Rights Reserved.| Site best viewed in IE ver 6.0 @ 1024 x 768 resolution