Alone with no one to care for them

50 aged men and women have found refuge in a home situated in tranquil surroundings

At the age of 106, all that she has left are memories. Podi Nona smiles and her sightless eyes gleam as she talks of people and places that exist only in her remembrance. With limited hearing, and being bedridden, she needs assistance to perform the most ordinary tasks. Podi Nona has neither friends nor family to call her own - her only son died several years ago, and of her four granddaughters, only one is an occasional visitor.

Who will care for us when we are old and feeble? When those nearest and dearest to us are scattered or no more, and the life that we were familiar with has changed irrevocably – what would we do?

Podi Nona is the oldest resident at the Charles and Roslyn Fernando Elders’ Home located in Horahena, Kottawe, Pannipitiya. Opened by G.D.C. Weerasinghe in 1996 in memory of his grandparents, the home provides shelter and care for over 50 aged men and women, who would otherwise have nowhere to go. In this sanctuary, surrounded by quiet gardens and far away from the lives and people they once knew, they spend their days coping with various illnesses and trying to find ways to pass the time.

Many of the residents have spent their lives serving others, ultimately remaining unmarried and childless themselves. Laisa Nandawathie, who worked as a domestic in a home since the age of seven, says she had a very happy life, cooking, cleaning and helping to raise several children for a family she adored. Now, over 80 years old, her limbs are weak and she is no longer able to even care for herself. “The children loved me, but now they are grown up and have their own lives,” she says tearfully, adding that they do come and visit her in the home from time to time.

Mal Perera, a bachelor in his seventies, is more cynical – “I had relatives, I had friends, but they are no good to me now,” he reflects. Having spent years doing odd jobs around the country, his last employer brought him to the home, where he now spends his days listening to the radio, reading the newspaper or just lying in bed.

Still, having a family or children of one’s own is no guarantee of love and security in one’s old age. Premawathie Mayadunne, in her seventies, is also at this home, despite having ten children - seven daughters and three sons. Afflicted by cancer and several other illnesses, she never speaks of her children or the reasons for her being in the home. Others say they could not get along with their sons or daughters-in-law, and would prefer to stay in the home rather than create disputes in the homes of their children.

Many of the inmates are ill and in need of medical treatment. High blood pressure, diabetes and asthma are among the common ailments. However, there is no visiting physician at present, and just one sick room which can only accommodate a single patient – both are urgent needs at the home, which receives no government assistance and is run entirely on donations. While most of the meals are given as alms by the public, medicine and transport facilities are sometimes hard to come by.

Funeral expenses of the residents are also often borne by the home. L.B.M. Somawathie, who has been the matron at the home for seven years, says that although there is a charge of Rs. 7,500 from the guardians – if any – of the deceased there are many instances in which it is not paid. She speaks with sorrow of several residents who passed away without having seen their children in the last stages of their lives. “Sometimes the children arrive after the funeral, and leave without paying anyway,” she says, adding that her years at the home have taught her to appreciate the realities of life.

“Our society is evolving into a situation where there isn’t any social security for the elderly any longer,” says the founder of the home, Mr. Weerasinghe. The extended family system is in jeopardy and children may no longer have the physical space in their homes to accommodate their parents. “I feel I have constructed a beautiful place for these elders to spend the last days of their lives,” he reflects, adding that he hopes many others would consider investing in such homes for the benefit of the elderly.