Of travel bugs and elephant poaching

My Dear Green Man,

I thought I must write to you, even though you may be in far away India receiving, we are told, a red carpet welcome from Manmohan and his officials.

Do you know, Green Man, that you now remind me of the first and only Minister you served under as his Deputy Minister, the dear departed Foreign Minister Hameed? His initials were ACS but they all called him 'All Countries Seen' because he was more out of the country than in!

I have an uneasy feeling that you too are following his example these days, Green Man. Of course, Hameed was entitled to it because he was Foreign Minister but you are only the Leader of the Opposition and if you ever want to get rid of that job for something better, you should spend more time inside the country than outside it without gallivanting in India, Germany, Norway, and wherever else your travels take you. I don't mean to deprive your travel agent of valuable business but think about that, will you?

Then, Green Man, we also heard that you would have received another letter. Strangely though, this letter appeared in the local newspapers before you could say 'Milinda Moragoda' and probably even before you received it yourself. We hear of someone complaining in public that he is not given his due place in the party. I think you should take that advice too: give him his due place in the party-show him the door, instead of taking him with you to India!

Then of course, there is Professor Gas Labu, who complains because he was invited for levariya and coffee instead of lamprais and caramel pudding. Gosh, Green Man, with friends like these, who needs enemies?

Now, come to think of it most of these people who are demanding reforms in your party are what they call 'eeye pereida UNP kaarayas', aren't they? There is Seeni Bola and Mahinda, there is Professor Gas Labu and there is Rajitha and all of them are in the green camp because they were thrown out from some other party!

Nevertheless it is still true that under you, the Greens have truly become a 'Unanduwak Nethi Pakshaya' and some of that responsibility must fall squarely fall on your shoulders. What is sad though is that even now, nothing seems to be done about it and you are allowing the party to drag on from one internal dispute to another while Mahinda maama poaches one elephant after another, although some of them must necessarily fall into the 'good riddance of bad rubbish' category.

Now, I am not for a moment suggesting that your stepping down and retiring to write your memoirs will solve all the party's problems overnight-in fact, I think it will make matters worse with everyone fighting for the No.2 slot if not the No.1 slot-but it is also high time you got your act together.

Do whatever it is that you have to do-sack people, appoint people, delegate some powers to others-and get the party back on its feet before Maama calls a general election and catches you all napping. Think about it while you sojourn in India, will you?

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha

PS-And if you really feel that you must travel, why not replace New Delhi, Bonn, Oslo and Kuala Lampur with Nikaweratiya, Beliatta, Oluvil and Kebithigollewa in your itinerary? After all, you can't only be visiting these places for a thirty-minute campaign stop when there is an election campaign underway?