 
|
||||||
|
Fighting street harassment
You are walking down a street, minding your own business, probably after a tired day at school or work, and the one thing on your mind is to get home in the shortest time possible and unwind. But suddenly your peace and quiet is rudely interrupted with annoying comments and gestures from strangers of the opposite sex. Typical scenario?
What’s behind it? For most men/guys who indulge in it, the fundamental reasoning behind street harassment is fun and pleasure. They do it, well… just for kicks! Little do they know that their casual or not-so casual remarks, comments and actions can have a great impact on women of any age. “The most amount of street harassment I have experienced was while I was in school a few years ago. Since I lived quite close to my school, I used to walk to and from school. I was harassed verbally almost every day, and even had water (hopefully!) thrown at me by school boys,” says Ashwini* (22). But even now, the harassment continues. “Most often it’s based on physical aspects and also weight-based. I have had things said to me, even if I’m with a male friend,” she says, adding that other young boys in the vicinity and inside shopping malls and so on too, harass women quite often. For Varsha* (23), harassment has come from both young boys and older men. “Whatever you wear and whatever your physical attributes are, you are bound to be subject to street harassment. Usually annoying, and degrading comments and requests are made by these harassers.” Being quite slim by nature, the harassment she has experienced has been insulting on those lines. “Since I am quite over-sensitive when it comes to my weight, especially when I was younger, such comments used to really get me down. For the people who indulge in harassing females, it’s not such a big deal once the moment has passed. But it affects us to quite an extent, and damages your ego and self esteem. They forget, but it gets to us,” she added. Putting up with harassment to quite an extent, Nilusha* (21) has a low regard for people who indulge in such behaviour. “Men are perverts! Well, most men, to be fair, and there is no age limit to it. When I was younger, I had quite a hard time with school boys and even older men, but now it’s more from guys, maybe in their early 30s. These degrading comments are generally directed to your body, your hair and so on.” She has even had quite a bad deal in buses, with even very clear physical harassment taking place.
Street harassment takes place for women regardless of age, and Amana (16) has experienced it quite often. Not being a Sri Lankan national, she does not understand local languages, so most often she does not understand what is being said, but the way she is looked at, and the perpetrators’ body language confirms their intentions. “According to our culture, we generally use the word “Salaam” to greet each other. So I get a lot of these “Salaams” when I’m walking on streets, and that follows with a whole lot more crude-sounding things said in the local languages. Most of the time I don’t know how to react or whether to react at all.” React or ignore? Most women try their best to ignore comments and remarks made by harassers, but is that essentially the best way to deal with the perpetrators? “While I was at school, if I was harassed by my peers, I used to ignore them and walk away. But I guess that was mainly because when you are at that age, you are afraid to confront,” says Ashenka* (23). She adds, “But even now, though I feel I should, I don’t essentially react, because it makes the situation worse.” Varuni* (25), on the other hand, has reacted and shown her displeasure when harassed. “Ignoring doesn’t really help, because they would keep doing it, either to me or to some other female. So I have reacted and said things back when people pass comments. It sometimes takes them by surprise, but most often they laugh it off.” According to her, they obtain a certain sadistic pleasure, if they receive a reaction to their harassment, so giving into that too, is a bad thing. But most often, you are left without a choice, as these remarks and comments hit very sensitive spots. “But since I’m older now, I have learned the art of ignoring, and by habit, I tune out whenever I am approaching a group of guys and even a lone man. You should also look confident, because if you seem nervous, they capitalise on that,” she says. What is most frustrating is the Sri Lankan culture, where more often than not, if a woman is harassed, it is considered she brought it upon herself. Either the way she is dressed or her behaviour is held responsible for the harassment, rather than the perpetrator being held at fault. For Dimanthi* (22), this has been the case most of the time. “If I am being harassed, and I react, people always look at me like I am crazy or over reacting. This is the most frustrating thing. No one ever comes to your rescue, not even other women, and that really gets you down.” “When unknown men make lewd remarks and comments about your body, you feel violated at the end of it. The least you could expect is for someone to stand up for you,” says Nimesha* (23), mirroring her thoughts. What can be done? While most girls we spoke to feel that there should be an authority they could go to, if subjected to such street harassment, others feel that awareness and change in attitude is what we need as a society. “I feel that we should be able to walk into either the police station or some other authority and lodge a complaint, if harassed. It’s all about respect and dignity as an equal human being. We have a right to walk on the street, minus remarks and comments. This freedom or right should not be taken away from us, just because we are women. After all, it’s not like we females make men feel uncomfortable at any given point!” says Tamara* (24). Vindhya (23) feels that awareness and education is what would fix this problem. “Men and women both need to be educated in this regard, since there is a need for an attitude change. While men need to start respecting females of any age, women should realise that they should not tolerate harassment, whether it is verbal, physical, or even if another woman is being subjected to it. The mentality of Sri Lankans need to change in this regard, and this can be done only by awareness.” Though many of you might not be aware of it, street harassment is a form of sexual harassment, which is a crime in Sri Lanka, and anyone who is a victim of it, whatever the degree of harassment, is entitled to lodge a complaint at a police station. So the next time you are smade to feel degraded, insulted or uncomfortable, speak up! (* Names have been changed)
|
||||||
Copyright © 2006 Wijeya Newspapers
Ltd. All rights reserved. |
