5th Column

WW: Remember people have forgotten your past
My Dear Wee Wee,
I thought I must write to you after seeing and hearing you on the idiot box in the past few weeks, especially in the afterglow of your victory at the elections even though it was a combined effort with the blues.

As you must be well aware, Wee Wee, a significant number of people-including Satellite herself- appear to have forgiven your rather gruesome past of the early seventies and the late eighties, because the 'manaapa' votes showed they voted as much for you as they did for the Blues.

But unfortunately, this goodwill you have so tirelessly built up is fast disappearing since the performance of your comrades at the election of Speaker when they chose to launch personal attacks on the Buddhist monks in the House.

Then, don't even try to deny that your comrades are not involved with the posters that appeared overnight condemning the monks because we all know who the experts on poster warfare are, don't we?

Of course, Wee Wee, we can understand why you and your comrades are so upset with the monks. They too are wooing the majority sentiment and considering that our people have an inherent respect for the saffron-robed, they will erode a significant amount of your support. And, they haven't been responsible for the murders of thousands of youth unlike your comrades which adds to their popularity!

Anyway, Wee Wee, we also saw last week some of your colleagues creating history by becoming the first from your party to become cabinet ministers even though there were many hiccups on the way to negotiating that compromise about the Mahaveli ministry.

But pardon me, Wee Wee, many people are still quite puzzled by the attitudes of your comrades towards being in the cabinet and we would like some kind of explanation.

Firstly, your comrades form nearly a third of the ruling party but you have asked for only four ministries in a cabinet of thirty-five where every Tom, Dick and Reginald is a minister. Then, even the four ministries you have asked for are not the most 'popular' or sought after. Let's face it, "Small and Rural Industries" is usually a 'left-over' ministry reserved for the party faithful who have to be given something!

Then, most intriguingly none of your leading personalities have been nominated to the cabinet, you yourself are content to be just a MP, the lean and hungry looking Tilvin is not even in Parliament and we don't know whether Somawansa has already left for his native Britain! Believe me, Wee Wee, people are now beginning to notice these little things and you owe us an explanation about all this…

Of course there are the usual conspiracy theories which say that you will use these ministries to extend your grassroots support and then blame the Blues when things start to go wrong because it is they who hold all the vital ministries. If that is indeed the case, it sounds like a sensible strategy to me because you won't then be blamed for the lack of rain in the hydropower reservoirs or the failure of the peace talks…

Whatever it is, Wee Wee, we must welcome you to the democratic mainstream because you appear to have come a long way from the 'gal katas' and the 'tyre pyres'. Who knows, if everything goes according to plan, in five years time, there may be no SLFP and you could be sharing your subsidised lunch at the parliamentary canteen with a man called Velupillai…

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha.
PS-Be careful of one person though. She took you for a ride once with her promise to abolish the Presidency and you fell for it. Now she is singing the same song again. Just imagine what would happen if she does that and in the process, introduces the first-past-the-post system again. You know who I am thinking of, don't you?

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