Barmy Army gimmicks are to stop a former colony winning
"Thaaththa", Bindu Udagedera asked, "why is a cricket
match like a war?"
"I suppose you can call it a war because both sides want to
win…" Bindu's father Percy said.
"Then,
these matches with England are more like a war on terrorism…"
Bindu said.
"Why do you say that?" Percy wanted to know.
"Why, Thaaththa, they strike at the most unexpected time against
innocent people…"
"When did they do that?"
"Why, they abused Vaas when he was dismissed and Nasser Hussain
allegedly called Murali a cheat and a chucker when he came out to
bat…"
"It is
all part of the plan, Bindu…"
"And what plan is that?"
"They want to create a campaign of doubting Murali's action,
so they can get rid of him…"
"But that is not a very fair way of playing the game, thaaththa…"
Bindu protested.
"But Bindu, you must understand why they are doing that…"
Percy said.
"Why, thaaththa?"
"They
are the inventors of the game and our former colonial masters. So,
even though they don't mind getting thrashed regularly by Australia,
they don't quite like the idea of getting beaten by a tiny third
world country like ours…"
"But thaaththa," Bindu asked, "why should we be at
the receiving end of all this nonsense?"
"It is a bit like the political situation here, Bindu…"
Percy suggested.
"Why do you say that?" Bindu was puzzled.
"Why,
Bindu they have taken over the media from which they regularly send
reports saying there are doubts about Murali's action again…"
"So, have they taken over the area of Defence as well?"
"Well, Umpire Harper is certainly defending them well…"
Percy pointed out.
"So, what can be done about all this, thaaththa?"
Bindu queried.
"Maybe
we can also do what our politicians do…" Percy suggested.
"And what is that?"
"How about appointing a committee to work behind the scenes
while the two sides are fighting it out in public?"
"How would you do that?" Bindu wanted to know.
"Maybe
we can call it the Marvan-Marcus committee like the Mano-Malik committee…"
Percy proposed.
"But, thaaththa that won't achieve anything except creating
a false sense of optimism…"
"Or maybe
we can say that if matters are not resolved we will stop playing
England and play with their arch rivals, Australia, just like Satellite
dealing with the Reds…"
"And we should keep talking to Australia at the same time too,
giving them a sense of hope that we are ready to work with them
to defeat England…"
"But," Percy said, "I don't think that will work
either because getting together with Australia is no good either…"
"Or we
can always threaten to dissolve the current series and start another
series all over again…"
"But everyone would want to avoid that…" Percy said.
"No, thaaththa," Bindu said, "I don't think such
tactics will help in protecting Murali and the others.
Instead, we should be very tough on them…"
"So,"
Percy asked, "what are you proposing?"
"I think we should take Nasser Hussain to court and prosecute
him for defamation…"
"Unfortunately that won't work, Bindu…" Percy said.
"Why is
that, thaaththa?"
"They will present themselves to an acting magistrate on a
poya day and get discharged for lack of evidence…" Percy
said.
"What Clive Lloyd did was not very different…" Bindu
declared.
Percy knew he couldn't disagree with that. |
