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C/O The Sunday Times,
No.8., Hunupitiya Cross Road,
Colombo 2
E-mail: clothesline-lk@yahoo.com
 

Hunger pangs

That's when I ate my pride. It was too hard to bite or chew, so I swallowed it whole. Nearly choked on it, but I managed to get it down. It wasn't enough though, I wanted, needed more. So I boiled my self esteem. Each mouthful more bitter than the last. My stomach growled for more. I whipped up a bowl of pity. Creamy and sweet, it went down easy. 

Love? There hasn't been any of that around here for a long time. No, I stopped looking for that. Instead I drank my tears and belched my apologies. 

Then I found a bit of hope. Stale and moldy as it was, I took a bite. That was a mistake, I couldn't keep it down. Just made room for more. Confidence was a tasty morsel: meaty and juicy. That was it. There was nothing left. I've eaten it all and it's left me so I can't get out of bed (having doubled and redoubled my size). 

But that's OK; I don't need to go anywhere. I'm not hungry, for now. Tomorrow it starts all over again.

Fareez Farook

Alone

Chayanika Atukorala.

Suicide is not the answer

convenient and easy thing to you. When problems keep hampering you and there seems no way out it's quite easy to think - 'why not? Nothing can be worse than what I am feeling'.

I know this feeling. The problems may vary but the stifling emotions are the same. Life seems hopeless and you can't think of one single reason to live. It's no pain to slash your wrist, or throw yourself in front of a bus or train, for the pain inside you is so intense it's almost a relief to feel physical pain.

Believe me I have come very close. When no one cares about you or your feelings, when it seems that even your family and friends seem to be turning away from you, what choice are you left with.

At least at a time when everything is out of control, you have the power to choose - to choose death.

I have come close to making that choice, but I am still alive. And I have one more day for hope. This feeling of being trapped and unhappy seems to haunt me. Even when I forget for a small moment it doesn't really leave me.

But I know suicide is not the answer.

I guess it's hard to believe everything's going to be all right. But as long as you're alive you have one more day to have hope.

If you die, you won't have any hope. Never again will you feel anything.

You're still alive today, you may think - 'yeah I'm just existing and crying my heart out' - but still alive. You still have a chance to put everything right.

You may think no one cares, but there are lots of people out there who feel the same way you do and more people who care for you than you realize. 

I too have gone through this depression. And I thought of you, suffering just like me and it strengthened me to know that someone understood me.

I do care about you. I care whether U live or die. You are a faceless, nameless stranger. You helped me and that's why I am reaching out to you to let you know I care.

A friend

Now you're 20 -let's talk about marriage

I just turned 20 and guess the favourite topic everyone wants to talk to me about - Marriage.

Which happens to be the furthest thing from my mind. I don't want to be tied down. This is the time to have some fun - right? 

I spent almost all of my teen years studying. Don't I deserve a break? 

My parents, relatives, even my trusted friends are talking about marriage. Enlighten me fellow 20's. 

Is this how it is going to be like from now on?

While everyone asks me pointedly about the issue, I try to ignore or be evasive or downright, indignant. But it doesn't help at all.

All my friends want to settle down and they think I should too. Being a girl is definitely against me in this.

Heck, how can I think of marriage when I haven't even met a guy? 

I dream of adventures, mysteries and just plain fun, and of course day dream of one true love who is waiting for me - I hope.

Just 20 and really mad

The state of being

Solitude is a state of being when you are alone. Some say fate creates everything, and fate changes everything. 

Sometimes solitude is an indispensable thing. But sometimes people stay alone thinking himself or herself worthless. One then feels an emptiness, not in the body, but in the soul. An emptiness that cannot be filled. (And sometimes feel that their life is full of.) Solitary emotions can restore and destroy a life as well. 

You have to break those bonds and let yourself live. It will be true victory for you. I know the real world is not compassionate. But you can't attain a perfect life so easily. You will meet two paths in your lifetime - one hard and one easy. If you go the easy way, you will succeed in the beginning. But in the end you'll be completely destroyed. If you go the hard way, you will find agony and dissatisfaction in the beginning. But in the end you'll achieve success. It is up to us to choose the correct path. 

On that day when we unleash ourselves, from solitary emotions and go through all the difficult obstructions in life, a shaft of truth shining with heaven's brilliance, will strike straight into our hearts and give us peace and ultimate happiness. 

Jade Rivi Jayasuriya.

Why is it so?

Mihirani

Atomic Liz collapses backstage

Atomic Kitten star Liz McClarnon collapsed just moments before she was due to perform at an MTV bash.

Liz, 19, and the other members of the chart-topping trio were due to sing their smash-hit single Whole Again at the Dublin Temple on Friday night when Liz suddenly fell to the floor.

Worried Jenny Frost and Natasha Hamilton rushed to help their pal and paramedics were called when they realised Liz was out cold.

Jenny, 23, who replaced former Kitten Kerry Katona when she became pregnant, said: "It was really scary, we just didn't know what was going on with Liz."

"One minute we were all talking and laughing and the next minute she was on the floor."

An MTV insider revealed: "The curtain was just about to be raised as Liz fell on the floor. It was bedlam-no one knew what was going on.

The other girls were screaming and calling out her name, but Liz was out for the count. The ambulance arrived within minutes and she was rushed to hospital.

The two girls had a minute to decide whether to carry on, which they did as two professionals. They gave a very brave but shaky performance because of Liz's collapse." Liz was examined by doctors for an hour, but they couldn't find a reason for her collapse and gave her the all-clear.

Although they advised her to rest, dedicated Liz vowed to perform with the band late last night at a private performance in Belfast.

Liz's health scare comes just weeks after 18-year-old Billie Piper collapsed at a pub while she was out with her boyfriend Chris Evans.

Hurley: not quite over the hill

Not so for 35-year-old model-actress Elizabeth Hurley, who didn't even enter the world of modeling until she was nearly 30. Fashion Wire Daily announced Tuesday that Hurley's contract with Estée Lauder will be renewed to the tune of $3 million, despite earlier rumblings that the cosmetics giant was considering Oscar-winning babe Gwyneth Paltrow as a replacement for gossip girl Hurley, whose recent eyebrow-raising shenanigans are rumored to have upset the company. 

Just two days earlier, various media outlets reported that Hurley is in talks to sign a $4 million-plus deal with the Scottish company that invented the cleavage-creating Ultimo gel bra. That deal would make the skimpily clad Hurley the world's highest-paid lingerie model and would give her more than $7 million for one week's worth of wheeling and dealing.

Jacko: my love for Uri

Uri has revealed how best- man Jacko poured out his feelings as they hugged beneath the chuppah-a special canopy-during the Jewish ceremony earlier this month.

"Michael is an emotional person," Uri told the News of the World. "When he held me and hugged me I could feel total, unconditional love from him. It was one of the most special moments of my life".

Jacko also spelled out his feelings for Uri when he signed a photo of him and his pal. His message reads: "To Uri, you really are a God-send. The world needs you, I need your love."

Although Michael, 42, was two hours late when the psychic renewed his vows to wife Hanna at their mansion, Uri, 54, says he was a perfect guest who even overcame the pain from his broken foot to join in the traditional dances. 

"I was a bit worried when he was late because Michael had the ring," he said. "But in the end everything was fantastic. It was amazing to see him dance on his crutches."

The pals shared another private moment at the wedding when the psychic used his powers to heat up a crystal in the singer's hand. "It became so hot that he could barely hold it," said Uri.

Michael and Uri have teamed up to publicise the Heal The Kids Foundation, which aims to encourage better relationships between parents and children. Find out more about it on www.urigeller.com.

Cindy's future changes colour

Revlon's new president, Jeffrey Nugent, announced this week that Crawford's time was up, hinting to the public that the make-up firm was heading for a new look. 

"They don't want the story out there that they're firing me because I'm too old," Crawford growled to columnist Jeannie Williams today. "That will alienate a lot of customers." Crawford is 34. 

Once the world's highest-paid stick figure, Crawford is now frustrated that a company she was loyal to for most of her adult life has let her down. "I kind of knew what I needed [in order] to stay, financially," she told Williams. "I've been with them long enough that I feel either I'm doing a good job and you reward me for this, which is a raise, or I'm not, and you let me go." 

Actress Melanie Griffith, 43, may also be in hot water with Revlon. Two weeks ago, claims surfaced that Griffith's Revlon contract is in jeopardy because of her recent admission to rehab. 

A source close to Revlon, which hired Griffith to hawk its Age Defying foundation, told MSNBC columnist Jeannette Walls that the cosmetics corporation is "quite unhappy [about] this latest development." 

A spokeswoman for Revlon would not comment on Griffith's drug problem, except to say, "We have a long-standing relationship with Melanie Griffith and respect her privacy at this time."

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