Love him or damn him?

By Ayesha R. Rafiq

It's a familiar story. There are all the tell- tale signs, but you're not quite sure. Do you confront him, and demand to know, or do you trust your partner of so many years, and force yourself into thinking that it's all a figment of your imagination.

Then one day, you find out it's true. What's worse, he first denies it, then admits it. This would be hard enough to grasp normally. But when your husband is the President of America, and when details of his affair are national and international property, the anger, humiliation and hurt you feel must be so much harder to bear.

What would you do, when you find out it's supposedly not his first time? That the "other woman" is practically half your age, and young enough to be his daughter.

That after all the support and encouragement you have given him to get him where he is today, this is the thanks you get.

Would you stand by your man, the way America's First Lady Hillary Clinton has done in the face of sordid revelations about his affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky? Do you admire her for her decision, or do you think she should leave him?

The Sunday Times asked a cross section of women, and some men, for their views.

Dr. Saroja Atapattu said she admired Hillary for standing up for her husband, even though she "must be suffering like hell."

She feels that what President Clinton did is forgivable, and that therefore he deserves all the support he can get.

Sudassana de Silva, a 21-year-old student at the National Institute of Business Management (NIBM), says that since Clinton eventually confessed to the affair, she would expect Hillary to stand by him. "A wife should always stand by her husband, so I think Hillary is doing what any other woman should do."

Chrishantha Jayasinghe, a 30-year-old advertising executive, takes a less compassionate stand on the issue.

"I don't admire her for what she's doing, because I feel she's power hungry, and is putting on a front to further her own gain.

"I certainly wouldn't stand by my wife if she did something like that, and I wouldn't expect her to stand by me either."

Raslin Siraj who works at Young Asia Television, feels that she has to stand by him, because, "Clinton has not done anything really bad."

" Since she would not want him to lose popularity, as what he gets, she gets, she has no choice but to stand by him," he said.

Dr. Wimala De Silva, Chairperson of the National Committee on Women, feels that one cannot really comment on this sort of situation, until you're in it.

"If Hillary feels that Clinton needs her help, and if she feels that this is an unnecessary fuss about something many Americans seem to do, then I suppose it is okay for her to support him".

Teruni, a 23-year-old law student, says that since Clinton has been unfaithful to his wife, he is not worthy of her support.

"What he has done is demeaning to women in the broader sense, because cheating on your wife is one way of demeaning her in public. But I admire Hillary very much for what she is doing, because I feel she is strong as a woman," she said.

Anthea Cruz, 52-year-old lawyer, feels although Hillary should not stand by Clinton for the way he has treated her, realistically, she has no choice.

"Hillary obviously knows that if Clinton falls, she falls with him."

Bathiya Jayakody, a third year undergraduate, says that Hillary is an excellent wife for standing by Clinton in such a situation.

He also admires her, but says he's not sure "whether she is not doing it to gain something for herself as well."

Twenty-eight-year-old Maleec de Silva thinks Hillary is a little like Lady Macbeth, because she is standing by her husband even though the whole world seems to be against him.

She feels Hillary is hanging in there because she has to, because if she doesn't, everything could just collapse and she would have to leave the White House.

Sairandre Wijeratne says Hillary is a strong person for supporting her husband in this manner.

While many of the people we interviewed felt either that Hillary was standing by her husband to further her own political agenda or that she had to do so because he was such a public figure, some of them seem to take the view that Clinton had made an unforgivable mistake, and that he deserved nothing more than to have his wife leave him.

In such a situation would you, in the words of the song, stand by your man and show the world you love him, or make him pay for his mistakes?

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