FAQ's
Ever since I started this e- mail thing I've found
that the people who read this column are a very inquisitive bunch. They
want to know everything. Which is pretty scary if you're me. 'Cos I just
want to sound off every Sunday and not have anybody know too much about
me. It makes life much easier for me just to be "Kenny" on one
day of the week, with people breezing through my little corner of the world
on their way to the cartoon section.
So all you people who asked personal questions aren't going to get any
real answers from me, 'cos I don't want to tell you. Surely, none of you
who wanted to know who I was actually expected me to just tell you? What
I will do though, is answer the top five most frequently asked questions
about this column. Because frankly, I've got nothing else to write about
this week. So here are the top five in no particular order.
5. Are you a girl?
I am determined to take this question as a compliment. No, I am pretty
sure that I am not a girl. But I do like to dress up in high heels and
stockings sometimes.
4. Are you a Sri Lankan?
Now I must admit that this question bugged the heck out of me. On the
surface the question seems innocent enough. The answer is simple too. Yes,
I am a Sri Lankan. I was born here, and have spent all but five days of
my life in this country. So why am I bugged? Well I'm bugged because of
what the question implies. Is there any reason a Sri Lankan can't write
a weekly English column? If there is, no one ever told me. It's questions
like this that keep a brother down.
3. How did Kenny's World start?
Now this one's kind of a long story. Around last September, having just
finished my A levels, I decided that I should do something to kill time.
Although I knew it was a long shot, I thought it might be fun to write
a column type thingy to the newspapers and wrote a few examples in my spare
time.
It was by chance that I managed to get an interview with the editor.
I was very excited of course, having no real idea of how slim my chances
probably were. So quite simply, I strolled in off the street one day, and
showed the stuff that I'd done to the editor. I walked out of the building
ten minutes later quite confident that I would never hear from them again
— until they called me back two weeks later telling me that I had a job.
2.Why is your column called Kenny's world?
This one's an even longer story. You see, I was so confident that they
wouldn't call me back, that I hadn't even thought of a proper name for
a column. So when my editor called and told me that they would be using
the stuff I had shown them in a column, and asked me what I would like
it to be called, I had no idea what to say.
Then came an even bigger twist — they had a suggestion. "We want
to call it 'Annie and Kenny'." I was absolutely dumbstruck. Annie
was a name I had used in one of the articles I had given in.
"Annie", although that wasn't her real name, was based on
a real person. And it was obvious to her, and the others who knew the story,
who she was. My thoughts immediately flew to her large boyfriend who works
out regularly.
If I let them name the column "Annie and Kenny," I wouldn't
live long enough to enjoy seeing it in print.
So I begged and pleaded with them to let me come up with another name
—they gave me half an hour. I didn't want to pull a fuss before I even
started, but I didn't want to be broken in half by an unreasonable boyfriend
either. I could tell they were annoyed because I think they had everything
ready to go ahead as "Annie and Kenny". I think even that stupid
old logo of the boy and girl this column used to have, was a leftover from
this idea. I had called myself Kenny in the articles I had handed in, so
I thought I'd at least keep that name in to appease the editor. I had taken
the name Kenny from the character Shadoe Stevens played in the sit-com
"Dave's World". If you haven't figured it out by now, you never
will.
1.Why is there a picture of you in a tub?
For some reason people seem to think that that I have a rather cynical
style. Many people have told me this. I kind of have to agree with them.
I am rather cynical in the way I look at things. So when I got an opportunity
to change my logo, I asked them if they could draw me as a guy in a tub.
You see, there used to be a group of philosophers in ancient Greece
called Cynics. The most famous of these Cynics was a guy called Diogenes
who lived in a tub. Go figure.
Any feedback (comments\criticisms) on this column or cool ideas and
suggestions can be e-mailed to (Short e-mails please!) at this address
<kenny@something.orother.com>.
Love
can conquer all!
My darling Daughter,
I knew you'd write and tell me that I am wrong to place the onus
of keeping the love in a marriage on the woman. I agree. Both husband and
wife must work together to preserve and maintain that love they pledged,
but what I say is that a woman can help keep aglow that love. In an age
where equal rights are demanded by women, confusion certainly takes place
in the new household, when the husband used to the maternal care suddenly
finds that his young wife demands that he does the laundry or the cooking
or whatever.
A woman, daughter, should know how she can manipulate her man to
do what she wants - after all Eve did persuade Adam to eat of the apple.
But she persuaded never demanded, if she had demanded Adam would have refused
and the history of the human race may have been different! But seriously
daughter, a woman can persuade her husband to help her. After all, he loves
her and wants to make her happy. He spends time in office, works overtime
and generally comes home tired and weary expecting a warm welcome and maybe
something good to eat. If he has to listen to her complaints, if the house
is cluttered or she is waiting for him to go with her to purchase the dinner
- well the poor man will wonder what made him change his existence to fall
in love!
This is especially so where the wife does not go out for work.
You will I think say it works vice versa too , but what I am telling
you is that a wife can persuade her husband to do what she wants if she
is tactful and understanding - not demanding or believing that anger and
argument can get her way. A husband will certainly help in household chores
if he feels that his wife needs him, not if he feels that she demands it
of him.
With my many years of experience, whatever the impressions the modern
world has created, the psyche of a man or woman has not changed, the woman
is the maker of the home. She symbolizes the tenderness and gentleness
of love. It is she who makes the home the centre of happiness. In the Eastern
mind this is specially so. As you know even the so-called liberated woman
when she has a son longs to give him all the care he wants. No wonder when
he marries he feels that his wife too should have those qualities his mother
had.
Quite wrong you'd say. I agree, but it requires a wife's persuasion
and patience to change him. I am sure you will have a lot to disagree with
what I've written, but one thought I would like to leave with you daughter.
Love, affection and understanding can create a happy marriage, not
confrontations, argument and anger. Never demand what you can obtain with
affection.
Remember love can effectively and positively give you what you want
if you have a little bit of patience and understanding.
Ammi
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