My Dear Santa,
Everyone writes to you before Christmas, so just this once I thought of writing to you after Christmas, to thank you for all the presents you brought us throughout last year.
For starters, Santa we must thank you for allowing Satellite rule for another year, without any major upheavals. Of course, the lady has her little faults - she’s always late, she doesn’t believe in giving bread at three fifty and she interferes with train tenders and all that - but if an Executive Boss can’t do such simple things, what’s the big deal in doing politics, sticking your neck out for Velu to do a demolition job?
Then, Santa, you gave us a reshuffle last year, and we have to thank you for that. Of course, some good people lose the jobs they were suited for - including Mahinda and Dharme - but at least the man in charge of doctors was put in charge of conductors.
In sports we reached great heights, didn’t we, Santa? We won several cricket tournaments and lost only one. Sanath nearly broke a world record but most of all, young Seeni Bola made sure there was absolutely no discrimination between males and females in sports, didn’t he?
In our national sport - the war in the North - you gave us a year of even exchanges. Santa. Anu is still fighting and so is Velu. But, even here, Santa, you gave us a better deal with only one bomb blast that killed a dozen people. In ’96, remember, there were two bomb blasts - at Central Bank and at Dehiwela - killing nearly two hundred. Now that’s progress isn’t it, so I can’t understand why everyone is blaming Anu for the war! (But, I must admit he shouldn’t have called the latest Test series, ‘Jaya Sikurui’ which must be embarrassing now, after over seven months. Next time when he picks, a name, Santa, ask him to consult Arisen Ahubudu or somebody like that...)
Overseas, Santa, we didn’t do badly. Satellite made trips to India, Pakistan, Korea, Dubai etc. etc; but Kadi stole the show, getting the Tigers banned in the United States. So in ’98 Santa, you must be fair and give GL, Kadi’s rival “intellectual” in the cabinet, a better deal. Please remember that, will you? (We all enjoy a fight for the No. 2 spot. Remember those days of Gam Udawa vs Mahaveli vs. Mahapola?)
As far as the economy is concerned, everyone says the chips are down, but I wouldn’t believe that, Santa. If it is that bad, why would the Koreans buy our Steel Corporation and why would the Pakistanis want our Cement Corporation? And now the Japanese have bought Telecom and the Aussies, despite Shane Warne, want to take over the Colombo Port! Of course, we maybe left with nothing for ourselves, but with such a demand, can we complain about the economy, Santa?
What was sad about ’97, Santa, was that you took away from us three stars of yesteryear - Daha, Pieter and now Bernard. With their passing, so soon after JRJ in late ’96, a generation of a different mould of politicians has come to an end. I’m not so sure that those who have replaced them are of the same calibre...
Anyway, Santa, as I have said, ‘97 was a mixed bag. I hope that in ‘98, you would give us a bigger, better deal. But as the Daily Noise and the TV keep reminding us it’s only 31 more days for the fiftieth anniversary of Independence and Old Charlie will be here to sing Namo Namo Matha. So, you have to give us something special this year...
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS - What will you give young Ranil in ‘98, Santa? Will it be another year of say-nothing-do-nothing, the same old Unanduwak Nethi Pakshaya? Come on Santa, maybe we, the people, get the government we deserve; but I think we have also got an Opposition that we don’t deserve...
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