The Fifth Column

16th June 1996

7 days in the week

Friday - Had to meet that Pakistani chap, Ali. Must be a bit off his nut, I thought to suggest that we intervene to settle the Kashmir dispute between India and Pakistan, as if I don't have enough trouble on my hands already. And the cheek of him to tell the newspapers that I "responded positively". All I did was to smile my charming smile and wink at Kadi! Anyway, he himself was quite charming with his black hair and very white beard. What I really wanted to know was not the "warmest regards" from Benazir but which part of his head he dyed - his hair or his beard....

Saturday - Thought I'd give the corporation bosses a bit of a pep-talk. Preme used to do it all the while, so they should be able to tolerate me this once. The whole Cabinet is grumbling that the corporations still work as if they were run by UNP people, so I told them that they should do what we want them to do or get out of the way. Most would have got the message, but I think I saw several of them falling asleep while I was talking and yes, I did note them down....

Sunday - Amma has written to the papers saying she was not invited to Anu's wedding. What she did not say was that even if she was invited, she probably wouldn't have attended, anyway. Must tell her not to make these family matters public. Poor Anu, the papers are making such a song and dance of his wedding. Ah, but what no one knows is whether I was among those present or not and I'm not going to tell them either - I learnt a lesson once, flying away when Kolonnawa was on fire....

Monday - There are rumours that G.L. wants to call it a day and sit in as a backbencher but I shouldn't let him go. After all, I even sacrificed A.S. for his sake now this is what he wants to do. And I do like the way he pouts after he makes what he thinks is an important statement! I really don't know whether it is the finance portfolio that he wants. Bala is suggesting that he is angry because I gave A.S. the Governor's job and A.S. gets to sign the currency notes while G.L. has nothing to sign. Ah, must have a quiet chat with the man. These Professors are after all, peculiar fellows....

Tuesday - Dharmasiri has suggested that we lift the censorship. Now, I know that he thinks he is the Media Minister but he shouldn't shoot his mouth off like that. Luckily, he said that we should also ask the Defence Ministry. Anu, of course won't approve of it, because he was asking whether we could censor news of his wedding saying it was "military related"! I told him 'no' but he was arguing saying that it could pose a security threat and all that.

Wednesday - Someone has said that our tea was poisoned and Thonda suggests that I drink a cup on TV, just to dispel any doubt. How could I, I asked him, what if it is indeed poisoned and I drop dead? Must not trust Thonda after what he did to Ratnasiri. Anyway, asked Kadi to issue a statement. As for drinking tea on TV, I asked him to do it if he really wants to....

Thursday - It's really windy day and though the drought has ended, floods have begun, they tell me. Bala tells me that the Mulberry Group calls me 'niyang kumari' because I brought the drought with me. Wonder what they will call me now? Should I visit the flood-ridden areas? Gave that some thought, but decided against it because the sight of me tucking up my saree and wading in the waters won't make a pretty picture though the papers would love it; so, sent Fowzie instead because he loves the publicity anyway....

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