The Gossip Column

24th March 1996

By Our Gossip Columnist


Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil

Brief encounter

Talk of doing the right thing the wrong way - or shall we say, saying the right thing in the wrong place.

Our Embassy in Washington, D.C., has placed an advertisement, thanking all those who sent messages of sympathy on the Central Bank bombing. The ad was placed in the prestigious Washington Post's classified section. That's where the rates are cheap no doubt.

But what has happened is that the brief (no pun intended) ad has been positioned next to some lingerie ads displaying panty hose etc.

Rather inappropriately positioned we thought.

Golden silence

Private Management Companies who have been invited by the Board of Directors of the Government owned Plantation Companies they manage, for the latter's Annual General Meeting have been informed that the invitation sent them is conditional to their remaining dumb during the proceedings. The specific instruction sent out in writing is that their representative "is not authorised to speak at the meeting."

Some Management Companies who wish to please the new Plantation Tsars at any cost contemplate sending representatives of theirs who are legally certified as deaf and dumb so that they adhere to the conditions of the invitation to the letter to avoid any chance of misunderstanding by default and therefore ensure that like the three wise monkeys they:

Hear no evil, see no evil or speak no evil

What price transparency?

Flying party

This party was no ordinary one. It was 40,000 feet above sea level and the sleek jet was healing to the fabled city of Lahore where Sri Lankans were locked in battle with Australia for the World Cup.

All of them be it first, business or economy class were in exhuberant spirits. After all, the champagne they served though not Don Perignon was close to it.

He worked his way down from bottoms up. When the flight landed instead of being driven to the crowded stadium, he was driven straight to a hospital. He had suffered an alcoholic coma and those who admitted him were told he would require many days of medication.

But the young man was lucky. Fortunately for him, the flight was delayed since it was to pick up the victorious Sri Lankan team. The man who recovered insisted he should leave. He boarded the flight.

But what puzzled his fellow travellers upon arrival was the young man's presence at the Duty free complex of the airport.

Whilst reception ceremonies were underway, our young man bought up a couple of litres of Scotch. Customs officials were sharing the glory of the World Cup victory. They waved him through.

But the uniformed relatives of the young man were not quite happy with the performance. Nothing makes him drink the way he does - he's a volunteer, remarked a family member.


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