I happened to see a comedy of two friends going camping, however they had a heavy load in their vehicle. Yet, they were ignorant that they failed to take a lighter to ignite the fire. Even though it was a comedy, it surely is an eye opener towards our behaviour. Sometimes we become blind whilst [...]


Focusing on the Minor Chords and Ignoring the Major


I happened to see a comedy of two friends going camping, however they had a heavy load in their vehicle.

Yet, they were ignorant that they failed to take a lighter to ignite the fire. Even though it was a comedy, it surely is an eye opener towards our behaviour. Sometimes we become blind whilst setting forth our priorities. This has led many lives into disastrous consequences. All of us acquire only limited resources in life, nevertheless we have exceeding dreams.

Therefore, be vigilant. Prioritise your resources wisely within these innumerable dreams. Just think how you would utilise the available water during a water cut. You are so afraid of wasting even a single drop of water as there is only a limited reserve of water to keep up with all your requirements.

But what would happen if you happen to use that water to water the plants instead of saving it to brush the children’s teeth, wash your face, cook some food for the entire family and also to reserve some in case you might need some for use in the toilet.

This is what a lot of people do in their lives. They struggle to the core, as they constantly focus on the minor chords ignoring the major chords. You must be aware of the main necessities if you are to play a song.

Though the minor chords can magnify the beauty of a song you cannot even think of playing a song without the major chords, as the foundation of the chords are based on the major chords.

My friends invite me to various parties where alcohol is consumed, which I vehemently refuse as it is pointless for a man who has no intention of having a dog to visit a dog show.

What he is actually doing is investing his resources on an unwanted pursuit. After spending almost half of the day at the dog show, he heads home frustrated, yelling at the people at home saying that he does not have time to finish off some of his important work.

I have told my friends that participating in their drinking sessions does not even exist in my priority list.

I told them “Why don’t you guys invest these Friday nights on your loved ones rather than destroying your time and money on alcohol and other useless actions, which do not contribute even a drop of happiness towards your life”. I have done all this to its maximum, I have found out that they are futile. While I was in Australia.

I invested most of my time and money on my friends, yet, when I was lost and hopelessly roaming down the streets of Melbourne, I realised that I have been focusing on worthless things that would not add any value to my life.

As of now, I have only five (5) good friends, that is of course quite sufficient as per my view. You need to learn to categorise the people that you associate with as “Jolly Pills” and “Tear Pills”.

 It is absolutely alright to surround yourself with people who emit joy to your life, yet it can be highly detrimental to be around people who simply absorb your energy and ultimately offer you the pain of rejection and tears.

Let me ask you a question, do you have a list of long term dreams and a detailed priority list, which you refer to on a daily basis? If you do not have one, then  you are no different to a man who gets into the train to Nuwara Eliya when his actual intention was to visit his dying mother in Matara.

As a kid, I considered eighty (80) years as a long journey. I thought I could do almost everything I wanted in life by the age of eighty (80). Nevertheless, when I look back I realise that I have already spent half of the eighty years and it feels as though I have lived for just twenty (20) years. This is how fast time flies.

Therefore, focus on your major chords, if not you will never be able to enjoy the beauty of the song of life. It is not just the people we associate, but also the things we choose to make us happy that needs to be categorised as “contributive” and “destructive”. A lot of people are addicted to many worldly pleasures such as dramas, Facebook, Instagram, food, music and books.

When I was a young boy, there was a specific song which I used to listen to more than twenty (20) times a day. Later, I perceived that I was just using it as an alternative drug to relive in my hurtful past.

The song made me further negative and sad in life. If I had deviated my attention towards something encouraging, I could have easily bounced back much earlier. Some books you read are slowly and surely converting your thought patterns towards pain and bitterness. Similarly, certain dramas and books will attempt to justify what you have lost in life. Therefore, reading such books influences you to feel happy just the way you are as your pattern of thinking  signals to you that it is alright to live like a loser because of the things that have happened to you.

Recently, my daughter Esther broke a lovely glass, at that moment she told me “Thaththi I’m sorry, it was an accident”. I embraced her at once and said “Wow, you are a super honest girl”. My comment made her really happy.

I knew that I cannot bring back that broken glass, but I can surely motivate Esther to live an honest life which will become a major factor of success in her life, than the broken pieces of glass, which cannot make any difference at all.

Unless you train your mind to prioritise the ‘most important’ and the ‘least important’ in any situation, you will continue to wander like a stray dog. Your mind should be trained to be a lion, sharp and focused and not merely a stray dog who is used to a hedonistic lifestyle. Someone who lives with the attitude to live with whatever it gets.

As I started my life for the second time all I had in my possession was a tattered twenty rupee note in my rugged blue jeans.

Yet, I had a big list of dreams and I was focused on prioritising the major against the minor. Last month, we as a family made a strong decision to stop eating from restaurants as it is not going to contribute towards a healthy life cycle.

In order to make these firm decisions your mind must be still. If not, it will be strenuous to make strong decisions. As we all are aware it would certainly be very difficult to study inside a noisy factory. But you can easily study when you are in a calm and quiet place. External noises are surely a disturbance to your thinking.

My wife spoke to my son Joshu, and told him “Son, if you sacrifice and commit yourself towards your studies during these five (5) years, then your next sixty (60) years will surely be beautiful. But, if you decide to focus on things that gratify you temporarily, your next sixty (60) years will turn out to be miserable”.

A simple yet a very profound equation, isn’t it? I refer to this as the happiness meter. Just as a thermometer would do, why not take your situation through an evaluation process to quickly evaluate the positive and negative impact of the available options.

Once you are accustomed to this decision making style then even when you want to purchase something as simple as a nice dress, this pattern will be activated and it will evaluate if it is the right time to buy it or not.

There are a lot of youngsters who have entered marriage prematurely out of impatience. Down the line they suffer immeasurably and choose to skip a level, rather than investing in stabilising themselves to elevate to the next level.

Therefore, do not expect life to offer you fruits before the flowers bloom, as that is not how it is meant to be according to the original manual.

Train your mind to go through the original process. The moment you deviate from the original manual there is a possibility that you may have to go through chaos.

For comments:
philipnehri@chandanalepa.lk  / voice: 0779 526 496


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