Looking out for those around us and how to ask ‘RUOk?’
Australia recently celebrated ‘RUOk? Day’ where people are encouraged to have meaningful conversations with friends and loved ones that could potentially save lives. ‘RUOK?’ is a suicide prevention charity in Australia working towards educating the general public on mental health and suicide awareness.
This really brings to light the importance of checking in with those around us in our homes, workplaces, universities and schools and also the necessity to have conversations that take the focus off of us and puts it on someone else. Sri Lanka as a nation still has a dearth of helping professionals, though the status has improved over the past years. Hence, the need for us as a community to take on the onus of caring for each other. We live in an age where technology is a major asset in our everyday lives, contributing to productivity, convenience and connectivity.
However, our relationships with devices, the increased need for virtual stimulation and information has distanced us from the most fundamental fabric that holds us together; human relationships.
It is not often that we look up from the devices we use, make eye contact, smile and acknowledge the presence of another individual in our midst.
This sense of disconnectedness in an age of hyper connectedness leads to isolation even in the presence of others.
The stigma and taboo around emotional health in Sri Lanka and also the pressure by society to ‘be positive’ and to feel positive emotions holds us back from initiating conversations and of course reaching out for support. It can also prevent us from acknowledging our own wounds. We fear what we will not be understood. This puts our community in a vicious cycle in which people are told to ‘get over it’, ‘man up’, to not be a ‘drama queen’ etc. The stigma continues to hurt us. We must break the silence as a community, and build a culture where it is okay to talk about difficult feelings and experiences. Talking does not make things worse, it always makes things better.
(The author of the article is a Counselling Psychologist, mental health advocate and trainer).
| Conversation starters when asking ‘RUOk’ | |
| “Hey, you don’t seem your usual self these days, is everything okay”? “I’ve noticed that you seem low, in the past few days. What’s going on”? “Hey, how is your day going today”? Roadblocks to initiating conversations about mental health 1. It will make things worse. Roadblocks to listening So, what if the person says ‘I am not okay’? – how to initiate a conversation
Try not to leave right away, but say something like ‘I am here, if you want to talk’, ‘Can I just sit with you’? ‘I am ready to listen to you when you feel ready to talk’. Check in with the person via a phone call or a text, let them know that you care and that they are not alone. Take a step, ask the question, and break the silence. |