My Dear Cyril Ramaphosa, I thought I must write to you even though you would have visited our country and left our shores by now because your visit here seems to have generated a lot of controversy, reminding me of an old, political slogan which was very successful twenty five years ago: ‘May kawda? Mokada [...]

5th Column

Cyril’s fillip to peace tourism

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My Dear Cyril Ramaphosa,
I thought I must write to you even though you would have visited our country and left our shores by now because your visit here seems to have generated a lot of controversy, reminding me of an old, political slogan which was very successful twenty five years ago: ‘May kawda? Mokada karanne?’

Of course, we know who you are, at least officially. We know that you are the Deputy President of South Africa and also the Deputy President of the African National Congress which is the ruling party of your country and, like the ruling party in our country, a coalition of different parties.

We have been told that you are effectively the No. 2 in the South African leadership. I only hope that your job is very different to our No. 2, Di Moo, whose job these days is to smile from ear to ear and read a statement prepared by someone else in Parliament without knowing what he is talking about!

Anyway, Cyril, it is the ‘Mokada karanne’ aspect of your visit that seems to be puzzling. No one seems to know why you suddenly decided to visit us or what you were doing while you were here and that seems to have raised the suspicions of many people, some even saying that you are up to no good.

It baffles me that some were opposing your visit even before you set foot in Sri Lanka. Of course, being from the same country as Navi Pillay doesn’t help because of what she has done, but that doesn’t mean that we would oppose Nelson Mandela had he wanted to visit our country, would we?

We had people like Champika and Wimal telling us that your visit would amount to an interference in our affairs but then, that is nothing new, is it? We have the Indians, the British and even that Sison lady telling us every day how we should be running our country as if this was one of their colonies!

Then, for a moment, all our suspicions were allayed. That wonderful man Wimal, who is never out of the news for long, told us that you were here as a tourist and nothing more. And what could be more correct, especially when everyone tells us that tourism in our country is growing by leaps and bounds?

Of course, I told myself, there is no need to worry. Cyril must be here to take in the sights and sounds of Sri Lanka just like what more than a million tourists did last year. And what better time to do it than when your country’s cricket team is touring here, so you could take in a game or two as well?

Pardon me, Cyril, but that is when all the confusion set in. They tell me that during your visit here, you have met Mahinda maama, Prof. Geneva Losing, the short and stout Nimal and Uncle Ranil. Why, you have even visited the North and met the two golden oldies, Sampanthan and Wigneswaran.

Believe me, Cyril, you should seriously consider changing your travel agent for he seems to have misled you. Tourists visiting our country usually visit places like Kandy, Sigiriya and Anuradhapura to see our ancient heritage or travel to Yala in the South or enjoy the sun, sea and sand in our beaches.

I can understand why you met the professor in the hope of seeing ancient ruins and met Nimal, hoping to get an idea of accelerated development. Seeing Uncle Ranil would help you understand the lasting effects of terrorism and Mahinda maama illustrates the many benefits of winning the war.

Even so, Cyril, your itinerary baffled most of us, especially because there is a theory that you are some kind of ‘peace envoy’. For many years that meant ‘Solheim’ to us and I can assure you that name is now a dirty word to most Sri Lankans. We hope you don’t suffer the same fate.

We are also confused because Mahinda maama has been telling all those who care to listen to him that we don’t need to be told what we should do by the Indians, the British, the Americans or the UN. We can settle our differences, he says, although some — such as the various ‘sena’ — have other ideas.

We do appreciate your visit, Cyril. Next time you visit us though, please stay with us for a few more days. Then, Dayasiri and Harin can show you how successful we are in sports but if your holiday is long enough I am sure Gnanasara will show you a glimpse of our exciting and ferocious wildlife!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: There is a theory that Mahinda maama wants you here to show the world that he is doing something about our problems. We know our cricketers can beat the South Africans when the occasion demands but it seems our politicians can beat yours too because the best way to beat Navi Pillay is to get you to do it. Mahinda maama’s motto seems to be, ‘Set a South African to catch a South African’!

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