My Dear Mahinda maama, I am writing to you because I heard that there are many invitations going around this week making everyone quite uncomfortable, even though you have just returned from China which too sent you an invitation to visit their country. First, there was Modi sending you an invitation from India asking you [...]

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From intervention to invitation

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My Dear Mahinda maama,
I am writing to you because I heard that there are many invitations going around this week making everyone quite uncomfortable, even though you have just returned from China which too sent you an invitation to visit their country.

First, there was Modi sending you an invitation from India asking you to attend his inauguration. I am sure it must have come as a surprise to you because of the bad blood between the two countries in recent times but it must also be Modi’s way of saying that he wants a new beginning, isn’t it?

I was just wondering what you would say to Modi? After all, you two have a lot in common. Like you, he too now enjoys an absolute majority in Parliament. Also, both of you have been accused of not caring too much about minorities and both of you have been accused of abusing human rights!

And, to cap it all, while you have been battling resolutions from Uncle Sam at the United Nations in Geneva for several years, Modi has been denied a visa by Uncle Sam for many years and Britain doesn’t want to deal with him either. If nothing else, you could talk about your common enemies!

Mahinda maama, I am sure he will ask you what you feel about issues such as the 13th Amendment or withdrawing the Army from the North, so I hope you are prepared for that. You couldn’t go on forever making promises that you can’t keep, could you?

Talking about invitations, I heard that Jayalalithaa has refused to accept Modi’s invitation for his inauguration — and that is because you would be attending. Now, that is Modi’s problem and not yours but you seem to have this talents of getting people to boycott events that you attend, don’t you?

Why, there was that Canadian chap who didn’t want to attend the Commonwealth Summit because it was being held in Colombo and already some people are now making noises about not attending the next Commonwealth Games because you happen to be the chairperson of the Commonwealth now!

I don’t think you should be too worried about Jayalalithaa though, because if she and Modi start off on the wrong foot, we wouldn’t mind that at all. And, it is not as if Modi desperately needs Jayalalithaa’s support to stay in power because he has an absolute majority from just his own party!

Then I also heard that you had invited good old Wigneswaran to join you on your visit to Modi’s inauguration. I must say that as far as public relations exercises go, that would have been a real winner — but he refused to go along with that, didn’t he?

I am told he politely declined your invitation saying that it would convey an impression that his party and you are working together quite well. Now we all know that is not the case and I think both parties are equally at fault for that sorry state of affairs.

You can’t blame the poor man though. On the one hand, he has to deal with you and on the other hand, he has to contend with those of his brethren who want him to declare a separate state and cut off all links with you. Remember, he took a lot of flak for taking his oaths before you, didn’t he?
Then I heard that, despite your busy schedule and having to pack your bags once again to attend Modi’s inauguration party, you had also extended an invitation to Wimal sahodaraya for a discussion to iron out the differences of opinion that appear to have suddenly cropped up between you.

I am sure this is an invitation which will not be declined, but most people are convinced that these so-called ‘disagreements’ are nothing but an act to fool the masses because we all know Wimal sahodaraya as His Master’s Voice and little more than a clown minus the red nose.

We won’t be surprised at all if Wimal sahodaraya emerges from this discussion saying that he is ready to live happily ever after with your government. He will of course offer some long winded explanation as to how he has resolved the disagreement he had with you about setting up casinos too!

Since you are dealing with all these invitations, Mahinda maama, I sure we will also soon receive an invitation: to cast our vote at the next big elections. Unfortunately for us though, what is most uncommon these days is a ‘common’ candidate!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: If you are looking for a replacement for Wigneswaran, you could try either Uncle Ranil or young Sajith. Just looking at how both of them are helping you, I wouldn’t be surprised if both of them want to come along!

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